I told my papa in his 50s, “I’m still not sure, so I’ll get back to you when it gets closer,” when he asked whether we could meet after work ten days from then, but I haven’t contacted him for a week.
Before that, we had been in touch every three days or so, but I was genuinely busy this week.
As a result, he got upset and canceled our overnight trip at the end of the month. He also sent me a long message saying that I could decide for myself whether we would continue seeing each other.
I would know my work schedule by two days beforehand, so I was planning to contact him around then. That’s why I was a little taken aback—and honestly surprised—to receive a message like that.
It’s difficult for me if he expects me to confirm whether we can meet several days in advance and gets sulky just because I haven’t been able to stay in frequent contact. I work too, so I’m not always free.
I do intend to continue seeing him, but in this situation, what should I say in my apology?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
If you don’t know until two days beforehand, it’s impossible to make plans, and your papa must find that difficult too. I understand that being busy can leave you with little emotional bandwidth, but if he were truly someone you cared about, you would at least have contacted him.
Perhaps your papa dislikes feeling neglected or taken lightly.
That said, I do wish he’d respond more casually—something like, “I couldn’t get in touch with you, so I canceled this time.” My papa is more like a lover or a traditional mistress’s benefactor, so he ranks high on my list of priorities. But for a young woman, her papa obviously isn’t the most important thing in her life.
He should be praising you for being such an independent, responsible woman.
If you want to continue the relationship, apologize. If you find him a nuisance, end it.
The decision is yours.
Marika
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If you intend to keep seeing him, apologize right away instead of getting frustrated with him.
Even if you’re busy, you should at least be able to say, “I’m busy this week.”
I think that papa (a male supporter) was disappointed to realize that he wasn’t a priority to you.
Personally, after the second meeting, if I invite him out and he turns me down for any reason, I generally fade out unless he invites me next time.
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Early in an arrangement, men can get excited too and may end up closing the distance too quickly.
I think it’s important to gently—or sometimes clearly—tell him when you’re busy, so you can establish a comfortable distance and contact frequency for you.
If you can’t find a comfortable balance together, the relationship will probably end. But if you can, it can last a long time.
If your papa (a male supporter) won’t adjust the distance and you can’t put up with his persistence, move on to another papa.
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“I’m truly sorry… I’ve been busier these past few days than I’ve ever been before… and this is what happened.” Perhaps you could sincerely explain exactly what was so difficult about work.
Make sure to offer a heartfelt apology first.
If he still gets upset, there’s a chance he may cause problems for you in the future as well.
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Why not just explain the situation honestly and apologize?
If he’s told you that it’s up to you whether you want to meet, then you could tell him you do want to see him and apologize for being too busy to get in touch.
If he still says he can’t forgive you, then there’s not much you can do. If work was so hectic that you couldn’t reply, something like this may happen again in the future. If he can’t understand that, perhaps you simply weren’t a good match.
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It’s something that will happen sooner or later. Honestly, I can’t help wondering whether it’s really appropriate for a grown man to say he’s “always available.”
I think all you can do is explain how you feel and that you’d like to continue seeing him, then see how your papa (a male supporter) responds. It’s not a good idea to just apologize, gloss over the real issue, and leave the cause unresolved.
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