The papa I was supposed to meet this weekend said we should reschedule because COVID cases are increasing, and I’m panicking because even if I deposit all the cash I have into my account, I still probably won’t be able to pay my credit card bill… I’m short by about ¥10,000.
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① Ask the papa if we could still meet after all
② Ask if he could pay me ¥10,000 in advance, deducting it from my allowance next time
③ Update my profile and photos to attract a new offer before the payment deadline
④ Look for a one-off job or a trial shift
⑤ Switch to revolving payments
Which option seems the most realistic? Would asking about ① or ② leave a bad impression from the male member’s perspective…?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Maezawa from Shachoshitsu here.
① Since the issue is that you can’t meet because of COVID, I think this may be difficult.
② I think it depends on the relationship you’ve had so far.
If you’ve met dozens of times and built a trusting relationship, I don’t think asking would necessarily leave a bad impression, and it might work out.
That said, some women do cut off contact afterward, so men who’ve had that experience probably won’t offer.
③ If you still have some time before the repayment deadline, I think that could work.
However, offers can be hard to come by sometimes, so it’s impossible to know whether one will arrive in time. (I wouldn’t rely on it alone—using other options as well would be best.)
④ is the most realistic option. However, there are posts online saying that certain establishments didn’t pay for trial shifts, so I think it’s also important to make sure the place is trustworthy.
⑤ is realistic too.
I think it would be best to go with ⑤ while also trying ② and ③.
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I’m Rin, a female member of SALON.
Since every man is different, I think it depends on how close you are. If you’ve been seeing each other for a long time and can talk about anything, I might go with option ②.
That said, I think option ④ would be best for you. You may be turned down in the future, and if he finds another partner, he may end things with you. To avoid finding yourself unable to pay your bills at that point, I think you should work for now.
You could look for another partner while working part-time or something!
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I’m Dai, a male member.
If you’re only short by around ¥10,000, I think option ④ is your best bet.
papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) isn’t a job, so relationships can suddenly end.
It’s fine to count on it as income, but you probably shouldn’t rely on it to cover a repayment that’s coming up soon.
As for the other options…
If you’ve said you want to avoid meeting because of COVID, I don’t think “I’d really love to see you” in option ① will go over well.
If it’s a papa (a male supporter) you meet regularly, you could explain your situation and go with option ②. But if the allowance is only for dinner, I assume he’s a dinner-only (no intimacy) papa, and he may try to take advantage of your situation and negotiate an adult relationship (intimate) the next time you meet.
Option ③ isn’t something you can deliberately make happen.
Option ⑤ is realistic, but once you start using revolving credit, you may find yourself doing it again and getting in over your head.
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What a horrible papa....
Whether it’s COVID, diarrhea, or work, if the papa has to reschedule, he should still send the allowance for the adult relationship. Normally, you’d meet at the station for just a minute and hand over the agreed allowance.
That’s seriously unbelievable... Poor thing.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
I’ve been told things like② a few times, but I’ve turned them down every time, and things have never worked out afterward. This is based solely on my own experience, but whenever that happened, we still weren’t very close, so it felt extremely unnatural to me. I wondered whether the woman herself didn’t feel that way too. If she couldn’t see that, I started to feel that all she cared about was the money.
I did continue meeting some of them after turning them down, but the more often we met, the clearer it became that they only saw the money and not me. In almost every case, I eventually stopped meeting them.
So② would only be an option under very exceptional circumstances. If you’re going to accept money from a man, I think① is the only realistic choice.
③ is questionable because the other person might be disappointed when they see you. It would be better to ask the club to hide your profile from that specific person before doing it. I don’t know how effective that is, but I think it’s worth trying.
I think④ or⑤ is the most realistic solution. If you don’t mind④, why not keep working that way for a while? In fact, if you have a clear need for money, I think that would be the more reliable option.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Personally, option ② wouldn’t leave a bad impression. In fact, it’s something I ask when I need to reschedule myself. It would’ve been better to bring it up when she suggested rescheduling.
Option ① doesn’t necessarily leave a bad impression, but it does give the feeling that she’s living very spontaneously, without much planning.
Both ① and ② carry some risk, and ③ seems even more likely to upset the other person while being less certain to work. So if you don’t feel comfortable trying ②, I think ④ or ⑤ would be better.
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