If someone cancels or reschedules a date for their own reasons, they should normally apologize, right?
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My papa keeps messing me around with his schedule: “Please keep this day open” → “Actually, I can’t meet” → “Actually, I can” → “Actually, I can’t.”
The reason for the cancellations is work.
I think most people would feel bad about making someone keep their schedule open and then canceling, but this time he canceled without even saying sorry, which made me a little angry.
I receive an allowance on a pay-per-meeting basis, not as a monthly arrangement.
If the date is canceled, I don’t receive anything, and I don’t think he plans to give me extra next time either.
Would you cut things off if someone kept rescheduling without apologizing?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Rescheduling because of work is understandable, but you’d still want him to apologize, right?
That said, men in positions of authority often have trouble apologizing.
Whether to cut him off is up to you.
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If he’s a club member, he’d probably rearrange his work schedule.
I can’t really think of a reason for a man to cancel…unless another girl’s plans came up.
So I don’t think he’s ever canceled before.
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I don’t think that man considers it a cancellation.
His logic is probably something like: “We were trying to work out a date, but ultimately couldn’t find one that worked. Since it was never finalized, it wasn’t really a cancellation.”
So next time he asks about your availability, you could make a pointed comment like:
“Is this date confirmed? If it isn’t, I’m free right now, but if another plan comes up, I’m going to take it.”
(Though if you think it might turn into an argument, it may be better not to.)
Also, if it ultimately turns into a cancellation, you could say something like:
“If you don’t make it up to me next time, I’m not going to see you again.”
But that might also lead to an argument unless you two have a fairly good relationship.
Still, if you’re angry enough to wonder whether you should cut ties, I think it’s fine to tell him exactly how you feel—even if it ends with you parting ways.
If you don’t say it clearly, he may not realize how you feel.
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Someone who can’t even apologize like that wouldn’t become—and I wouldn’t keep them as—a monthly arrangement.
I’ve had back-to-back cancellations, but they always contacted me beforehand and properly explained the situation. Most of the time, they couldn’t help it because they were feeling unwell.
If it happened twice in a row without an apology, or the reason wasn’t convincing, I’d end things.
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I apologize.
I don’t remember ever canceling, but when I haven’t been able to make time due to my own circumstances, I have still given her an allowance, even though it wasn’t a monthly arrangement.
Maybe it comes down to how much you value her.
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I’d be irritated too if someone canceled without even apologizing.
If it were me, I’d insist on making plans right then for the soonest possible date other than the canceled one, even if it meant rearranging my schedule.
If the cancellations kept happening, I’d wait until we finally met, air all my grievances, and then say goodbye.
If I just let him go without saying anything, he’d only cause trouble for other women, so I’d teach him a lesson.
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I’d apologize.
On the other hand, if someone canceled once or twice, I might get annoyed if they didn’t apologize, but I think I could let it go.
But if they kept rescheduling, I’d feel the same way as Rin—that I wasn’t a priority—and say goodbye.
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If it happened to me…
If work were the reason, I’d understand, and I could forgive it as long as they apologized.
But if this kept happening every time, I’d wonder if I really ranked that low on their list of priorities and say goodbye.
Even a kindergartener can say “thank you” and “I’m sorry.”
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