Does saying “I want money I can spend freely” sound too money-focused or insufficient as a reason for wanting support?
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After getting married, my husband started managing my salary as well, and if he decides something is too extravagant, I’m not allowed to buy it. (I was shocked when he turned down things like buying clothes at a department store or replacing an appliance.) He tells me that if there’s something I want or something I’d like to do, I should earn the money through a side job, use my savings from before I was married, or invest to create the funds. Since he doesn’t seem likely to say anything about additional income, I’m considering signing up. I’d like to receive support while enjoying a pseudo-romantic relationship, without making it feel too much like everyday life. How can I explain this in a classy way?
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
Personally, I wouldn’t worry about something like that. How you use your allowance has nothing to do with me.
I don’t mind even if someone lies to me, but the one who suffers from lying is the person who told the lie. If you’re going to be in a relationship while feeling that way, wouldn’t it be hard to enjoy it?
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I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s Office, and I’ll answer as well.
I imagine they’ll ask you why during the interview, and men may ask you too, but whatever your reason is, most people already understand that you registered because you want money.
So I don’t think you need to overthink it.
You could simply say, “Papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) seems to be popular, so I registered because I was curious.” That should be fine.
They’ll probably respond with something like:
“Curious? What do you mean?”
“I heard you could get paid.”
“Ah, I see.”
That’s probably how the conversation will go.
However, during the interview, if you only say you’re “curious,” the staff might wonder whether you’re not really serious.
If you add something like, “I’d like to buy clothes,” they may feel reassured.
During the interview, the staff are concerned about whether you’re only looking to get paid for having meals. Of course, dinner only (no intimacy) is fine, but there aren’t many men who are looking for that, so it’s something they pay attention to.
As for married women, I got the impression that many of them said things like:
“My husband and I aren’t intimate anymore, so I want to be seen as a woman again. And it’s amazing that I can enjoy myself while also making money.”
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Since it’s a very ordinary reason, it doesn’t come across as lacking or overly money-focused. However, saying that you have no money of your own to spend because of an emotionally abusive husband feels a little too personal and domestic.
So while “I want some money I can spend freely” is fine, I think the detailed explanation is unnecessary.
That said, as Marika mentioned, I feel like your spouse might get suspicious if you bought clothes or home appliances.
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Many male members, including Joe, probably aren’t attracted to profiles where money is the only thing that comes across. But that’s just my hunch, so don’t worry about it too much.
With that in mind, I’d suggest:
1. Briefly explain why you decided to register.
2. Write about your preferences, what you’re looking for in a partner, and anything else you’d like to share.
Mentioning your hobbies and things you’d like to enjoy together might make you seem more appealing—or at least spark their interest. And if you add just a hint of something sexy to your wording, or subtly suggest it, you’ll get the men’s hearts—and other things—swelling with excitement. Men are silly like that, haha. They’re pretty easy, right?
I hope you find a wonderful arrangement.
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No one will specifically ask what you’re using the money for, so I think any reason is fine—but won’t your husband get suspicious if your finances suddenly improve?
Please think it through carefully before getting involved.
Marika
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Just go ahead and write that your husband is emotionally abusive. People will probably sympathize with you.
Honestly, you’d be better off divorcing him, but if your circumstances don’t allow it, getting into papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is also an option.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
That reason doesn’t make you come across as money-hungry.
I think you should just say it exactly as it is.
By the way, at the interview, it’s probably more accurate to think of them as assessing your attitude toward money rather than whether you seem money-hungry.
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The moment I find out he’s married, I won’t make him an offer, and I think many male members avoid married women as well.
Wanting some spending money
That’s something all female members want, so it doesn’t really stand out to me. I think it’s better to give another reason.
For example, saying you want to attend graduate school while working full-time.
Older guys love women who are working hard, even though they don’t work hard themselves (￣▽￣;)
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