I’m seeing a woman regularly and giving her an allowance. We go on dates about twice a month and have already become intimate. I’ve told her that I’d like to go to a hotel on every date, but when I invite her to a hotel on the day, she often turns me down because she’s on her period... In those cases, we just have dinner only (no intimacy).
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I have a general understanding of women’s bodies, including menstrual cycles, but perhaps her cycle is irregular. I don’t think she’s lying to me.
To be honest, I’m giving her an allowance and we have a monthly arrangement, but since we can’t meet that often, I’d prefer to reschedule the date if I knew in advance that she would be on her period. I’m curious how other people handle this. I understand that everyone is different, but I’d appreciate hearing your opinions.
For the men: If you regularly see a woman, do you avoid scheduling dates during her period from the beginning? Do you tell her that? If you have any tips on how to bring it up, I’d be grateful if you could share them.
For the women: I’m sorry if this is an insensitive question. If she were my girlfriend or wife, I’d simply plan a date that worked for her during her period. But since money is involved, I’m wondering how others handle it. How do you communicate with your papa (a male supporter) about your period?
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I don’t think I’d enjoy it unless the dates were like the ones I go on with my wife or girlfriend.
If you’re not interested in enjoying the relationship, it’s probably not for you.
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We do talk about it—usually just casually, like, “Let’s reschedule because I’m on my period.”
After meeting a few times, she may tell you when her period is, or you start to get a general idea from repeatedly adjusting your schedules.
Then you choose dates that avoid her expected period.
If her period comes early or hasn’t finished yet, she’ll contact you and you reschedule.
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> If she were your girlfriend or wife, I’d say you could simply enjoy a date suited to her period. But since money is involved, I can understand your concern.
Judging from the wording alone, it kind of sounds like she’s taking you for granted…
Maybe she thinks that just saying she’s on her period means she doesn’t have to go to a hotel.
If she cared about you and enjoyed being intimate with you, she’d probably be disappointed and try to reschedule when she got her period. The fact that she doesn’t… well.
> How do you communicate with your papa about your period?
We just talk about it normally. I see my papa fairly often, and he treats me like a girlfriend, so we do exactly what you described: “If she were your girlfriend or wife, you could enjoy a date suited to her period.”
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I also see her about twice a month, and that hasn’t changed since we started seeing each other.
> How do you communicate with your papa about your period?
We talk about everything.
For example:
“My periods are really heavy.”
“My cycle is irregular, and I still haven’t gotten my period, so maybe being intimate here will stimulate it and make it start.”
“Men are lucky they don’t have periods,” and so on.
For the past couple of years, we’ve scheduled our dates around her availability, but even then, there are times when she contacts me on the day of the date to say, “I got my period, so can we postpone it for a week?”
There was also one time when she got her period during our date, so we just had dinner and parted ways.
I told her I didn’t mind since period days could be a “raw” opportunity, but she said she didn’t want to.
In my case, I don’t have any other plans, so I simply go along with whatever she suggests.
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I can’t help but shake the feeling from your wording that you only see value in what a woman’s body has to offer.
That’s probably the issue.
You just need to plan dates that make women want to go to a hotel with you every time.
If you’re the one saying, “I want to go to a hotel every time,” she’ll think, “Oh, this man only cares about what suits him.” The moment you say “every time,” everything else you explain starts to sound like a lie.
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Getting her period that day is a chance to show what kind of man you are.
Try your best to grit your teeth, act like a gentleman, and keep it to a dinner date only.
Whatever you do, don’t treat her like a casual sex partner or an object by asking her to take care of you with her mouth or hands. Treat her like someone special.
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When we make plans to meet again, she lets me know which days don’t work for her, including the days around the planned date.
Sometimes her prediction is off, and she lets me know on the day itself or the day before. In those cases, we just meet as planned without changing the date.
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