I went on several dates with a woman I met through this club. We hit it off, had a wonderful time in bed, and continued exchanging messages on LINE regularly—but at some point, she blocked me and disappeared without a word.
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Of all the women I’ve met through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)—in fact, of all the women I’ve ever known—I liked her more than anyone and thought she was truly wonderful, so I’m extremely depressed. I fully understand that I must have done something wrong, but since she cut off contact so suddenly, I don’t know what I should be more careful about going forward.
I’ve been browsing the club, trying to find another wonderful woman so I can forget about her, but she still keeps popping into my mind, making it difficult to approach anyone new. Even so, is the only way to heal the emotional wounds left by papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) to start another papa-katsu relationship?
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂Not stated👑Universe male member
I’m columnist Fuu.
Since the women we date are young, they experience far more life changes than we do—getting a boyfriend, changing jobs, getting married, and so on. There are always plenty of potential reasons a relationship might end.
Or, as other respondents have mentioned, the better she is, the more likely it is that other papas will become rivals.
I understand how you feel, but I take the risk of eventually parting ways with a good woman into account. To avoid showing jealousy or other unbecoming emotions, I date several good women at the same time.
My recommendation is to maintain relationships with at least two good women at all times, so that “some kind of problem” doesn’t become such a big issue in the first place. That’s quite possible through a dating club.
When you’re seeing only one person, it’s easy to become too attached.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
I’ve had a similar experience myself.
Even when the sex was good and we got along well in conversation, I think one reason things still fell apart was that I lost out in the allowance competition.
If you can afford to increase the allowance, that’s one option. But once she cuts things off, the decision has usually already been made, and you’ve often been blocked on LINE by then.
If there’s a woman you really want to continue seeing, it might be a good idea to increase the allowance in advance.
In my case, I gradually got over it after making offers to several other women.
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I’ve never been broken up with this way, so I don’t know what caused it. But I think you have to do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) knowing that something like this could happen.
In the end, all you can control is your own actions—you can’t completely control what the other person does, lol.
That’s really the only advice I can give.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here with an answer.
> “So does that mean my only option is to find a new papa-katsu partner?”
As they say, spilled water cannot be returned to the bowl.
You’re very unlikely to get back together with that woman, so I think your options are either to find someone else or quit papa-katsu altogether.
> “I don’t even know what I should be careful about going forward.”
If you don’t know, the most effective solution is to increase her allowance.
You may be thinking, “But some people on the Q&A site say things work out with 5, while others succeed with 3, right?”
That’s where a major misunderstanding comes in.
The people who are doing well have remarkable qualities that they haven’t written about. They have that much appeal.
But you failed this time—and you don’t even know why.
The solution is to increase the allowance.
For example, if a man usually gives an allowance of 5, even behavior the woman would normally find unacceptable might be forgiven if she were receiving 20. She might even tell you what you’re doing wrong if you ask her.
That’s all possible because the allowance is generous.
There’s no point criticizing someone who offers a low allowance. It’s quicker to end things.
I know increasing the allowance directly affects your wallet, so it may be difficult. But first, ask the woman how much she wants, then try offering her that amount plus 1.
If she doesn’t name a specific amount, try starting with 10 and see how things go.
Of course, increasing the allowance alone won’t always make things work. So while offering more, you should also work on improving other aspects of yourself.
When the allowance is generous, she’ll often be more willing to tell you what’s wrong if you ask.
“I’m a woman who exists only in your memories.
I was the phantom of youth that lived in your boyhood heart.”
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I’m Flagmaker, a columnist.
Let me give the kinder answer.
Sometimes, when the relationship is too good, the woman finds that she “can’t keep it purely about the money.”
At the same time, she knows there’s no real prospect of the relationship with her papa developing further. She doesn’t want to be left feeling conflicted, so she decides it’s better to say goodbye and move on with a clear head.
I’ve been cut off plenty of times myself, but I’ve also had experiences like this.
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I have one absolute ace.
Even though I give her a generous allowance, we have an adult relationship (intimate) less than once a month on average, and there are months when we don’t meet at all.
I believe I’m playing the perfect papa in my own way, but I still think it’s possible for her to dump me. After all, there are monster papas out there who casually hand over hundreds of millions of yen.
Getting dumped by my ace would be unavoidable, but to minimize the shock if it happens, I have two monthly-arrangement partners who are just as valuable as my ace. Ideally, I’d like to have one more, so I’m currently looking.
I recommend that you date at least two favorites. I don’t think there’s any other way to protect yourself.
Very few people are capable of recognizing their own shortcomings, so I feel the only option is to date multiple women.
Also, I don’t think you should neglect your “preparation.”
Not a single woman wants to be intimate with an overweight, hairy old man with bad breath.
Pay meticulous attention to your personal hygiene and appearance—almost to an excessive degree.
Do you scout out the date location beforehand?
Even with a monthly-arrangement partner, I always check out any place I’m visiting for the first time in advance. I don’t want to make even one mistake.
Win before the battle begins.
Make sure victory is secured before heading into the date. You may still lose sometimes, but simply winging it is out of the question—and disrespectful to the woman.
We aren’t lovers or boyfriends. We’re “papas.”
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I thought so too.
And you really should realize what a seriously deluded guy you are.
They’re not going to tell you what you did wrong, so you’ll just repeat the same thing again.
Paper Airplane
> I liked her so much that I thought she was the most wonderful person ever.
And yet she blocked you?
You’re unbelievably stupid… It’s honestly astonishing how much of the problem lies with you, the questioner…
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