> While it is technically a matter of negotiation, some people seem to think that women have to compromise and accept the amount offered by the man.
Sorry I couldn’t join the earlier discussion.
However, even after reading it now, I don’t think anyone actually said that women should compromise and simply accept the offer.
First of all, I assume that the men you’re currently seeing arrived at their current allowance through discussion—that is, it’s an amount you both agreed on. So if you bring up increasing the allowance later, they may feel disappointed or decide to look for someone else instead.
In other words, the beginning is crucial.
If you receive another offer in the future, this is where it matters. Since you seem to be a fairly popular woman, when someone invites you to an adult relationship (intimate), I think it’s perfectly fine to say, “My preference would be 80,000 yen…” (If you want 100,000 yen, you should say 100,000.)
The average amount and what other people receive are irrelevant. You should state the allowance you’re comfortable with.
Of course, if the amount is more than the man is willing to pay, he may walk away. So if asking for 100,000 yen means things stop working out with everyone, you may need to adjust it to 80,000 or 70,000.
Alternatively, you could try different amounts gradually: 60,000 yen with the next offer, 70,000 with the one after that, and 80,000 with the next.
I’d recommend starting by trying 70,000 yen.
Somehow, if you really have that many men interested in you, you seem to have the looks and personality to make 70,000 work.
Then, once it looks like things are going well with one new person, stop seeing one of the people currently paying 50,000.
If you repeat this, eventually everyone will be paying 70,000.
Of course, when you end things, they’ll probably ask why. You could say, “I wanted to ask for 70,000, but I couldn’t bring it up…” Some of them may respond, “I’ll pay 70,000, so let’s continue.”
The point is not for the woman to compromise. You should arrange things so that the men are the ones who compromise.
That depends on how you approach it mentally.
When staying at a luxury hotel, nobody says, “100,000 yen a night is too expensive—wouldn’t 7,000 yen at a business hotel be enough?” And even if someone did, the hotel wouldn’t entertain them.
I’m a mean-spirited cockroach trap—in other words, a sore loser.
Lotteria, it’s not just cockroaches who’ve gotten caught in your trap. A wonderful young female college student like the questioner, who’s capable of genuinely changing herself, has gotten caught too, you know? Give me some credit once in a while, haha.
I love and respect women like the questioner who can transform themselves. I’d really like to meet you.
A student who’s studying for a national certification while doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) for 25 days is bound to become not only beautiful but incredibly capable at work. I’d love to teach her business, have her make an absolute fortune, and then someday have her do mama-katsu and give generous allowances to lots of young men.
Ah, but maybe she shouldn’t be giving money to men...
I have 11 monthly arrangements, and you have eight, questioner? We seem pretty similar, so I’m sure we could get along well♪
P.S.
I became an answerer because all the papa-katsu girls I met were struggling with their low allowances. I didn’t know that Mr. Ghosn’s amount was considered the median, so I had been offering 120,000–140,000 yen from the very beginning. Every woman was delighted, and I simply thought it would be nice if everyone could smile, so I wanted all the girls’ allowances to go up. My staff coordinator did gently caution me from the start, saying, “Mr. Makepeace’s allowances are probably more than double the going rate.” That was actually the first time I’d ever heard the term “going rate.”
I don’t care what other men have in their wallets. I was raised in a culture where people said, “You idiot— even if you’re broke, you still treat your juniors.”
But I wonder. If one of the answerers here found out that his daughter had become a papa-katsu girl and was seeing Mr. Ghosn, I doubt he’d ever say, “If they’ve both agreed to it, it’s fine.” Besides, aren’t the people bound by the going rate everyone except me? Isn’t it unnatural that practically every answerer here gives an allowance of five? There should be some sixes too, shouldn’t there? (笑)
People say I’m obsessed with going rates, but I completely ignore the Universe Club going rate when I hand out allowances. I’m not the one bound by the market rate.
I think the allowance debate is ridiculous, but as you said, it’s simply a matter of discussing it and agreeing on terms that work for both people.
I’m supposedly a notorious “Ghosn,” but that has nothing to do with a woman’s worth. It’s about how I value intimacy itself and relationships with women.
No matter how beautiful she is—even if she’s a celebrity I’ve admired for years—I have no desire to pay more than my usual “Ghosn” rate to date her. That’s why I’m a “Ghosn.”
It’s not that I can’t afford to pay. My assets and income are both well above average.
But when I think, “10? 20? 100 for one intimate encounter?” it just seems incredibly ridiculous to me. At that point, I’d rather go without. I simply don’t place that much value on intimacy or on dating women.
There are men who spend hundreds of thousands or even millions on hostesses or idols like AKB, but I’ve never understood it. People should spend their money however they want, and I don’t criticize them—but from their perspective, I’m probably just as incomprehensible. So we’ll always remain on parallel tracks, and I think that’s fine. How anyone chooses to live is up to them.
If it reached a point where no woman would date me unless I paid 10, 20, or 100, I’d probably quit papa-katsu altogether. I’m sure some people will say I should quit already, haha.
Those who want to pay generously should go ahead and do so, and women who want a lot of allowance should look for someone who pays generously—not someone like me. That’s all there is to it.
I think it’s wonderful that you’re thinking about how to further improve your relationship with the papa (a male supporter) who supports you.
It’s nonsensical to think that receiving a smaller allowance means you’re less fortunate, or that receiving more makes you a winner.
There isn’t a fixed price attached to you, so your worth isn’t determined by the allowance you receive.
I also felt that setting different allowances for different women was rather rude, as though I were putting a price on them, so at one point I stopped varying the allowance from woman to woman.
