What does it mean when people say that giving the allowance upfront ruins the mood?

Maybe men just want to enjoy a kind of make-believe romance without money being involved until they finish. Then afterward, they come back to their senses and think, “Oh, right. This was real—I need to pay her.” Honestly, that’s pretty childish. (lol) Do these guys also hate paying a gym membership fee upfront and insist on paying afterward? Or do they pay after boarding a plane or Shinkansen because paying beforehand would ruin the mood? I feel like saying, “First, show me how you plan to take a Shinkansen and pay afterward.” (Although maybe they’d actually try it while arguing with the station staff.) If you want to debate this, I’ll debate you. But in the first place, women have no guarantee that they’ll receive any money, so it’s perfectly normal for them to want the allowance upfront. When you think about it that way, I wish men would simply pay upfront. Clearly, women are the ones in the weaker position here, so I’d like to see men show a little maturity and generosity. > “Can’t you enjoy the experience, including giving her the allowance?” I think some men really do have a “me, me, me” attitude. And many of them are probably used to getting their way at work, so I imagine it’s difficult for them. They’re essentially the emperor with no clothes. Instead, I think the person asking this question should simply make up her mind never to be intimate with men like that. If a man starts talking about how paying upfront would ruin the mood, you can just say: “The mood’s ruined now, so I’m going home.” The mood was ruined because he insisted on paying later. You’re both free to make your own choices. If you decide from the start not to get involved with men like that, you probably won’t feel as though you’re giving up an allowance in that moment. How you choose to live is up to you. I think it’s perfectly fine to live with pride.

Was there ever any mood here to begin with?

I consider being a papa (a male supporter) a kind of profession, and I really enjoy being one, so I’m very particular about the whole allowance issue. 1. Tell her the allowance amount as early as possible during the first dinner date. 2. On the first adult relationship (intimate) date, hand over the adult allowance during dinner. 3. For my monthly arrangements, give her the next allowance when we part. These are the three basic principles I follow in my relationships. Even when I was poor, I loved treating women and younger male friends, so in a sense, being a papa is simply an extension of that. The moment I hand over the allowance is basically like ejaculation for me—I want to give it to her as soon as possible and see the happy look on her face. I have none of that meaningless, chūnibyō nonsense about worrying over the mood or feeling pathetic because I can’t have sex without paying. If anything, I’m more like, “Please, just take the money. If you won’t accept it, we’re not having sex.” There was only one time when the whole “I don’t need money today” thing actually happened and I reluctantly accepted it. But the atmosphere became incredibly awkward, and I ended up transferring the money later anyway. It’s really about what men work for in the first place. To look cool in front of women, right? To be attractive, right? So I don’t understand this talk about mood, or Carlos Ghosn (allowance: 5), or whatever. From a woman’s perspective, I can’t imagine anything less cool than Carlos. If you have money, you should give some to the girl. In that sense, the most difficult one is my girlfriend who’s three years younger than me. Maybe it’s because we’ve known each other for so long, or maybe it’s her own pride, but she really won’t accept money easily. It’s quite a problem.

Saying it would ruin the mood is, in a sense, just an excuse. Personally, I’ve never forgotten to give the allowance, and no woman has ever asked me whether I could pay upfront. For reference, with AB-type arrangements, I pay upfront as soon as we meet. With CD-type arrangements, I pay after we enter the hotel, just before becoming intimate. I’ve heard that some women take the money and disappear…

I prefer girls who aren’t used to dating clubs, so I can’t pay in advance… Even bringing up the allowance or agreeing on an amount…

I don’t really understand what people mean when they talk about “mood,” either. But at the same time, I don’t see it as simply giving spending money to a girl I like. That probably comes down to personal sensibilities, so you’d be better off asking the person who said it would ruin the mood.

I always think, “Why not give her the allowance first and then set the mood?” If you’re in a dating club, you already know there’s an allowance involved—especially when both people have agreed on the amount. So it makes me wonder, “What are you talking about?” Everyone has their own perspective, but someone who can casually hand over the allowance upfront is pretty classy.