On our first date, he suggested an allowance amount by saying, “How about this much?” We met several more times, but then he suddenly messaged me on LINE:

As you said, he knowingly acted in bad faith. Apparently, there are quite a few men who try to reduce the allowance after meeting several times. Personally, I’d rather say goodbye than accept a reduced allowance. It’s unfortunate what happened, but I think you should share the facts with the club as feedback.

I’m Taro, a male member. Mac put me on the spot, so I waited until after 2 a.m. to post this—but what’s with “I’m sure you’ll write something interesting”? That’s a comedian-killing setup, lol. Did I do something to offend him?? I can only think of one possibility, though（笑） Anyway, questioner, you didn’t do anything wrong, but you’re way too weak at arguing. In a situation like that, you’re totally justified in getting seriously angry right then and there. If he starts arguing, a taxi is better than a hotel—you’ve got a third party present. “You said you were worried unless it was a substantial amount, so I told you I’m still grateful even now, remember?” “You said we’d talked about it on LINE, but we didn’t. Should I read out our entire LINE conversation right now?” “What is this? Do you simply want to haggle?” “Isn’t it cowardly to bring this up in a taxi instead of at the hotel? You thought I’d have trouble talking back because there were other people around, didn’t you?” “I accepted your offer because I thought you were a good person, and I even said I was grateful in our LINE conversation the other day. Isn’t this incredibly unfair under the circumstances?” The important thing is that the other person isn’t your real audience—the audience is the taxi driver. If you can get a driver who knows nothing about the situation to hear your side and think, “No matter how you look at it, the male member is the one in the wrong,” then you win. That’s the rule of theatrical public arguing. Chinese people, especially those from southern China, are good at this. Anyway, you lost this round. Take the above as a lesson for next time, but the question is what you’ll do now. Are you going to keep seeing him? Are you going to try negotiating to restore the previous terms? Forget thinking, “What would have been the right thing to do?” There’s no right or wrong in the struggle for survival. The strong simply win. If you happen to land an easy mark who throws money around, you might as well consider yourself lucky and milk him for all he’s worth. It’s a hassle, but if you had no other choice, your options are simply to pressure him until you get what you’re owed—or move on to the next one.

If you’re looking for something stable and ongoing, I think it’s best to leave the terms up to him.

He knew exactly what he was doing, so it sounds like he took advantage of you and then ran, planning to never see you again. That’s awful—I really feel for you. Well, since it was only -2, at least you got away with a reduction rather than losing everything, right? Of course, that doesn’t make it any less infuriating. But apparently some people get hit with -100, so let’s laugh about it together lol. Honestly, let’s just consider it a blessing that you cut ties with someone who was so shameless and desperate to come out ahead. You’re not living your life just to spend your time and energy on something like that, after all lol. Aim for a place in life where you have enough breathing room—and enough distance from the situation—to turn your misfortune into a funny story. You might even be rewarded in the end lol.

That’s a good question. This one’s difficult because I can understand both the man’s and the woman’s feelings. The man’s mistake was not confirming the agreed reduced allowance. That really wasn’t right. I’m also someone who favors reducing the allowance, so it’s hard for me to say this, but you have to bring it up. I suppose there’s also the option of not reducing it and simply blocking her, but that’s a pretty cheap way to end things. From the woman’s perspective, she may think, “Why are you reducing it when I’m such a great woman?” She probably needs some time to decide whether to end the relationship or continue receiving support. Keeping in mind how relationships through dating clubs typically come to an end, I believe the only answer is to talk it out. It’s tough when you actually have to do it, though（笑） Still, if you’re going to reduce the allowance, you have to have that conversation. You’re a man, after all（笑）

That’s a pretty difficult one to answer... I’m not quite sure what you mean by “after meeting several times.” Was your papa a “Mr. Ghosn” (¥50,000 allowance), and after having several adult dates at ¥50,000, did he become “Santa” (¥30,000 allowance) for this latest adult date? Given the LINE messages, I’m sure I’m not the only one who sensed that he was about to become Santa (i.e., reduce the allowance). Did you expect to receive ¥50,000? I’m well known for being extremely hard on stingy papas, but since your papa is clearly hinting at a reduction, it’s difficult to criticize him too harshly... But I see—you replied, “That amount is helping me right now,” didn’t you? In that case, I’m going to declare that papa a genuinely bad one after all. Shall we sentence him to the legendary oil bath from Otokojuku?

They told you they were reducing your allowance. Questioner, you really kept going to see him after that. I would’ve been too embarrassed and said goodbye. A reduction means they’re lowering your value. Don’t throw away your pride. I’m sure you learned a lot from this experience. Forget that loser. Nana Ayase will give you lots of head pats. Go ahead and cry your heart out.

He told you over LINE, “I thought it might be difficult for us to continue seeing each other under the terms you wanted.” You can more or less tell from that message that he intended to reduce the allowance, but it’s unfair that he didn’t state anything specific. And saying he’d give it to you later makes it clear he knew exactly what he was doing. He should have explained everything properly before entering the hotel. If you had known, you could have said, “Our terms don’t match, so I’m going to call it a day.” There really are some awful men out there. If he had given you no allowance at all, the club might have been able to warn him, even if it was your second meeting or later. But in this case, I don’t think the club can do much. You did nothing wrong. That said, try to get better at judging men from now on—and find someone better.

That sounds really tough. What a horrible guy. There, there. If it were a girl I liked standing right in front of me, I’d probably say, “Then I’ll pay you a plus-two today to make up for that minus-two.” But you’re a stranger, so hearing that from me here probably doesn’t mean much. The club staff would probably be at a loss too. In that case, you should go here. You’ll feel so much better afterward: Ikebukuro BREAKROOM They have mannequins there. Pretend one of them is that guy and beat its face in with a metal bat. I go there and do the same whenever I’m carrying stress I can’t tell anyone about.