I had my nursing licensure exam today, and I'm having trouble because my papa wants to see me after the exam and has invited me on a hot-springs trip.

If you’ve been blaming the national exam for why you can’t go on a trip and hinting that you’ll go once it’s over, you probably won’t be able to put the matter to rest unless you actually go. When you go on a regular date, I think all you can do is tell him that you still don’t want to travel. Do your best to make him so captivated that he’ll be happy just to go on regular dates with you, even if you can’t take a trip. Marika

Wow, it sounds like he really likes you… How many months have you been neglecting your papa (a male supporter)? Being a first-year nurse sounds terrifying. I remember seeing the first-year nurses getting scolded a lot and bursting into tears. For your first year, you should travel with someone who helps you feel at ease. You’re going to unwind and relieve stress, but if you go with your papa, you’ll end up worrying about him even more and come back exhausted. And I imagine you’ll soon have less and less time to see your papa. Do you still plan to continue seeing him? When you’re already under an incredible amount of stress from work, having to cater to your papa’s selfish demands sounds impossible to me—but that’s up to you. If you decide to turn him down, please do it tactfully.

If you had really won your papa (a male supporter) over in the first place, he wouldn’t be making unreasonable requests. The fact that you couldn’t control the situation well is partly your fault. At this point, I think you’re simply incompatible. Your papa doesn’t take your feelings into consideration, and you don’t want to go along with his wishes. You’re both at fault, and honestly, I don’t think there’s any way to make this work.

You do need to be careful about how you turn him down, but I don’t understand why it has to become, “I’ve put up with things too…” You’ve been going to hotels with him, which I’m sure was very difficult. It’s only natural that now you want to relax and spend time with your close friends and family. Personally, I wish he would be a little more mindful of his position. To the person who posted this: even while studying hard for your national exam, you did a great job dealing with him. From here on, you’ll be starting a new job and facing all kinds of new challenges, so I’m sure things will become even more demanding. I think it’s perfectly fine to only continue seeing someone who understands all of that. Akari

If he wants you to travel with him, why not ask for a higher allowance? If the allowance is enough to satisfy you, maybe you could consider it part of the job and agree to go on the trip.

Honestly, I don’t think you have to meet him after your exams if you don’t want to. It’s perfectly fine to turn him down. It’s your choice to prioritize traveling, your family, or your friends. That said, you should also understand that if you keep declining, it’s only natural that he may move on. He could see someone else in the meantime, and expecting him to keep the relationship going when you’re not meeting him does seem a little selfish. Of course, if he’s the kind of papa (a male supporter) who says, “I only want you! I’m not going anywhere!” then that’s fine too. It’s not exactly about putting up with things, but I do think it’s difficult to maintain the arrangement unless both of you make it work. Still, don’t push yourself too hard.

Circumstances can change from one moment to the next. In particular, it’s only natural for how you spend your time to change significantly when you go from being a student to starting your career. Since that also affects your involvement with the club, I think it would be a good idea to use this as an opportunity to discuss how you’d like to continue your arrangement going forward. If he can’t understand that, then even if you continue seeing each other, that papa (a male supporter) may soon become a burden.

I’m in business, and when you get right down to it, business is basically an exchange of goods and services. If the service you offer exceeds the other person’s expectations, the deal goes through. If it doesn’t, the deal falls through. Since you’re not offering anything tangible—in this case, the trip—you won’t receive anything tangible in return—the money. It’s really that simple. You also face a much higher risk of being cut off. No matter how convincing your excuse is, if you have nothing to offer, I think he’ll probably end things. The same applies from the man’s perspective. If someone is like Ramen Jiro (allowance 2), Sanshiro (allowance 3–4), or Carlos Ghosn (allowance 5), yet wants to go on overnight trips or vacations without increasing the allowance, the woman will cut him off. I usually give 10–20 per pay-per-meeting arrangement. I sometimes give 10 as “pocket money” to friends whom my monthly arrangement partner brings along to dinner dates, but I’ve never once asked a monthly partner to go on a trip or stay overnight. I know she wouldn’t like it. Because I offer a high allowance and never ask women to do anything they dislike, I’ve never been cut off by a woman, nor have I ever been turned down for an adult relationship (intimate) by a Type B woman. That’s because what I offer always exceeds what the woman offers. This may sound harsh, but I think you should calmly compare the value of what you’re offering—your body and so on—with the value of what your papa is offering—the allowance. If you have absolute confidence in what you offer, you can simply say, “I don’t want to go.” If you don’t, I think you should go along on the trip. As for a “good excuse,” for example, if you do your very best to make your papa completely satisfied during your usual adult dates, I think simply saying, “I don’t want to go on the trip,” should be enough. Hope that helps.