I’m the person who posted the question at https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/11475.
This content is machine-translated.
It’s not that I look down on professionals. I just think that calling yourself a professional is something you can do once you’ve passed the interview and completed the training, as long as you have a certain level of attractiveness. They generally meet for about two hours. I spend four hours with someone, including time for dinner, so I can’t help feeling that it would be difficult to meet someone for an average allowance. Would things change if I simply completed the training myself? They wouldn’t, right?
If she were average-looking, would I be happy to go on a date with her? I’m not desperately short of money, but I’m not confident that I could genuinely engage with someone I was meeting for an average allowance.
I understand that the allowance amount isn’t the same as her looks or her value, but I feel that I don’t want to meet someone who thinks of me in that way.
Perhaps the possibility of an unsuccessful match comes from the amount being offered, and my desire to avoid receiving a low evaluation—probably stemming from my own lack of confidence. How should I find the right balance?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Maybe you’ve been pampered too much because of your looks.
You get offers because you’re attractive and men have high expectations, but you’re not interesting to talk to, and when it comes to intimacy, you often just lie there and refuse to participate.
If you act high and mighty, thinking, “I’m this beautiful,” men will just think, “What’s with this woman?” What do you think? Am I right?
There are plenty of beautiful women out there, so it doesn’t have to be you.
And stop looking down on soapland workers. You simply don’t know how much blood, sweat, and tears they’ve put into their work.
I don’t know either, though. (Lol)
A woman who has nothing but her looks can’t possibly win.
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I’m only guessing, but I feel it basically comes down to this:
“She seemed pretty ordinary once we became intimate.”
I imagine she’s attractive enough to make men want to become intimate with her. So even if her allowance is higher than expected, they agree and go to a hotel because they want to be with her.
But once they do...
“Hm? It wasn’t bad, but was it really worth this allowance?”
That’s probably what they start thinking.
Then they may tell themselves, “It was only the first time, so maybe she was nervous,” and meet her again.
They want to see her again because she’s attractive. But once they become intimate, they realize it wasn’t just a misunderstanding—she really is just ordinary.
The man may meet her a third time, thinking that surely she’ll show her true potential this time, but if it still feels ordinary, he’ll probably stop seeing her after that.
> Will I change if I just take the training?
I don’t think training alone will be enough. There are probably things you only understand once you actually start working.
At first, you’ll probably be popular and attract plenty of clients. But whether any men come back for repeat dates—that may be where you start to learn the reality of the situation.
When I say the intimacy is ordinary, I mean things like her reactions, how she responds, her attentiveness, conversation, and what feels like genuine enthusiasm—not whether she’s actually serious, but whether she gives that impression.
I think men judge all of those things overall.
If you notice something through that experience, you may be able to change significantly.
That said, if your pride won’t allow you to do anything besides take the training, I think you can still change yourself without actually working, so taking the training may be worth trying.
They may teach you things beyond technique as well, though of course that depends on the instructor.
Hopefully, you’ll get a good one.
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I’m back in fighting mode for the first time in a while.
Sorry, but the questioner’s ignorance is beyond the pale. That’s why I’m in fighting mode.
Ebi-chan is part of a local group of business owners I know. When she was younger—until she was in her early thirties—she worked at soaplands. She moved between several establishments, but they were basically all high-end places. At one shop, the fee was ¥65,000, of which she took home ¥40,000. However, she also had to pay the establishment several thousand yen for towels. Even on days when she had no customers at all, for some reason, that charge didn’t disappear. In other words, she had to pay just for showing up to work.
Ebi-chan was a popular worker, so she never had days without customers. But whenever she worked, she served four or five clients, earning about ¥150,000 a day. You say, “It’s only two hours, so…”—have you got any brains left?
A soapland worker serves a customer at least twice during those two hours. According to Ebi-chan, the record was seven times. If she saw five customers in a day, that meant at least ten times. Don’t you think it’s presumptuous even to compare the two?
papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) has its own rules. The two really can’t be compared in the first place, but the questioner isn’t merely ignorant—you clearly have nothing but contempt for soapland workers and the work they do. The fact that you don’t even realize it makes it all the worse.
If you hadn’t brought up soapland workers, no one would have noticed that your brains had already leaked out. Too bad.
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I have one regular who’s a lot like the questioner.
She’s absolutely gorgeous and unbelievably popular. Because she was constantly spoiled by everyone—including her parents—she has an extremely high opinion of herself and draws the line at:
“This is as far as I’m willing to go.”
- Room dates must be no longer than 90 minutes
- Dinner dates are impossible because someone she knows might see her
- The hotel has to be at least a certain level
- She wants to date like a couple, but doesn’t want to stay overnight
The conditions just keep piling up.
Most papas would probably drop her after meeting once, but I enjoy putting myself through hardship, so I’ve been continuing for over six months while thinking things like:
“I’m going to somehow straighten this idiot out.”
“I’ll accept all of her conditions.”
And I still haven’t given up.
I’m a bit of an oddball, and I see everything as business training, so I’ve decided to treat this as a lesson in taming an extremely demanding client. But normally, most people would drop her immediately.
If you’re asking for an allowance of 100, you need to give your papa something worth more than 100 in return or he won’t continue seeing you.
It’s obvious that although you’re asking for 100 per meeting, you’re only offering services worth around 80 or less. So you may have a hard time finding a regular papa.
That said—if you can take the advice from the many battle-tested respondents here and change yourself, I think you can become a wonderful woman.
Not only as a papa-katsu girl, but you might even be able to catch a charming prince and get married.
The most difficult type to deal with is someone who’s “pretty decent.”
When someone is reasonably well-behaved, it’s hard for them to acknowledge their own flaws, so there’s no path to reform. A delinquent, on the other hand, usually knows deep down that they’re in the wrong, and if they can reflect on their behavior, they have the potential to make a dramatic change for the better.
Good luck!
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Getting that many offers suggests you must be quite attractive, so it’s a shame things don’t last.
A papa won’t want to meet or continue if he doesn’t feel he’s getting enough value for his allowance.
If you don’t want to lower your allowance, you’ll need to focus on increasing your papa’s satisfaction and developing qualities that set you apart from other women.
The biggest difference is made in private—especially in bed. They’re not necessarily looking for someone who seems like a professional, but rather someone who tries hard, responds enthusiastically, and stays physically close.
Make the most of what you’re good at, observe and understand your partner’s preferences, and do things that make him happy. I think that will make you more likely to be chosen for a monthly arrangement.
Make your papa happy.
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See? This is exactly why it’s such a hassle. That’s the part that’s such a hassle.
How should I put it? People who are willing to sacrifice for others, push themselves to the limit, or do things for someone else—that kind of mindset gives a person depth. It makes them attractive.
And professionals often have more of that appeal and commitment than amateurs do. That’s why they seem more attractive to me.
Plus, you get to hear all kinds of interesting stories from them.
That’s why amateur girls who demand a huge allowance come across as creepy to me. They feel like monsters created by the whole dating-club system.
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But if things aren’t lasting at that allowance amount, doesn’t that mean you’re not getting results?
As Kazu says, there are probably people who will stick around, so maybe it’s best to be patient.
Also, if you’re not someone who can genuinely enjoy going on dates with older men and you’re not struggling financially, then what’s the reason—or motivation—for dating them in the first place? You have to wonder why you even signed up.
I think you should take some time to think it over again.
Marika
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From my perspective, I can go to a high-end soapland and have two rounds with a beautiful woman without protection for just ¥60,000, so I honestly wonder why anyone would spend a fortune on dates through Universe. There are some incredibly beautiful women at high-end soaplands these days, especially since COVID. When you compare sex work with Universe, they’re not even in the same league in terms of service or value for money.
So what am I actually looking for from Universe? I think I want to hear each female member’s own story. I want to listen to all kinds of things, get to know them as people, and enjoy spending time together from there.
That’s why, even if she’s beautiful, I won’t keep seeing someone who neglects conversation. She has to be someone I can drink with, enjoy a good meal with, and have a relaxed conversation with.
If you’re calculating it by the hour, you should work at a soapland instead. You’d make far more money there—though I know it’s tough work.
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Questioners who come back with follow-up questions are a favorite among answerers. You’re always welcome.
Please feel free to ask again.
I understand about the professional aspect. If you can’t provide a service you’re confident in, I don’t think you can sustain a high price.
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Why not wait patiently for the chance to meet the right man?
I believe you’re the only one who can resolve your own inner struggles.
Added after reading Mack’s answer: Mack is very kind.
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I’m Saito, the columnist ♪
It’s been a very long time, but I’d like to answer this question.
I think the struggle of not being able to maintain an ongoing arrangement is something everyone experiences—not just you.
You mentioned hourly rates, but when I think in those terms, I’m not sure I’d have the confidence to spend four hours with a dating partner either.
No matter how beautiful or knowledgeable and experienced a woman may be, I feel that her stories still wouldn’t compare with the experiences of a reasonably successful, wealthy business owner. And among those, conversations about spaces and subjects that no one else knows—especially with professionals—can be several times more interesting.
So I would never make an offer to an office worker through a dating club. Not even 100% of the time.
It’s not that I want to haggle down the allowance. I’m looking for “a woman who can satisfy me even at that amount,” so I would never resume the arrangement or meet her again on the condition that the price be lowered.
I think every man pays to meet the people he wants to see through a dating club, so whether the price is reasonable is a separate issue that comes afterward.
> I think calling yourself a professional is something anyone can do as long as they pass the interview, complete the training, and have a certain level of looks.
That’s true. In that case, they need to have something more to offer beyond that.
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