My reply to an offer was delayed, and it was canceled. I received an offer late Saturday afternoon, but I was busy and couldn’t reply to the staff. This morning, I was told by the staff that the man who made the offer had asked to cancel because he hadn’t received a response. I sincerely regret what happened, but can a man’s feelings really change and lead to a cancellation if the reply is delayed by one or two days?

If you leave it unattended for more than a full day, the offer will probably be gone. Marika

I think responding within 24 hours is the bare minimum. I can understand if someone genuinely couldn’t use their phone for 24 hours, but if they have a job where that’s a possibility, they should let the club staff know in advance. Whenever I make an offer and still haven’t heard back from the club by the end of business the following day, I contact the staff. In those cases, it often ends up being canceled.

I believe you were told during the interview: “Please reply within 24 hours at the latest.” And “at the latest” means that even replying after 24 hours is already considered late. Normally, a reply comes around the time someone finishes work, or even during a break beforehand, so in most cases, you’ll hear back within a few hours. In this case, after a few hours without a reply, the staff would first assume she simply hasn’t responded yet. Then they might think, “Maybe she’ll reply before going to bed tonight.” (Though they would check again the following day.) If there’s still no reply the next day, they’ll ask the man, “We still haven’t heard back from her. What would you like to do?” Usually, at this point, he’ll say that he wants to wait. Once 24 hours have passed, however, the staff will think that she hasn’t followed the instruction to reply within 24 hours given during the interview. Even so, they’ll usually wait until the evening—around 7 p.m. If there’s still no response by then, they’ll tell the man again that they haven’t heard back from her. At that point, he may start having second thoughts. The staff’s response varies, but they’ll often ask him to consider another woman as well. Since they also need to check the other woman’s availability, otherwise there’s a higher chance that no one will be available on his preferred date. Then, if the other woman happens to reply unusually quickly—say, within an hour—the man may really like her, even though they had originally only been checking her availability. He may then cancel the first woman and decide to go with the woman he had only contacted about scheduling. So when the first woman finally replies on Monday, after the weekend, the man may have already canceled through the club. That’s why I think you should understand that there are circumstances that can easily lead to someone changing their mind. If you’re busy, you should at least send something like, “I’m sorry, I’ll reply later.” Even if you do that, though, it only buys you another 24 hours at most. I know replying can be difficult when you’re busy, but I really think you should make sure to send at least a brief response.

I might cancel, thinking, “Is it going to be like this even after we start seeing each other?”

Maybe he made offers to several women at the same time. I occasionally send offers to multiple women for a specific date and time. Normally, I’ll wait as many days as it takes for a reply.

She may not have changed her mind. He might have offered to several women and simply decided on the one who responded first. It’s basically first-come, first-served.