I had an adult relationship for the first time the other day, and there was so much I didn’t understand.
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The other person’s moaning—“Ah, ah”—was off-putting, and when he suddenly said, “I’m into M too, so you can pinch my nipples,” I could only think, “Huh?”
I don’t know whether it was because I felt detached the whole time or whether I’m simply unable to feel pleasure, but I felt nothing when he licked my nipples, performed oral sex on me, or penetrated me. I just kept a straight face.
It didn’t feel good at all, and I have very little experience with adult relationships, so I couldn’t even pretend.
If anything, I became more interested in how the human body works, and while he was penetrating me, I found myself thinking about the mysteries of human anatomy.
It was honestly annoying being asked things like, “Don’t you feel anything?” or “Doesn’t it feel good?”
Does he really not understand that if I were enjoying myself, I’d naturally react by moaning or moving my hips on my own?
He eventually ejaculated, so I assume he enjoyed himself.
In my case, there’s no love involved in sex through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), so I don’t mind giving him oral sex or using my hands to make him feel good. But honestly, I wish he wouldn’t expect me to show some kind of reaction.
Are women in adult relationships expected to react?
If she’s that boring, I wouldn’t want to have sex with her again, so if I were a man, I simply wouldn’t continue seeing her.
You’ll probably be able to continue with men who are okay with that.
Marika
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That’s what you’d call openly declaring yourself a “starfish.” In a way, it’s refreshingly honest, but I can’t get into it unless my partner is enjoying it—or at least pretends to be. So I’ve parted ways with people who just lie there.
Since it’s papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), it would be nice if I could enjoy sex too, but unfortunately, that hasn’t worked out. Maybe you’ll understand how with more experience.
If you really dislike sex but have to do it for the money, you might find it easier if you put some effort into acting like you’re enjoying it in a way that doesn’t seem fake. Your papa (a male supporter) will probably finish sooner.
Why not try putting a little more effort into acting?
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I’d love to receive a reverse offer myself sometime.
You don’t have to keep pursuing someone you’re not really interested in.
Mr. Loser,
> Because I want to be insanely popular
If the opportunity comes up, why not try competing at 5 per pay-per-meeting arrangement?
Also, you’re free to write as much as you like about your own approach, but:
> I can only reach women who are willing to accept 5.
That’s insulting not only to men but to women as well. No one is saying that you’re a papa (a male supporter) who can only attract people with a high allowance, so please have the room to acknowledge that other approaches can bring happiness too. Everyone finds happiness and fulfillment in different ways—and both men and women have value. There’s no need to make assumptions.
I think it would be great if more women could find happiness in their own way.
It’s entirely up to you to feel fulfilled and satisfied, Mr. Loser. In fact, I hope you keep doing exactly that.
The fact that you can make something this engaging to read despite offering a high allowance is genuinely impressive and valuable.
Just like in Tutor Torako, where the question is, “Who’s happier: someone earning 10 million yen a year or someone earning 3 million?” perhaps “Who’s happier: someone in a monthly arrangement paying 1 million yen or someone earning 50,000 yen per meeting?” is an eternal question. Even Ace would never reveal what he really thinks, though…
Hmmm… I wonder if there are actually people in this world who are happy earning 3 million yen a year and unable to join a club?
The world is a big place…
Wait—when it comes to clubs, does the question become, “Who’s happier: someone earning 100 million yen a year or someone earning 10 million?”?
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I was going to say adult entertainment work might suit you better, but even that requires you to act out your reactions.
If you need the money, pretend you’re an actor and put on an act like you’re enjoying yourself. If you can’t do that, give up.
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If the relationship continues, I think that’s all that matters.
Everyone’s circumstances are different, so I’m sure there are people like Mack as well.
I’m sure you need the money, but please don’t push yourself too hard.
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First of all, I think the other person was at fault for making those creepy “ah, ah” sounds and suddenly saying during intimacy, “I’m into being submissive too, so you can pinch my nipples.”
That man seemed to be having self-centered sex.
If you didn’t feel good at all, I don’t think you should pretend otherwise. Exaggerated reactions when you’re genuinely enjoying yourself can boost your partner’s mood, and there’s nothing wrong with that since you’re not communicating something untrue. However, if you pretend when you’re not enjoying it, they may see through the act and lose interest—or, even if they don’t, it could lead to them continuing to do things that feel unpleasant.
I do think a woman’s reactions are important in an adult relationship (intimate), but it’s better not to fake them.
I know I’m repeating myself, but I think the problem was that the other person simply wasn’t good.
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> I have very little experience with adult relationships, so I can’t pretend.
What did you do in the few experiences you’ve had so far?
I’m guessing you didn’t feel much even then, so what did you do in those situations? That’s what I’m wondering.
You make it sound as though you dislike being with older men, but from what you’ve written, it seems your partner’s age isn’t the issue—you felt the same way even when you were with a boyfriend around your own age.
You should think carefully about what the difference is.
If you mean that you wouldn’t mind if he were your boyfriend, then I don’t think you’re suited to a dating club, and you should probably quit.
You’d be better off living a life where you’re only intimate with your boyfriend.
> Honestly, I’d rather you didn’t expect me to react to you in some particular way.
That part is entirely up to you. I think you should do what feels right for you, since that way you won’t get exhausted or emotionally drained.
However, if you keep rejecting what men want and saying things like, “I can’t do that either,” “I won’t do this,” or “Don’t do that,” they’ll eventually stop wanting to see you. It isn’t enjoyable for them.
You don’t have to force yourself, but I do think there needs to be some mutual consideration.
With that in mind, I think you should only enter into an adult relationship with someone you find impressive in at least one way, or someone you find genuinely cute.
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I understand why it would kill the mood, but I don’t think there’s any need to make that known in this kind of allowance-based relationship.
If you feel grossed out but are willing to be intimate with an old man or older guy for the money, wouldn’t it be better to get it over with quickly and keep it short?
Also, if he can tell that you’re thinking, “You’re gross,” it’ll ultimately take you further away from what you’re trying to accomplish.
Akari
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> Honestly, I’d rather you didn’t expect any kind of reaction from me.
> Is a woman’s reaction necessary in an adult relationship (intimate)?
> I’ll leave the questions to the other answerers…
Reading your question, I got the impression that, although your lack of experience may be part of it, your body wasn’t responding because he simply wasn’t someone you felt comfortable being intimate with. Since you’re still young, it’s best to only be with men you feel you could be intimate with.
Intimacy isn’t something you should force yourself to do（笑）
Just wait until you actually want to. As you already realize, I think your body will naturally start responding too.
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I’m Ryo, a female respondent.
I think most men become aroused and reach climax through visual and auditory stimulation. So, as Potassium-san said, reacting appropriately and helping things wrap up sooner will likely satisfy your partner, lead to another meeting, and help the arrangement last longer.
If you don’t want to continue, I think it’s better to end things.
I hope you find someone who’s compatible with you and makes you feel good, rather than someone whose adult relationship feels uncomfortable.
Being with someone you’re genuinely compatible with is less stressful, more sustainable, and makes it easier to build a stable relationship.
I hope you meet a papa (a male supporter) like that.
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I’m female member Potassium.
> Are women expected to react during an adult relationship?
I don’t go out of my way to do it, but I do think it’s necessary.
Since you said, “There’s no love involved in intimacy through papa-katsu,” I assume your goal is money. If so, I think it’s even more necessary.
No—if money isn’t the issue and you simply want to reduce the number of encounters you have with papas, why not write something like:
“I’d honestly prefer that you not expect any particular reaction from me during an adult relationship. If I’m not enjoying myself, I won’t react at all, so please understand.”
Though maybe writing that would attract lots of men thinking, “I could make her react!” lol
If you believe ejaculation is the ultimate goal, as mentioned in a previous question, many men apparently find it easier to finish when a woman reacts in a way that shows she’s enjoying herself. So, in a sense, having the woman react may help him finish faster—which would be an advantage for you, wouldn’t it?
If money is your goal, I think you’ll earn more by doing whatever benefits you lol
Of course, you can draw your own line and continue seeing people on your own terms, but I felt your feelings were too halfhearted, and that this kind of relationship through a dating club may not be for you.
The mysteries of the human body are fascinating—I agree with you there!
My pet bird often gets aroused by me, and every time, I’ve been trying to figure out how to make it feel good and where its sensitive spots are. The other day, it finally finished! I was so happy—maybe I should’ve flash-frozen it for storage....
Wait, birds aren’t people! lol
Anyway, that’s just my personal opinion.
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You don’t have to react if you don’t feel like it. There’s absolutely no problem with that.
Whatever happens as a result of not reacting will simply come back to the person asking the question. They might get cut off, or the papa might increase their allowance and continue seeing them.
All you have to do is calmly accept the outcome.
In this Q&A box, I tell the papas things like:
- Start working out
- Get hair removal
- Floss and use interdental brushes
- Increase the allowance
But if you don’t want hair removal, then don’t do it. If you want to keep your beer belly, go ahead.
The only thing that happens is that the result—“I’m ridiculously unpopular”—comes back to you. If your pay-per-meeting allowance is 50,000 yen, you’ll simply only be able to reach women who are willing to accept 50,000 yen.
Personally, I want to be incredibly popular, so I’m hammering my lower body with barbell squats first thing this morning too. Chicken legs are embarrassing, after all.
P.S.
I saw a completely untouched one just the other day. There was no way I could get in. I can’t do virgins. When they’re in that much pain, even with plenty of lubricant, it’s completely impossible. I don’t think I’d ever be able to do it, and I stopped because it started to feel like a kind of DV, honestly.
Even seeing how much pain she seemed to be in from just a finger made me feel sorry for her, and my supposedly magnum-steel penis turned into slime.
P.S.
I’ve gone for it plenty of times with a pay-per-meeting allowance of 50,000 yen—even with women who have a premium attached. Though I guess I’ve never tried it with a premium Black-tier girl.
If she agrees to 50,000 yen, I give her 100,000 yen or more in the room. I like seeing the surprised look on her face. Besides, adult relationships for 50,000 yen aren’t possible for me. It makes me feel like I’m exploiting her.
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