I feel like dealing with men can be incredibly stressful, but do men really not notice at all when women are struggling? (Nightlife work, sex work, papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan))

You might notice if you’d been seeing her for years and she suddenly became extremely thin, but if you only saw her as she is now, you’d probably just assume she’s someone who doesn’t gain weight no matter how much she eats. She’s hiding it too, isn’t she? So in the end, does she want you to notice or not? Attention seekers are such a hassle. Apparently, a caring papa (a male supporter) will come along and save her, so she should just wait until then. Marika

I’m Fuu, a columnist. If it’s making you mentally unwell, wouldn’t it be better to quit and think of another way to make money? I’m grateful to my monthly supporters for continuing to see me—I imagine it must be a lot for them—but I haven’t felt mentally unwell, and I’ve been doing this for over a year. If I ever feel like I’m starting to struggle, I’ll end things.

I think it starts to take a toll when you make it your main source of income. I can’t speak for hostess clubs, but even women who work in the adult entertainment industry can stay mentally healthy when they treat it like a part-time job while in college. Once it becomes their full-time job, though, they almost certainly start to struggle. The same goes for papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). Women who have a main job but earn a low salary and just want a little extra support tend to be more emotionally healthy.

If you don’t like it, you can always quit. It’s not worth doing if it’s making you mentally unwell.

I’m surprised that so many people struggle with eating disorders. I don’t find interacting with men stressful, so I’m not emotionally unwell. Maybe I’m simply lucky, or maybe I feel that way because I haven’t had much experience. There are probably many women who don’t want others getting too deeply involved in their lives. Even if someone with an eating disorder is living an ordinary life around us, we probably wouldn’t bring it up. I think most people would rather not have it mentioned. You may be fortunate to have someone you can talk to and say, “I was struggling.” It breaks my heart to think that some people reading this Q&A may have no one they can tell. I hope there’s someone nearby they can talk to.

I think the main reason is that women generally keep it hidden, so men don’t know it happens—and therefore don’t notice. When someone is trying to hide something, they usually don’t want others prying into it.

I haven’t noticed anything at all. If anything, I get the impression that the women I’m seeing are happy to come meet me. And I don’t think it’s an eating disorder, either. We often talk about dieting, so I always remind them to focus on balance and not lose too much weight.

I’m extremely considerate. I imagine they probably don’t want to meet me. So I make sure I’m in perfect shape before meeting the women. My regulars often tell me, “You care more about your appearance than the girls do!” I also give them the maximum allowance I can. Even the lowest is 10k or more. This month (January), I’ve made all my regular dates dinner-only, with no adult relationship, while still giving them the allowance for an adult date. They probably wouldn’t want to spend the beginning of the new year with an old man. ※Though I’ll be doing plenty of adult dates starting tomorrow. However, I didn’t even know about eating disorders until I saw this Q&A, and I had never paid attention to how my regulars were doing. I’m truly sorry. From now on, I’ll make sure to assess things properly. There’s always more to learn. P.S. Mack, I agree with you. When one of my regulars—including my ace—is in trouble, I get involved in her life and try to help however I can. I’ve paid for HPV 9-valent vaccines for more than ten women. Recently, I’ve also started seriously supporting the next potential ace’s business. Startups are especially my area of expertise. But on this Q&A site, people have been throwing stones from a distance, saying things like, “You’re just interfering where you’re not wanted.” I suppose it’s because they dislike everything about me, though. lol P.S. 2 If I write “Mack,” Mr. Maezawa will get mad at me—but Mack it is. I’ve trained myself so much that I’ve become like a cyborg, and at this point even I don’t know who I am anymore. I’ll swallow anything if it helps me achieve my goals, and after years of that, I’ve become so mentally tough that I’m practically a robot who feels almost no stress. I’ve never relied on anyone, so I don’t know how to let someone take care of me. That makes me a boring man who doesn’t stir up anyone’s maternal instincts. Maybe I’ll try relying on Mack. lol