Someone I had met a few times has canceled on me twice recently, saying it was due to work.
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I had also been adjusting my schedule to accommodate him more than before, and I wasn’t happy about the second cancellation, so I told him that. I also mentioned that things have been difficult financially and asked whether it might be possible to receive my allowance anyway, but he read the message and ignored it.
If he couldn’t do it, he could have simply said so. I’m appalled by how small-minded it is to just ignore me.
I realize I may not have built much of a relationship of trust with him yet, but do men really feel that women’s schedules don’t matter at all?
It feels like this relationship may be over, so I’m unsure how to handle things from here.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
I’ve never taken a woman’s schedule lightly, nor have I ever canceled at the last minute.
When circumstances on my end have shortened the time we could meet, I’ve still paid the agreed-upon allowance.
Since the questions are anonymous, it’s impossible to know what’s true and what isn’t, but so many of them make me feel that neither side is showing much consideration for the other.
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Couldn’t that “read but no reply” be their way of ending things?
If it were me, I’d reply explaining why I wanted to end things. Sometimes there’s no response after that, and other times I get a standard “Thank you for everything” message and then get blocked.
There are many different ways to end a relationship.
I don’t consider someone petty just because they end things that way.
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I feel like schedule management really varies from person to person.
There are women who cancel at the last minute a lot, too. Even if they’re considerate toward their partner, they can be completely hopeless when it comes to scheduling, and I’ve ended up trapped in a cycle of last-minute cancellations and rescheduling.
Honestly, I’ve never had someone fix their scheduling habits just because I pointed them out. Realistically, your options are probably to look for someone else or put up with it if you really like her.
Taro
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If a woman I’ve only met a few times—and am not particularly close to—asks me for an allowance, it really kills the mood.
That said, men who cancel are at fault too.
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Dating clubs can be a world of suspicion, where some men will assume, “She only wants to meet because she’s after money,” even if you simply say, “I’d like to see you.”
So, if you want to bring out a papa’s feelings, you need to say something like, “I’d like to see you because I enjoy being with you and we always have such a wonderful time.”
The questioner’s wording—“Things are difficult financially, so if possible, could I receive an allowance?”—is a bad move. I think it’s the one thing you should never say.
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Even if she was struggling financially, she could have simply asked, “Would you be willing to meet me?” If she just said, “Please give me my allowance,” I think he’d feel put off, even if he had been considering adding something extra next time.
Marika
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If it were me, I’d definitely give her the allowance for the next two meetings if it was my fault. Actually, I have done that before. Maybe it’s because we’ve built a long-term relationship.
She only cancels at the last minute about once a year.
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It probably wasn’t a good idea to bring up wanting an allowance when you weren’t in a monthly arrangement and had only met a few times.
Being left on read may be unavoidable… Though I do think he could at least have replied, “Sorry, I can’t do that.” Maybe even that felt like too much effort for him.
It’s not that the woman’s schedule doesn’t matter. It could be due to work, or maybe he’s found someone else he likes better… We don’t know the real reason. What matters is how you feel about it.
As for what to do from here… Do you mean whether you should say goodbye and move on?
Or are you asking what you can do because you don’t want him to cut things off?
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