I’d like to hear a wide range of opinions, but I’d especially appreciate answers from married people.
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When a woman you meet asks about your family, do you answer honestly?
In my case, I don’t want to lie, so I answer honestly when asked.
However, when I do, it feels as though her interest suddenly fades, and from that moment on, I sense a distance between us.
To be honest, part of me thinks, “Why did you even ask…?”
Sometimes I wonder whether we’d both have a better time if I simply accepted it as part of the arrangement and lied by saying I’m divorced.
In the first place, I wish they would understand that if we’re meeting through a club, it should already be obvious that I’m married…
Incidentally, people often assume I’m in my early thirties.
Inside, I’m as dark as tar, but on the outside, I have the kind of appearance that makes people I’ve just met feel almost no sense of wariness.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂40s👑Universe male member
I’m Nana Ayase ♡
I don’t care whether a man is married or single.
Actually, I can’t help wondering: Why hasn’t he been able to get married? Is there something wrong with him? That thought crosses my mind.
Lying will only make things harder, so it’s better not to tell big lies. Just soften the wording a little ♡
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Do you think that just because I look young, I’m expecting a romantic relationship or marriage?
When a woman asks about your family life, I think it’s usually because she’s trying to figure out things like whether there are restrictions on when it’s okay to contact you, what days and times you’re available to meet, what you’re like around New Year’s and holidays, and whether giving you something would be a nuisance.
At least, that’s how I am.
Please don’t hide behind your own overconfidence and assumptions. If you don’t tell me properly, I have no way of knowing how to be considerate, and that puts me in a difficult position.
Marika
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I’m Date ◎ Yume, a male member.
I’m upfront about being married. The women I see seem reassured by that, as if it’s only natural.
They say I don’t look like I’m in my 30s or 40s—let alone that a romantic relationship with me would be possible (lol).
But we’re really close! (lol)
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I never tell them that I’m also giving allowances to other women.
Other than that, I generally answer whatever they ask. I tell them that I live alone and that I have a long-distance girlfriend.
I also tell my girlfriend that I have multiple papa-katsu partners.
I don’t ask them anything in particular myself. I don’t care if they have other papas.
That said, I make sure to tell every woman clearly:
“To me, business comes first. A man’s worth is ultimately measured by how much he earns. I want you to pursue your own dreams and work hard for them, too.”
It’s a little sly, but saying this helps me keep a certain distance from them.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
Personally, I’d rather be honest than lie and end up hurting a woman when she finds out later.
If you’re worried women might be put off when they learn you’re married, why not state that in your profile?
If someone turns you down because of it, I think it’s better to find out before meeting her.
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That might indeed be a little devious, lol.
But what are you actually trying to get out of telling a lie like that? If things get exciting because of a lie, wouldn’t you end up feeling deflated afterward?
Besides, women aren’t that simple either, lol. If anything, try going all out and see if you can roll the questioner in your tar pit. Women can be tough too, haha.
I’d lose, so I try to avoid unnecessary mind games whenever possible, lol.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
I’m actually the opposite. At first, I didn’t talk much about my family, or I’d be vague about it. I ended up hurting some women that way, and I regretted it. Besides, I got tired of lying whenever they asked, “What do you do on your days off?”
I used to dodge the question by saying, “I go running in the park or read books,” but now I answer honestly: “I go to the park with my daughter and play tag, or read picture books at the library.”
I deliberately make them lose interest in me. I do it on purpose. Then I see whether I can win them over anyway.
That’s what I believe a fair and honest contest is.
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I’m BB7.
Age may also play a role. I’m already at an age where women don’t see me as marriage material, so they don’t get put off.
If anything, I often feel that I’m viewed through the reverse kind of bias—as someone who probably isn’t weird because he’s married, and who’s just right for having a transactional relationship and enjoying ourselves.
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I’ll be honest.
I tell them that I’ve been married several times, that I have quite a few girlfriends I’ve known for years, and how I ended up joining the club… (Though I never talk about the women from the club.)
Women often tell me things like, “You’re used to dealing with women,” “I feel comfortable around you,” and “You must be really popular.” It gives them a sense of security, and the distance between us closes quickly.
Why do you think women are pulling away from you so suddenly? Are you looking for a romantic partner rather than a club arrangement?
I had assumed women might actually feel more at ease with married men, since there’s less worry that they’ll come on too strong or overstep…
—Kamihikōki
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