Tips
Jan 30, 2022 13:14
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I strongly agree with that way of thinking.
Lately, there have been so many questions of this kind that I feel like I keep seeing the same sorts of answers.
Anyway, here’s my question: When the allowance doesn’t work for you, what’s the best way to turn someone down while keeping things as cordial as possible?
I’d also love to hear any memorable rejection lines that stuck with you when someone turned you down.
*Please refrain from answering, Make-Otoko-san and Mac-san.*
I look forward to your responses.
6 answers
Other
I also believe the allowance should be decided by the people involved, based on what they both agree to, so it’s not really for others to comment on.
Of course, as a woman, I’m always happy when it’s more generous, but I think dating clubs are also about gaining experiences and learning from different values—not just the money.
I’ve never turned anyone down, so I’m sorry, but I can’t answer your question.
It’s sad to see you say, “Please refrain from answering.”
Please don’t say that. There are people who look forward to answers from Mac and Make-Otoko. Isn’t the ability to hear all kinds of opinions what makes this site valuable?
Other
Since you’re turning them down anyway, is it really a problem if things get a little awkward? Are you worried about receiving bad feedback?
I think it’s perfectly fine to say, “I’m sorry, but I was hoping for ○, so I’ll have to decline,” and then write in the feedback, “I declined because we couldn’t agree on the allowance.”
Another option is to mark them as Type B and simply not go on any more dates after the second one.
Marika
Also, if you don’t like an answer, just skip over it yourself. It’s unpleasant to have the people answering restricted.
🏅 パパ活歴7年目突入
彼氏/既婚/他パパ/セフレOK/全力応援
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
You’re a woman, right?
In my case, Fuu, I bring up the terms at the end of dinner. If they don’t meet my allowance requirements, I simply say:
“Well, that’s unfortunate, but I think we’ll have to call it a day here. Thank you very much for taking the time to meet with me.”
Then we part ways.
I’ve done this with several people in the past, and it’s never caused any particular trouble. Since it may be difficult for a woman to say no directly, I suppose I just make a point of being the one to turn them down.
A papa (male supporter) with little experience might try to negotiate, though. Set a firm minimum that you’re not willing to compromise on, and feel free to clearly decline anything below that.
Also, refusing answers from specific people by name comes across as unpleasant, so why not stop doing that? Wouldn’t comments like “Please never ask another question here” make you feel bad?
A~Dまで一通りオファーの経験あり、多くても月1程度でLINEはスケジュール調整のみ、スマートに無理なく長期交際するスタイルです。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
The members answering questions don’t change, so similar questions will probably receive similar answers.
I feel the same way—that the terms should be decided between the two people involved.
I’ve made offers to more than 30 women so far, and based on that experience, I’ve concluded that it isn’t right to offer different allowances depending on the woman.
To answer your question honestly, no matter how a woman turns a man down, it still causes some emotional turbulence for him.
Whether he lets that show is up to the man.
Since these are once-in-a-lifetime encounters for me, I simply try to part ways in a way that avoids making either of us feel uncomfortable at the time. I don’t want her to look back afterward and think, “That was the worst date ever.”
Other
I wouldn’t offer C-type arrangements. Choose B-type instead, and if there’s a woman you’d like to go to a hotel with, you can ask her preferences later over LINE.
Even if you feel her rate is too high, just say “Understood” and keep replying vaguely without setting a date for the hotel. She’ll probably fade out eventually.
Additional note:
Sorry—I just looked at it in a browser and realized you’re a woman. In that case, I think the same approach applies: choose B rather than C, and keep in touch over LINE to avoid making things awkward. What do you think?
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
Yes, I don’t think there’s really such a thing as a going rate.
If our expectations don’t match, we simply agree that it isn’t going to work and part ways. That’s always seemed normal to me. When you say things might get unpleasant, do you mean the man might try to haggle or lecture you?
If that’s what you mean, I think people like that will do it no matter what the woman says.
Since I part ways with them when our expectations don’t match, I’ve never had anyone give me a rejection line.
By the way, saying, “I don’t want an answer from [Name],” comes across as rather rude.