I don’t feel like I can ever date anyone, and I’m honestly starting to feel like I want to die. I’m a 20-year-old college sophomore. I love designer brands. I don’t have what it takes to get men to buy things for me, so I pay for everything myself. I even go to university wearing designer items, so guys my age tell me I seem intimidating, like I work at a hostess club, or like I’m only interested in older men. And honestly, I’m only interested in older, wealthy, tall, handsome men. I know my standards are probably too high.
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I do make money through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), but my family is also genuinely wealthy, so I already have money and can buy designer items without working in the adult entertainment or nightlife industry.
I love flashy, glamorous things because I think they’re cute. My family also loves designer brands, and our home was always filled with them. Even if people around me are put off by it, I see “glamorous me” as synonymous with being cute. I’ve also spent about ¥2.5 million on cosmetic procedures since middle school, including orthodontic treatment. I’m sure my sense of money and aesthetics is completely different from that of the ordinary girls my age.
When I see low-key girls at my university enjoying student life and dating guys their age, I think, “That looks nice,” but I don’t actually want to become like them. I want to wear VUITTON, GUCCI, and MIU MIU. I can’t bring myself to be a normal college student my age. I know this is definitely not good, but I still want to wear pretty things, and I want designer items. I’ve already spent ¥400,000 on designer goods this month. Last month, it was ¥500,000. The month before that, I spent ¥600,000 on cosmetic procedures. And I still keep accumulating money. Even though I have money, I don’t feel fulfilled at all—I just keep spending recklessly. I want to stop. How can I become a normal person?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
I’m Shingo Lee, a columnist.
I love luxury and domestic designer brands too. Their distinctive designs, materials, tailoring—in every respect, the best of them really are exceptional.
That said, when it comes to clothes and accessories, “TPO”—time, place, and occasion—is important.
You might dress a little more formally for dinner at a restaurant, while wearing a mountain parka and hiking shoes for a hike. You’d dress formally for work, but wear a T-shirt to a concert by your favorite band.
In the same way, just because you like designer brands doesn’t mean wearing nothing else all the time is appropriate for every situation.
Beyond luxury brands, domestic labels, mid-range brands, and even select shops can offer their own histories, philosophies, and fresh perspectives.
Rather than looking only at high-end brands, I think broadening your view of the fashion world can bring you a greater sense of fulfillment for your money.
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You should go to the countryside and try farming.
You don’t have to make it your “career”—even gardening at home will do.
You’ll stop seeing any value in brand-name goods.
Even if you own Van Cleef, you can’t use it to plow a field.
Wear Jimmy Choos and you’ll sink into the rice paddies.
A tractor is more useful than a Lamborghini—well, I guess that’s still a tractor.
Once you start cooking and eating food you’ve grown yourself, you’ll probably wonder what the point is of spending ¥500,000 on designer goods.
Marika
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I’m Dai, a male member.
I don’t feel like he’s even trying to become a decent person.
It made me realize that even with money, life can still feel empty.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here, answering as well.
> I want to quit. What should I do to become a more respectable person?
What’s wrong with staying the way you are?
I think it’s okay to remain as you are.
Feeling unfulfilled and wasting money seem like two separate issues to me.
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
At this point, why not just spend it all until you’re broke? Better yet, keep going until you’re satisfied.
You seem to be stuck on the idea that you absolutely have to date someone your own age.
Since that doesn’t seem to be working anymore, why not change course and look for a high-caliber older man? If you’re really that popular, I think you could pull it off.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
You’re fine just as you are. Even once you’re around 40, there’s still the option of marrying a wealthy divorcee.
That’s exactly what my older sister did.
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First of all, let’s stop saying you want to die. It’s surprisingly simple: don’t say it out loud. And don’t write it down either—even when you feel that way.
This may sound a little presumptuous, but I think it’s perfectly normal to struggle with self-acceptance around the age of 20. In fact, I’d say it shows promise. You’re able to look at yourself objectively and want to change. Perhaps you’re suffering because your actions aren’t keeping up with your intentions.
As Mac-san said, dramatically changing your environment is one option. However, it may be difficult to put into practice. And if you can’t change anything, you could become even more discouraged and fall into a negative spiral. That would be the worst thing.
Why not start by accepting your current situation—including the environment you grew up in and your fondness for brands? Rather than focusing on becoming the person you want to be, why not simply start something new? Start today. Then, a month from now, check whether you’ve been able to keep it up. You may find that you like yourself just a little more. Learning to like other people can come after that.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think you should find enjoyment in things other than spending money. Spending can be fun in its own way, but I don’t think life’s pleasures are limited to something so trivial.
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