Is a pay-per-meeting allowance of 50,000 yen too low?

Even ¥50,000 per meeting is plenty generous. ¥30,000 would be better.

I think the questioner’s description matches the reality of the situation. For an ideal supporter, there’s no real reason to offer more than 50,000 yen in allowance. If you leave it up to him or keep it at 50,000 yen or less, he’s highly likely to continue the arrangement, and the chances of being dropped are almost zero. Once it goes above 50,000 yen, he may still meet you, but he’ll do so thinking that it wouldn’t be a big deal if the arrangement ended. This doesn’t change even if there are women who are black—or even more expensive. Some supporters also have long-term girlfriends or partners, so… balance is important too.

Since the allowance is something agreed upon between two people, I don’t think market rates really matter. This applies to both men and women: you need to be strong enough to stick to your own principles. If you disagree about the allowance, you should simply say, “I’ll pass because it’s different from what I had in mind.” Trying to negotiate a lower amount is just tacky, in my opinion. Even if you succeed, the other person will continue the relationship feeling dissatisfied, so it’s unlikely to last long. The same goes for asking for an increase. As a general rule, people don’t appreciate having previously agreed terms revisited. You’re free to negotiate for an increase, but you should be prepared for the possibility that the relationship may be ended simply because you brought it up.

It’s probably best not to worry too much about the going rate. You shouldn’t force your own value into that standard. If you really have that many men interested, raising your rate isn’t necessary… Otherwise, it starts to sound like you’re basically running your own personal adult-entertainment business. Things may be fine for now, but what will you live on later if you’re not working and the offers start drying up? Also, if you try to negotiate a higher allowance, you’ll probably get dropped, so I’d advise against it. If you do want to raise your rate, start with new offers instead. Some people do offer 30, so you don’t want them to be too shocked… Am I the only one who feels like the person asking this sounds like a professional?

I think it would be best not to negotiate a higher allowance with your current papa, but to ask new people for a little more than usual. People talk about the going rate, but it’s really not set in stone. What matters is simply whether you and the other person can agree on the terms. Marika

I think that amount is pretty standard outside major cities. Even among generous (well-paying) supporters, plenty of papas (male supporters) consider ¥80,000 high. Still, it’s probably best not to negotiate the allowance with a papa you’re already seeing. papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is based on a financial arrangement, but unlike the sex industry, directly hinting at the money side can easily turn a papa off. You might be able to suggest shortening the dates without bringing up whether the allowance is high or low, but many people are sensitive about that, so proceed carefully. In that case, I think it’s better to part ways with a papa whose allowance doesn’t satisfy you and look for a new generous (well-paying) papa on a monthly arrangement, or one who offers a higher allowance. If you can’t find one, all you can do is stick with your current arrangement and earn as much as you can.

You’re active more than 25 days a month… Do you have a regular job? Or are you living solely off papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)? If papa-katsu is your only source of income, it seems like your body wouldn’t be able to keep up unless you negotiated a higher allowance and cut back on the number of days. I’ve never negotiated my allowance, and I don’t think I ever will. The allowance I receive at the beginning inevitably becomes my baseline, so I use that as my 기준. If it doesn’t match what the man is offering, I simply don’t enter into an arrangement with him. On the other hand, if there’s someone I want to see regardless of the allowance, I’ll meet him no matter the amount.

You should probably assume that negotiating a higher allowance with the men you’re currently seeing won’t go well. So if you want a higher allowance, I think it’s better to negotiate from 6+ with new men from the beginning. That said, you can’t just cut ties with everyone you’re currently seeing, so start by saying goodbye to one of the less desirable men. Once you’ve made room in your schedule, you can start looking for new men. But even if the allowance goes up to 6+, that doesn’t mean they’ll be better people. If anything, you’ll probably see more men saying things like, “I’m paying this much, so let’s do it without protection,” or “I want you to see only me.” Be sure to judge them carefully. I’ll keep enjoying pay-per-meeting arrangements at 5, though lol.

I remember writing about the going rates in major metropolitan areas quite a while ago, but let me整理 the situation again. ★For a popular “platinum” woman who receives offers well into the double digits after newly registering: ・10 people offering 5 pay-per-meeting ・5 people offering 7–8 pay-per-meeting ・1–2 people offering 10 or more pay-per-meeting That’s probably what it looks like. These figures are pretty realistic. Outside the major cities, the amounts are probably 1–2 lower, so I think the questioner’s sense of the market is probably correct. I’m the organizer of the “Let’s make allowances of 6 or more the standard” movement. What I ask other papas who like to show off about how much money they have is: ・Your Standard: 6 ・Your Gold: 8 ・Your Platinum: 10 ・Your Black: 12 In regional areas, the amounts might be 1–2 lower. “Your” means “for you, the papa.” I only graduated junior high school and I’m so bad at English that I can barely score in the 100s on the TOEIC, so I’m not even sure whether “Your” is correct… In my own case, I make offers like this: ・My Standard: 10 ・My Gold: 11 ・My Platinum: 13 ・My Black: 15–20 Since the club’s rating and the papa’s personal rating are different, I used the English terms “Your” and “My.” That said, especially since COVID, large numbers of women have entered the adult entertainment, hostess club, lounge, and dating club industries, turning it into a buyer’s market. I think the going rates have dropped dramatically. Men’s wallets have also been hit hard by the pandemic, which has pushed rates down even further. I’m sure there are plenty of women who feel that getting 5 is already lucky. What I’ve been saying all along is: if you spend a lot of money on yourself and show off to everyone about how wealthy you are, then what’s with offering only 5 pay-per-meeting? If you have the money, why not give her more? There’s no doubt that the allowance is decided through discussion between the man and woman. But in practice, the man is holding the steering wheel, so once he says 5, the negotiation is over. The woman has no choice but to “compromise” and accept 5. It’s definitely not an “agreement.” And with that, I’ve just poured gasoline on the fire. Bring it on, haha. Addendum: As an aside, when I asked women in my My Black category, I heard things like: “I’ve been offered 100 pay-per-meeting, but it scared me so much that I ran away.” “I was offered 30 pay-per-meeting, but after meeting a few times, he lowered it to 15.” “I was asked to move in together for a monthly payment of 250, but I turned it down.” “I was picked up and dropped off in a large chauffeur-driven Mercedes—probably a Maybach.” So I think there are quite a few papas who are richer than I am. There are also respondents here who are far wealthier than me. Incidentally, people offering 100 pay-per-meeting are usually proposing unprotected sex, and it almost always comes with the full package of STIs. I’m serious. Papas offering extremely high amounts for unprotected sex are usually private-practice doctors.

Some people jokingly say they get 100,000 yen per meeting, but in reality, I think 50,000 yen per meeting is the most common. Since you do this full-time and seem to have multiple clients lined up, I think you should raise your rate to at least 60,000 yen. ¥250,000 a month is hard on your body. Ask your good papas to have you exclusively, add a heart, and request a raise. Then cut the ones who want a second round, have painfully large and aggressive equipment, or smell bad and pay less than ¥50,000.