I’m crazy about my papa.

Are you really jealous of his wife? Even if you could marry that papa (a male supporter), he’d probably just start doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) with another woman instead of you. Or do you actually think he wouldn’t do the same to you? You seem rather naïve, if you ask me.

Aside from the height and being handsome, the situation sounds very familiar to me. If you’re both happy with things as they are, then I suppose that’s fine. But since you also seem to want to come to your senses, I’ll share my thoughts along with something that happened to me in the past. It wasn’t at this club, but I once had a long-term relationship with someone. At first, we were both seeing several other people, but as we grew closer, we started meeting more often and eventually stopped seeing anyone else. Perhaps your situation is similar. She told me that, aside from the fact that I was married, I was everything she wanted. Then one day, she quietly said, “Because I like you, it’s painful to continue seeing you while accepting an allowance.” I had gotten completely carried away by her saying I was her ideal and by the fact that she liked me. I was simply enjoying myself, and when I realized I had made her say something like that, I thought I was an awful person—and I came to my senses. I also knew that she wanted to get married. And as Rin-san pointed out, my family comes first. I was conveniently using this kind of activity to satisfy the size of my own desires, so I realized there was no future if things went any further. Starting that day, I actually increased her allowance, stopped our adult relationship (intimate), and forcibly changed what had started to feel like romance back into a papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) dynamic. Before long, the feelings cooled on both sides, and it felt like we had both come to our senses. (If she had been manipulating me with all of this carefully calculated, I’d have to applaud her—that would just give me even more reason to praise the person I was seeing.) She also went on to get married safely. Sorry for the long story, but although this is only one example, as Rin-san suggested, it might be worth proposing that you continue seeing each other without an allowance. If he refuses that but still won’t divorce his wife, I think it would be perfectly reasonable for you to end things. Even after all of that, I’m still active at the club today, so I recognize that I’m a pretty terrible person.

That’s great to hear. I’d stay exactly as you are, find a boyfriend at the same level—or better—and marry him, while continuing things with that papa even after getting married. If Fuu were a woman, that’s what I’d aim for. I’m greedy, so I want to have it all and keep everything in balance...

You’re lucky to have found such a wonderful papa. Since you asked me to give you a reality check… Would you still love seeing him exactly as you do now if there were no allowance? You like him because of the allowance too, don’t you?! And I’m sure your papa’s relationship with you is also possible because there’s an allowance involved. What matters most to him is probably his family, and even though he has a family, he wants to experience a kind of pretend romance—which is why he joined a dating club. He likely sees this as better than simply having an affair with someone nearby. So, for him, the allowance he gives you is what keeps a clear boundary between you. If you tell him you want to see him without an allowance, you may be the one who gets cut off. That said, if you truly think he’s such a wonderful person, I think it’s fine to continue as you are until you lose interest or your circumstances change. Someone who can meet such a wonderful papa must be a wonderful person too!

A papa who’s 180 cm tall sounds great. But one thing is clear: the moment he started a relationship with you through a dating club, he became a papa-katsu man who pays to size up young women. He has a wife but still goes after younger girls—and papa-katsu is seen by society as something dirty. If you had a boyfriend in his 20s and he gave money to a 15-year-old girl for papa-katsu or “big-brother” dating, wouldn’t you absolutely hate it? You said you wanted someone to wake you up, so I’ve given you this answer.

This isn’t a question, is it?

A man who says he looks younger than his age is a person to avoid. If he really is that impressive, taking him away from his wife and marrying him would probably be difficult. If you’re thinking about getting married, you should look for a husband in parallel, too. If you’re happy being his second choice and intend to stay single, then I think you can leave things as they are. Make sure to save some money.

Maybe you should just keep things as they are?? I think some relationships do last a long time. As a man from the club, I think this point— > being incredibly open-minded and generous —is very important. Someone like your supporter can make you feel secure and comforted. The only thing I’d be concerned about is this: > He’s good in bed, kind, and we’re physically compatible. If he feels the same way, he probably won’t let you go anytime soon. But being good in bed and kind doesn’t necessarily mean you’re truly compatible, so there is a chance he could eventually end things. That’s about the only concern I can think of… Besides, even if you asked him, a man would probably only say things like “You’re the best I’ve ever had” or “You’re number one.”