That’s awful.
From now on, always confirm the allowance and contraception before agreeing to an adult relationship (intimate).
A good papa (male supporter) will bring it up himself. If he doesn’t, make sure to ask.
Hopefully, you’ll meet an ideal supporter next time...
> If I decide I’m uncomfortable after entering the room on the first date, could the other person leave me negative feedback?
It depends on the reason.
In this case, it sounds like the two of you simply couldn’t agree, so even if the man leaves negative feedback, I think he would be the one in the wrong.
That said, once you’re already in the room, there’s a chance he could lash out even if you’ve done nothing wrong.
At the very least, I think you should discuss the allowance before entering the room. If possible, it would also be a good idea to make it clear beforehand that you absolutely want protection used.
As for showering and brushing his teeth, you probably have no choice but to bring it up once you’re in the room. But if he still refuses to shower or brush his teeth after you ask, I think it’s perfectly fine to leave at that point.
Ideally, you should receive the allowance as soon as you enter the room, but some strange men don’t like paying right away. A man who refuses to pay immediately is a bit unusual, so you can probably expect the relationship to be difficult going forward.
That’s why I think it’s fine to decide that anyone who won’t pay upfront isn’t for you, and to ask for the allowance before proceeding.
However, if he seems like a genuinely good person and someone you’d like to continue seeing, it may be safer not to insist on being paid first.
> He did exactly the opposite of what I wanted.
It sounds like he was doing something that 99% of women would dislike.
> I should have confirmed everything at the beginning and left.
If you ask too many questions, some men may get annoyed, but I do think you should at least confirm the allowance beforehand.
At a dating club, you’re free to end the date and go home if you’re uncomfortable. It’s a free-choice relationship, so you’re free to leave.
However, be careful to tell the man before you leave. Otherwise, he may start saying something ridiculous, like the terms were still being negotiated.
There was even a woman who called the club from the bathroom. I was amazed by how shamelessly the man insisted that negotiations were still ongoing, even though things had clearly broken down completely. But I thought the woman was smart to ask the club, “Is it okay if I leave now?”
Of course, ideally you should be able to end things normally without calling the club. But if the man isn’t acting normally, I think there’s no helping it.
To help prevent other women from going through the same thing, please leave feedback about this man yourself—ideally as soon as possible and exactly as it happened.
That male member has probably done the same thing to other female members as well.
And I’m sure other women have also reported that he’s the worst kind of papa.
I imagine retaliatory feedback like “she wouldn’t put out” is pretty common, so the staff should be able to see through it right away. If they made it all the way to the hotel and she still turned him down, I can only assume the problem was on the man’s side.
You have absolutely no reason to blame yourself.
Please rest assured.
—It’s me
All four of those sound like things a woman would likely dislike. Even one of them would be unpleasant enough, so having all four happen at once made for an especially unfortunate date.
That said, whether you receive negative feedback may also depend on how you reacted during the encounter.
It would probably be best to report it to the club as soon as possible.
You should have clearly said no to anything you didn’t want before having an adult relationship (intimate). Even so, trying to force someone into it is rape and a criminal act.
It makes no sense to enter into an adult relationship (intimate) you don’t want just because you’re worried about feedback. Women can leave feedback too, not just men, so please report the facts of what happened to the club.
