Joe’s view is that you generally don’t need to be overly concerned about it. That said, some restaurants he knows won’t accept customers who don’t drink wine, and others—like izakaya—can feel awkward if you’re not drinking, so he avoids those places. But that’s more the exception. For example, at many high-end sushi restaurants, you’re more likely to hear, “We’re not an izakaya.”
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From the perspective of someone who doesn’t drink, a red-faced, stinking-breathed older man who’s drunk looks far more disgusting and repulsive than drinkers imagine themselves to be.
Please don’t make an offer—we’d just feel sorry for you.
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I can handle quite a bit of alcohol and usually drink, but I hardly ever drink on dates.
I don’t see any problem with simply eating wherever you like and not drinking alcohol. If you feel bad about the restaurant, you could order the most expensive course or something that looks pricey.
If you simply don’t feel comfortable or get into the right mood without alcohol, that’s something you can work on improving yourself.
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If you can’t drink alcohol, just order a soft drink—no problem.
As long as they don’t pressure you, it should be fine.
Marika
Actually, are there really places where you can have a meal but they don’t serve alcohol?
Like inside Disneyland?
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I’m not allergic or anything, but I turn bright red when I drink, so I’m not good with alcohol.
I don’t think you’ll usually be expected to order alcohol with your meal, so you probably don’t need to worry about it too much. Personally, I don’t mind at all if my companion drinks. I’m happy as long as we can enjoy a good meal together, whether there’s alcohol or not.
Regardless of the restaurant, I don’t think drinking is ever an absolute requirement. People who want to order it can, and if you’re really concerned, there are always non-alcoholic cocktails too.
I’d appreciate the thoughtfulness if it were me, but honestly, don’t worry about it!
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The first one?
For the first date, I think you can simply have a meal at a regular restaurant. Why are you so concerned about alcohol?
You could just choose a place where alcohol isn’t served—or rather, somewhere that may offer alcohol but where it isn’t the main focus.
I think you made the right call by not making an offer, so it’s probably best not to make one in the future either.
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I’m a female member, Potassium.
First of all, it’s wonderful that you’re being so considerate and thinking that you might be making her feel obligated.
If the meal is going to be the main focus, personally, I think a place that serves alcohol would be fine as long as it offers delicious food, beautifully presented dishes, or meals that make good use of seasonal ingredients. I’d be even happier if the restaurant had a nice atmosphere, stylish interior, or some other distinctive touch.
Alcohol can sometimes make people more talkative and help the conversation flow, but if it’s your first time spending time together, going without alcohol might actually be more enjoyable. The food can provide plenty of easy conversation topics, and you may find yourselves having a great time.
That’s just how I feel, though!
Of course, talking about each other is important too. But I imagine not many women would start talking about themselves nonstop with “I’m this way” or “I do that” right after meeting someone for the first time. If either person comes on too strongly, it can make the other feel uncomfortable, so maybe it’s better to start with more neutral conversation…
If only you drink alcohol, the woman may feel obliged to be considerate of you. So unless she says, “Please, go ahead and drink,” it might not be a good idea to drink too much.
To sum up my personal opinion: even if the restaurant serves alcohol, I don’t think you need to worry too much as long as there’s other appealing food or something else to enjoy.
This isn’t papa-katsu, but when I was in Osaka, I once had a nonalcoholic cocktail made with seasonal fruit at a bar that uses liquid nitrogen, and it was so exciting (*´꒳`*)
That’s my personal take.
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If there’s food as well as alcohol, I don’t think you need to worry about it.
I regularly go to French or Italian restaurants, yakiniku restaurants, and places like that.
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I usually choose restaurants without giving much thought to alcohol. As long as you don’t pressure her to drink, it should be fine. And if you feel it might make her uncomfortable, you could simply avoid ordering alcohol yourself.
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