Is she interested, or is this just dinner-only? Please give me your honest, kind opinion.
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B type, around 30
First date ⇒ Nothing happened (as expected). I explained my terms.
Second date ⇒ I invited her somewhere after dinner, but she flatly said, “I can’t today.” We had drinks at a bar and parted before the last train.
Third date ⇒ I didn’t invite her anywhere after dinner. We went to a nearby bar and were about to part before the last train, but first I reconfirmed whether she was open to an adult relationship (intimate). Apparently, she may not have had that kind of intention at all…
Not long afterward, I left the club.
We’ve been able to talk fairly normally up through the third date.
Now we’re going on a fourth date. Since it’s an even-numbered date, I’m going to invite her.
Why does she keep coming back in the first place…?
(I’m the one who invited her, though.)
Do you think things might suddenly turn around after about the tenth date?
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂30s👑Universe male member
> Your next date will be your fourth, so since it’s an even-numbered date, you’re planning to ask her.
Does the fact that it’s an even-numbered date have some significance?
I would think inviting her on the third date is more common than waiting until the fourth.
If you’d rather at least be able to keep meeting her for dinner than invite her and have her disappear completely, it may be better to continue as things are for now. That way, you have a better chance of maintaining the dinner arrangement.
First, I think you should clarify whether you’re okay with never seeing her again.
If you want to take your chances rather than continue meeting for dinner only, then I think you should make your intentions clear next time.
You could try asking how much allowance she expects. That should give you an idea of whether she’s actually willing to move forward.
If she’s someone you’d like to keep seeing even if it’s dinner only, then from the next date onward, don’t bring up an adult relationship at all—just enjoy your dinner dates.
I think that would be perfectly fine too.
Not bringing up an adult relationship may put some pressure on her, but as a prerequisite, I think she needs to be the kind of kind, perceptive woman who can read between the lines.
By the way, as for a sudden turn of events in your favor, I don’t think that happens on its own.
It seems more likely to happen only when something you do or say—or some way you respond—makes the woman suddenly take notice.
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Generally speaking, it’s basically dinner-only.
For women who are type B, my personal rule is to meet for dinner no more than three times.
I’ve heard that even if you enjoy talking with a woman, continuing to meet for dinner only for too long can actually make it less likely to develop into an adult relationship.
That said, if you’re enjoying your meals with her, keep meeting for dinner and see whether it develops into an adult relationship.
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That sounds like so much fun—I’m jealous. There’s nothing more enjoyable than winning over a woman who’s hard to get.
I’m a pretty awful guy whose idea of fun is going on multiple dates with Type A women until they’re the ones to suggest an adult relationship (intimate), but I’d love to go on a date with the girl you’re seeing.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
The fact that she still meets you even after leaving the club, and comes out when you invite her, are both good signs. Maybe you’re just missing that final push. I think she probably decided during the first meeting whether an adult relationship was on the table. I won’t say feelings can never develop after meeting several times, but that’s mostly fantasy. In short, your terms probably don’t align. You could say something like, “I’ve told you what I’m looking for, but I’d be willing to consider your preferences too,” and then ask what she wants.
I once had a woman in her late twenties or early thirties, Type B, in a similar situation. After our fourth meeting, she messaged me saying she wanted a monthly allowance of ¥200,000. I told her I preferred ¥40,000 per meeting, so our terms didn’t match, and we left it there. A few months later, she contacted me again. When we met, she said she wanted ¥70,000 per meeting. I told her again that I preferred ¥40,000, so our terms didn’t match, and we parted ways. Later, she messaged me saying she wanted to meet again, but I declined because meeting for dinner only didn’t feel right to me. That was the end of it.
I realize mentioning specific amounts might cause a stir, but I wanted you to understand the reality of the situation. She probably liked me, but she wasn’t good at negotiating the terms, so things ended up taking this form. Even so, I think she was trying in her own way. I wasn’t trying to haggle her down, either. After meeting several times, there were just things that didn’t quite feel right. She was awkward, but somehow seemed very experienced with men. She was beautiful, so I would have been happy if an adult relationship had been possible, but I felt it would never last, and I also felt bad about that. So I stuck to the lower terms. I thought that if she was willing to go that far and accept them, her determination might resonate with me and I might come to like her. I wonder if that makes sense…
You might find a good woman by making offer after offer, but I also feel that could lead to something rather superficial. I think the real drama lies in getting past the kind of difficult situation you’re facing now. I hope you’ll take your time, try different things, and work through it.
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Your partner is a Type B, right? In that case, try meeting for dinner only two or three times. Then, by the fourth meeting, she may come along if you invite her for an adult relationship. You could also ask her by LINE whether it would be okay to invite her to a hotel this time.
Of course, she’ll only come if she genuinely likes you.
She’s Type B, yet you mentioned the allowance for an adult relationship on the first day?
There are plenty of other women waiting for an offer from you. Try making a new offer once a week—you’re sure to find someone you really like.
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As long as the dates keep happening, I’d say there’s still some chance lol.
If she found it painful, I don’t think she’d keep seeing you.
If she’s already turned you down several times, maybe just accept for now that this is dinner only (no intimacy) and continue dating her with that in mind.
You might even want to be relaxed enough to think, “Huh? You’re not asking me today? Not today either?” lol
The real question is whether you still enjoy spending time with her.
That probably depends on you, too.
You could try Mr. Flag’s suggestion lol, but even if her expression clouds over and she turns serious, do your best to switch gears so you can keep things fun and enjoy your drinks together haha.
Personally, I don’t think it sounds like a bad relationship—though I don’t know all the details lol.
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I suspect she’s taking you for granted.
If you enjoy simply having meals and talking together, it may be worth continuing. You probably need to be open-minded enough to think, “Only God knows whether any chemistry will develop.”
This may sound a little contradictory, but if you absolutely want things to become intimate, you’ll have to shift the situation into high gear yourself. A B-type girl once told me, “Stop overthinking it and just push her down!” Trying it without getting caught might be one option.
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“Over here, over here!” Pretend you’re heading to a bar, then arrive in front of a love hotel.
“Alright, we’re here. Let’s go in,” you say. Even if she says, “This is a love hotel,” insist, “It’s a bar.”
A resigned, wry smile → go for it
A cloudy, stone-faced expression → don’t
She’s the kind of girl who thinks she can take advantage of you, right? You’ve got to push a little more forcefully than this.
If she goes along with it, you can at least do an impression of a bartender in the room.
In the past, I used this approach to get a Type B woman into a hotel on our sixth to eighth date. Unfortunately, our chemistry once we got there was absolutely terrible.
This time, I was the one who ended up giving a wry smile.
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I haven’t actually met or spoken with the woman in question, so take this with a grain of salt, but I suspect she may be misrepresenting her relationship type（笑）.
I’ve talked with the woman I’m currently seeing about an adult relationship (intimate). She said that she could tell from the very first meeting whether she was comfortable with it or not.
That said, if you’ve asked her out several times and she keeps saying no, I think that means it’s simply a “no!”
There are still plenty of women at relationship clubs waiting for offers. I think giving someone else a chance would benefit both you and the club.
That’s just my personal opinion, based on my own experience.
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Judging by the fact that she’s left the site, she may have just signed up to try it out, and if she gets a free meal out of it, that’s lucky for her—effectively an adult relationship (intimate). (90% chance.)
After that, it depends on what you want. If you enjoy spending time with her even if it’s dinner only (no intimacy), then just continue on that basis. The chance of things shifting is 33%—provided you’ve continued to have fun together (this is important) more than ten times.
P.S.
I can understand Taro’s point. I’ve had people who paid 30 just for dinner, and I’ve also paid 50 to someone asking for 8 or 10, and even to a virgin. Conversely, there have been times when I only paid 30 for an adult relationship (intimate).
If you want it to continue, both sides need to find terms they can agree on.
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I think it’s fine to show that you’re not desperate.
If she’s genuinely a B-type, she’ll invite you herself.
That way, once things become an adult relationship (intimate), you’ll also learn whether she wants that every time or prefers to have dinner a few times in between.
If she wants an adult relationship every time, it’ll happen on the first or second date. If she prefers three or four dinner dates first, she’ll usually invite you herself by the fourth or fifth date—by suggesting the next time or a specific future date. It’s probably best not to expect her to suggest it on the same day.
You’ll also get a sense of each woman’s preferred pace and frequency, so choosing not to make the invitation yourself is another option.
—Paper Airplane
Also, if you do become intimate, but you’re looking for a C-type woman who wants that every time, while she’s more of an A-type who only wants it occasionally, then the two of you are already mismatched.
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