The man I’m seeing has been able to meet less often lately, so I’m starting to consider seeing someone else as well. I’m torn between registering with the club again and reaching out to men who previously made me offers.
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These are men I stopped seeing after the second meeting due to scheduling issues on my end. Would it be okay to contact them out of the blue when it’s convenient for me...? Would men dislike hearing from a woman they haven’t been able to meet anymore?
If there was a man among those who previously made you an offer whom you’d be willing to meet, I think it would be fine to reach out to him.
That said, you’d generally need to accept the previous terms as they were, so only do so if you’re okay with that.
Also, he may feel suspicious about why you’re suddenly getting in touch, so it would be best to explain your reasons clearly.
Re-registering with the club is fine too.
However, you’ll receive fewer offers than you did as a new member, so be sure to value anyone who does make you an offer.
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If I were you, I’d probably do both.
First, I’d reach out cutely to the person who offered before, saying something like:
“I took a break for a while because of [〇〇], but I’ve recently had more free time again and thought of you. I’d really like to see you, [〇〇]!”
Of course, there’s no guarantee they’ll reply, so I’d ask to have my profile hidden from them for now, then re-register and look for other people too.
I hope you find someone wonderful!
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Maybe it’s time to graduate from papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)—in other words, quit. I think it’s okay to become independent.
Recently, I got an update from my longtime girlfriend—who is also my ex-wife. We hadn’t really seen each other during COVID.
She happily told me that the business she started a few years ago was finally turning a profit. At first, things weren’t going well at all, and I was even worried that she might be getting scammed, so it felt almost miraculous and really surprised me.
Then, when I was about to end the call, she wouldn’t hang up. I wondered what was going on, until she said, “I want you to praise me!” Ah, so that’s why she called…
I’m sure I’ll still give her advice and go out for meals with her from time to time, but since she has a husband and children, I don’t think we’ll be going to hotels or me giving her allowance anymore.
There’s nothing wrong with leaving inappropriate papa-katsu behind and returning to the conventional world. Contacting someone from your past just for that… how embarrassing…
At the very least, if you’re going to do it with someone you’ve met three or more times…
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I’ve never seen a man feel annoyed about hearing from a woman.
If he truly hates her, he’ll have already blocked her, so the notification won’t even come through. And if he has even the slightest interest in her, it’s in a man’s nature to keep her contact information around, hoping he might still have a chance.
So go ahead and reach out without worrying about it.
Something like this should work:
“While organizing my contacts, I came across your name and was reminded of the wonderful memories I have of you, so I couldn’t help but get in touch. I’m sure you’re doing well, but it’s incredibly hot and COVID is going around, so please take good care of yourself.
[Questioner’s name]
P.S. No need to reply—please don’t feel obligated.”
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I think most men are happy to hear from a woman, so I don’t see any harm in reaching out. However, depending on how you contact them, there’s also a chance they may not reply.
It might be best to try both: re-register and wait for offers while also reaching out yourself.
Apparently, re-registering can sometimes lead to men you previously met contacting you again.
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