I’m a 21-year-old university student. I have an older brother who is 37, and I received an offer from a 37-year-old man the same age as my brother, so we met at a café.

Whether you genuinely like older men or not can make all the difference in whether things work out. I think you’d be better off considering other ways to earn money.

Since 37 is considered relatively young here, if it makes you feel sick to the point of gagging, maybe this just isn’t for you. You’d probably be better off looking for another way to make money.

This isn’t sex work, so if the thought of intimacy makes you feel sick, you just need to think about and make an effort to share other forms of value and enjoyment. Read through the profile of the man who sent you an offer, or ask the staff if it isn’t publicly available. Think hard about what he might enjoy based on his profile, prepare accordingly, and put it into practice on your date. If you can get him to say, “You thought that much about me? I’m touched,” then you’ve done something impressive. To the person asking: You have plenty of value to offer besides your body. You just haven’t made the effort to recognize your own worth or figure out what makes the other person happy.

It’s been three and a half years since I joined Universe. Lately, I’ve been making offers far less often. Of the women I was introduced to through the club, I’m still seeing two. First is G-chan. She’s already left the club, but as far as Joe knows, she was a textbook papa-katsu girl. She’d go out for dinner and enjoy some private time four or five times a week, plus take a few trips each month. I don’t think she could keep it up if it were nothing but putting up with things. As she put it, “I try to enjoy it to the fullest.” Apparently, between her allowance and investments—with guidance from her papa—she’s built up savings in the high eight-figure range. She’s also obtained some pretty challenging qualifications. Papa-katsu has truly helped her open up her life. The other is Ero-jo. She’s left the club too, and she joined because of her interest in intimacy and the allowance. She says her sex drive is five times stronger than most people’s, and club activities have also brought more fulfillment into her life. What surprised me was that she wasn’t just naughty—she was intelligent, too. Once I realized that, I felt much closer to her. We’re planning to go see a play somewhere next month. This got long, but my point is that these activities should come with at least a little fun, stimulation, or fulfillment in addition to the allowance. Otherwise, they may do more harm than good. There’s nothing wrong with meeting someone since everything is an experience, but if you feel sick to your stomach, don’t take off your panties. You’re young, so you have to trust your own sense of right and wrong.

I may not be much help since I’ve never forced myself to have sex. If you’re talking about feeling “sick,” why not work at a hostess club or lounge instead of pushing yourself? There are plenty of wealthy older men there. You can simply chat with them and have drinks together (and at a lounge, you don’t even have to force yourself to drink) and make tens of thousands of yen a day. Also, I don’t have an older brother with a big age gap, but when I was 21—the same age as you—I thought anyone over 30 was an old man. Looking back, that was rude, but most of the female students my age felt the same way. We even looked at a girl dating a 31-year-old dentist with admiration, like, “Wow.” I think that’s just how young people are. Guys your age probably also think women around 30 or older are middle-aged.

You’re not doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) just to put up with things. Your papa (a male supporter) gives you an allowance so you can enjoy a little romance. If you can’t do that, you’re better off quitting papa-katsu. Improve your professional skills and make money that way. There’s no need to become depressed.