My papa’s wife is a stay-at-home mom, and their child is in fourth grade, so things apparently aren’t all that difficult anymore now that the child has calmed down a bit. But she supposedly doesn’t even make breakfast, spends all the time on her phone while the child is at school, and lounges around without makeup. She even farts right in front of him. Of course, they’re apparently close as a family, even though papa says things like, “If I could start my life over, I wouldn’t get married,” and he says he doesn’t want his affair to be discovered.
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From the wife’s perspective, would she really be unable to accept her husband seeing other women, even though he’s wealthy, she’s given up on being feminine, and they no longer have an intimate relationship? Or does she actually think he isn’t cheating despite things being like this? I’m a college student with little experience and don’t really understand men, women, or marriage very well. I’d appreciate your gentle opinions.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Teens👑Universe female member
People tend to take flattering things at face value, bask in a little sense of superiority, and live happily, don’t they?
Whether they’re really in a sexless relationship, whether things are truly that bad, and whether they actually feel comfortable with each other—only the people involved really know.
If you’re giving a young woman money and hoping for even a slightly genuine, romantic connection, of course you’re going to offer some lip service.
You’re not really in a position to one-up others by saying, “I’m the only one!”
Both of you are the same.
—Akari
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When we got married, I told my wife, “If you ever fall for someone, it’s okay to date them. I’d prefer it if you told me, though.”
I said that because, although my wife is an artist—not necessarily a successful one—she’s an incredibly serious person. In my mind, artists were supposed to be passionate people.
So when my wife got a boyfriend, I was actually really happy (lol). That’s when her artistic style began to change, too. I came to like her paintings even more.
I suppose there isn’t just one way for a married couple to be. Though, saying that does sound a bit like I’m justifying myself—even to me. I’m still wandering through life today.
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My violent, hysterical wife, who used to lash out physically, has finally started to calm down now that she’s nearing 40. Once that happened, I started finding her cute again—she was already cute to begin with, and even in her mid-30s people mistook her for a college student. Lately, I’ve been carrying her on my back or in my arms, and even grabbing her butt.
Our daughter is incredibly adorable too, so I don’t think I’ll get divorced. At the end of the day, I love my wife and can’t bring myself to abandon her.
The senior members here keep telling me to get divorced, though（笑）.
According to my wife, in a previous life, she and I were parent and child living in medieval Europe, with me as her father and her as my daughter. Apparently, she died young, and I’ve been carrying the burden of that regret as karma.
In this life, supposedly I’m carrying the karma of “This time, I’ll make you happy no matter what.” That’s why I can’t abandon her.
To put it simply, using Evangelion as an analogy, I’m Kaworu and my wife is Shinji:
“Now is the time of our promise, Ikari Shinji. This time, I’ll make sure you alone are happy.”
Apparently, that’s the kind of feeling she means.
So why do I spend time at a dating club? At the root of it, it’s probably just interest and curiosity. Lately, I’ve been losing interest, so I’m starting to feel like I’m done with this kind of thing.
I’ll look for some new pastime that sparks my interest and motivation.
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That’s how things were before the divorce.
There was zero love between us, but arguing was exhausting, so we acted friendly on the surface and enjoyed our life together.
They were so full of themselves that I was always thinking I’d leave them someday.
But if my own affair gets discovered, the terms of the divorce will be worse, so I’m being careful. When I suddenly told my wife I wanted a divorce after she made a mistake, she was completely shocked. It must have felt like it came out of nowhere. Divorce can happen suddenly.
I just started watching *Fishbowl Wives*. It’s pretty interesting.
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You’re a college student with little experience, so you may not understand, but for married men, a dating club is valuable because it’s a safe adult space where they can have some fun.
If they simply had an affair, it would lead to all kinds of complications, and there’d be a much higher risk of their wives finding out. That’s why men use dating clubs.
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If we put it in idealistic terms, even if a man no longer sees his wife as a woman, she may become someone he shares the responsibility of protecting the household with. If he loves his children and his wife takes care of the home, allowing them to live a peaceful family life, he probably wants to protect that family.
For men, papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is about dreams and desires—something that looks glamorous from their perspective, and being able to make those dreams come true probably makes them very happy.
I think women involved in papa-katsu are doing a job that helps make those dreams come true.
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