I started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) last month. I’ve met the same person three times through a nightlife scout. When I said I wanted him to take me shopping rather than have a transactional relationship, he reluctantly agreed. After he bought me things, I walked him to his car, but he got half-angry and said, “You’re not getting in?” I went home for the time being, but I’d forgotten to receive my allowance, so when I went back to collect it, he threw 10,000 yen at me and angrily said he never wanted to see me again. Since then, he’s repeatedly sent me messages saying he’s not angry and that they’re just normal messages. I’m scared he might try to get revenge. I confirmed two or three times that the terms weren’t transactional—am I the one in the wrong?

I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer too. I’m not quite following, but do you mean that after starting papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), you found out the person you met worked as a scout? And that you thought you were dealing with different people through separate accounts or something, but the same person showed up every time? Also, when you say it wasn’t an exchange of favors, did you mean that you would simply have things bought for you and wouldn’t be expected to do anything in return? And you had agreed that they would buy things for you and also give you an allowance of 10,000 yen separately—and you confirmed this several times before meeting, with the other person agreeing to it— So they got angry, saying, “I was offered 10,000 yen and never want to see them again”? There is a possibility they may try to get revenge, so I think you should just be careful not to meet the same person again. People’s messages tend to have similar wording, so if you pick up on their distinctive traits, you can probably tell when it’s the same person. > Am I the one at fault? If you clearly explained everything from the beginning, I don’t think you did anything wrong. However, if you wrote something that gave them the impression you might consider an adult relationship (intimate) after meeting, then from now on, it would be better not to raise their expectations. You could write something like, “That will absolutely never happen,” and make it clear in advance. If that’s the case, I don’t think you’re at fault. That said, in general, it’s difficult to arrange things so that one person simply receives something while only benefiting themselves. The other person may try to come up with some kind of scheme, so I think you should be more careful than usual.

It sounds like you’ve been through a really tough time. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Universe Club exists for girls like you, so why not join and look for a papa (a male supporter) there? I’m sure you’ll meet someone nice♫ Loser Guy

I’m Fuu, a column writer. If I understand correctly, you were approached by a scout for the adult entertainment industry and then started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) with him—is that right? Wouldn’t it be better to use Universe Club, or at least a papa-katsu app, and make sure you carefully vet the other person before getting involved?

I’m Kazu, a male member. When someone says, “Go shopping for me,” that’s generally called a quid pro quo. It’s not the questioner’s fault; I think the real issue is that the other person lacks communication skills or the ability to think things through. papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) actually requires more thought than you might expect. If you’re not good at thinking things through, you’d probably be better off working in the adult entertainment industry.

This is Nana Ayase☆ Maybe I’m just not very bright, but I really don’t understand what you mean. Where did you meet this papa? On an app? Was he introduced to you by a scout from the adult entertainment industry? Did you meet the same person three times? He bought you things, and then asked you to get in his car? Well, if you let him take you shopping, of course he’d expect you to get in the car and go to a hotel afterward. I’d be furious too. When you say “after that,” do you mean after the adult relationship (intimate)? Or did you go home first? You mean the transportation allowance, right? You forgot it, but you’re also partly at fault. Actually, he did give you presents, didn’t he? I’m sorry, but I don’t think you’re suited for papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). You sound like you could literally lose your life, so you should quit.

I’m Osaka, a male member. I thought, “Huh?” so I read it over a few times, but yep—still “huh?” lol That scout doesn’t really matter, but I can relate to not wanting to meet the person asking the question ever again, lol. They have a profile that’s irritating in all sorts of ways, so hopefully they’ll find somewhere they can put it to good use, haha.