What’s with men who say, “We’re splitting the bill for dinner today,” even as a joke? Do they actually think it’s funny?
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Yesterday, this 71-year-old disgusting old man said that to me, and it really pissed me off. He should be grateful that a 20-year-old like me even agreed to sit across from him.
He also said, “You’re lucky you get to eat delicious food and receive an allowance. I want to do this too.” Do people like this think of the allowance as pocket money rather than a large sum?
Spending four hours having dinner with an ugly old man 50 years older than me for 10,000 yen is obviously not a good deal at all.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
That sounds like it was really tough…
But going forward, people may still say things like, “You’re lucky—you get to make money so easily.” Some tactless papa (male supporters) do say things like that.
If you can’t just laugh it off, I think it’s best to look sad and say something vaguely meaningful like, “But you wouldn’t want to have dinner with a woman 50 years older than you just because you wanted the money, would you, Mr. ●●?”
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Because men are the ones paying, they often assume they have priority.
So if they can’t get a Type B woman to go to a hotel, they make a fuss about her being the problem and act as if the entire situation is her fault.
I think this comes from the old belief that “the customer is always right”—that the person paying should never be turned down.
They also don’t realize how rude their words and behavior toward the other person are. At that age, there probably isn’t anyone left to teach them otherwise, so please leave them a bad review.
Once a man accumulates enough negative reviews, he’ll be forcibly removed from the club. If each woman stops putting up with this and evaluates her partner properly, I think it will lead to more meaningful relationships.
Of course, not all men are like that. Those men probably have wonderful relationships without receiving bad reviews from women.
> “Spending four hours having dinner for ¥10,000 is obviously not a good deal at all.”
Originally, the idea is that you should keep four hours free—roughly two hours plus another two hours.
If dinner ended after one hour, then anything after that would be free dating, with an allowance negotiated separately. If you felt you wouldn’t be seeing him again, and he invited you somewhere else afterward—like for tea or drinks—I think it would be perfectly fine to say something like:
“I’d like ¥50,000 for just having tea.”
If he gave you ¥50,000, you probably wouldn’t be upset, and you might even start to see him as a decent man.
Though usually, he’ll probably say something like, “Why would I pay that much when we’re not even going to a hotel?” At that point, you can simply end the date.
However, if he seems like someone you might continue seeing, it’s better not to use this approach.
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Are you Type A or Type B?
Even if you’re planning to end things with this papa, if you want to receive an allowance without an adult relationship, you’ll need to be mentally tough enough to let comments like that roll off your back. Otherwise, I feel like continuing with papa-katsu will be difficult.
You also need to know how to steer the conversation toward ending things,
while making him feel that you’re worth the allowance, and handle it smoothly.
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Forgive me, but the phrase “fucking old geezer” makes it hard for me to immediately believe the questioner’s side of the story. It’s not possible that the words “fucking old geezer” were written on your forehead, is it? Surely not.
According to the esteemed Yoko Aki, the ratio of good things to bad things in life is already determined: 51 to 49, meaning the good slightly outweighs the bad.
You may find this hard to believe, but this incident was actually a valuable experience for you. By dealing with that fucking old geezer, you earned some good karma—and you probably won’t have to deal with him again. So, good for you.
Still, splitting the bill? That’s a pretty harsh joke, senpai!
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To him, it was probably just a joke.
Think of it as a tasteless joke, laugh it off, and let it go.
That said, if you also view papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) as just an easy, well-paying side job, you’re probably better off quitting.
Sure, on this Q&A site, ¥10,000 for two hours of dinner only (no intimacy) has become the norm, but you sound like you’d complain even if you were offered ¥5,000 for a two-hour dinner.
I do feel that giving someone a negative rating when they haven’t violated any rules is a bit unfair, though…
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Give them the lowest rating and report to the branch that they said this to you.
I guess some people just don’t get it unless you tell them, “If we’re splitting the bill, I’ll take my allowance and leave right away.”
I’m really sorry you had such a bad experience. I hope your next offer is from a good man.
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You did your best.
If it was your first arranged date, just send negative feedback and move on. If it was a date after the second one, though, you should work on getting better at judging people.
Seriously, you did your best.
Marika
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Even Mr. Ghosn (with an allowance of ¥50,000 or less) starts to look cute…
There’s always someone worse, I guess.
And apparently there are old bastards who offer just ¥5,000 for four hours…
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That really is a lousy joke—there’s nothing funny about it.
If the allowance is just 10,000 yen for dinner only, they should at least keep it to around two hours.
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Your anger is completely justified.
They probably don’t even realize how rude their remarks were.
You must be exhausted, questioner.
It really isn’t worth it.
Akari
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