I received a goodbye message from someone I had been seeing once a month for a year, saying that she can’t see me anymore. When I asked why, she said she had found someone better…
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Looking at past questions, I’m wondering if the once-a-month frequency was the reason. (I honestly can’t think of any other reason.)
Since this is a papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) relationship, I was prepared for it to end sooner or later. But now that I really can’t see her anymore, I’ve realized that she meant more to me than I had expected.
I just can’t give up. Has anyone ever managed to convince someone to stay after being told it was over?
I’m considering telling her that I’d like to see her again, and that I’d increase the frequency of our meetings—or her allowance—even though it may be a long shot. (It doesn’t seem like she has blocked me.)
You’re realizing it a little late… Seeing you once a month means you’re not that important to her.
If she really liked you, she’d be meeting you at least once a week.
And aside from the allowance, if it’s too low, there’s no point in meeting you from her perspective, right?
Look for someone else. You’ve learned from this experience, so if you offer a higher allowance or increase the frequency, she’ll probably agree to see you.
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If you’ve truly found someone better, then it’s best for both of you to end things now.
If you keep pushing, she’ll see you as a nuisance and dislike you even more.
You should make an offer to someone else. You’ll realize that thinking there was no woman better than her was simply your own mistaken assumption.
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If she was doing papa-katsu because she needed money, then I think that year was just a temporary arrangement for her.
Even if she found another papa (a male supporter), it probably wouldn’t have ended if you’d given her a generous allowance once a month.
I think you were satisfied with the happiness and comfort you got once a month, but that didn’t align with what she was looking for.
Akari
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
I understand how you feel, but I don’t think there’s much hope.
You’re assuming that how often you meet is the only reason, but that may not be the case.
Give up on her, send out plenty of offers, and find someone better.
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If things have continued on a monthly basis for a year, I don’t think that’s the reason.
You should assume that a better papa (male supporter) has come along.
It could be because of his terms, or maybe he’s a handsome older man.
If you don’t want to break things off, I think your best bet is to propose increasing the allowance, assuming she’s found a papa with better terms.
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It’s not about meeting more often—the only option is to ask for a higher allowance. Try telling him you’d like an increase.
Normally, she would just leave you on read without saying anything, so the fact that she went out of her way to contact you may mean she’s thinking, “I might still continue seeing you if you increase the allowance.” Don’t give up—give it a try.
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Maybe you should have noticed and asked her before she had to say it, but it’s too late now. Since she was the one who ended things, she probably won’t come back.
Marika
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If you want to try, even knowing it may not work, then go for it. There’s no benefit to putting on a cool act in a situation like this.
What you should be thinking about is what to write and when to send it.
Speaking from my own experience—I understood all that and tried over and over—but never succeeded.
In the first place, most people don’t even send a goodbye message on LINE. The fact that someone sends one probably means they’ve made up their mind。。
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I’ve never tried to stop one from leaving. Honestly, I don’t see the point. Men will move on without hesitation if they find someone better, so it goes both ways.
She has her own reasons, so don’t pry too deeply. At the very least, be able to say, “Thank you for spending time with me.”
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It’s not about how often you meet—it’s because I started feeling like meeting was a hassle…
When I stop reaching out…
Paper Airplane
If it’s a good relationship, there’s no need to end it, especially if you only meet once a month. Wanting to end it means it was basically compensation for putting up with it…
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It doesn’t look very promising, but as you said, increasing the allowance or frequency might convince her to meet you again.
If you haven’t been blocked, why not try contacting her once?
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