I’m Nana Ayase☆
Even if we’re meeting at Komeda, there are times when we won’t actually go inside. I mean, it’s dinner time, right? I’d hate for my rating to drop, so please go there for now.
I’m Rin, a female SALON member.
Since SALON doesn’t have you meet your match face-to-face at a venue right away, I do feel reassured about that. Still, if possible, I’d prefer somewhere with a little distance from other people so our conversation can’t be overheard.
That said, I think it would be a shame to give up on the opportunity just because of that. Since this is a chance encounter, why not meet him first and see how it goes?
Good luck!
I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer this too.
> If you don’t want to meet him, why not just turn down the offer?
Once the arrangement has been confirmed, canceling will lower your rating with the staff. In fact, it may be treated as a last-minute cancellation, so I think your star rating may drop as well.
First, you receive an offer, then the date is set and the meeting is confirmed. However, there are men who still haven’t decided where to meet by that point. I feel like there were quite a lot of them.
The woman gets excited because the date is set, and then she receives a message from the staff saying something like:
“We’ll be meeting at a Komeda Coffee somewhere-or-other.”
I think many women would be disappointed at that point.
There are no rules specifying the meeting location, so even the staff may be thinking, “Wait, here? Is this really okay?”—expecting the date to fail—but they can’t say anything and simply pass the information on to the woman.
In this case, the question is worded vaguely as “Komedas or just a genuinely ordinary coffee shop,” so it probably isn’t actually that situation. Still, it’s troubling that sometimes you can’t back out even after being told the meeting place later and realizing you want to decline.
I think the person asking should just go to the coffee shop and leave afterward.
Once you leave the coffee shop, anything beyond that is free-form dating. So if he says, “But we agreed on four hours, didn’t we?” you can say:
“Yes, I’ve kept the time open, but I was told that anything after this would be free-form dating. How much allowance are you offering?”
If you then name an amount higher than the terms he proposes, you can probably get out of there in most cases.
If he says, “What are you talking about? We’re not going to a hotel, so why would I give you an allowance?” then I think it would be fine to say, “Could you please confirm that with the club?”
Of course, this only works because he was the one who chose the coffee shop. (I don’t think anyone can stay in a coffee shop for four hours.)
And I don’t think you should use this approach with someone you genuinely feel you might like to date.
Even though the club explains that the arrangement is basically supposed to involve a meal, someone who deliberately chooses a coffee shop as the meeting place is showing a self-centered way of thinking. (They don’t listen to what the club says—or to other people.) So feeling uneasy before even meeting him makes me think the person asking is actually pretty perceptive.
That said, experienced men make sure you don’t notice these things. Some people have the conversational skills to avoid complaints, along with generous allowances or good looks, and they tend to be fine wherever they go.
I’m Aya, a female member.
Personally, I’d meet him at least once. Besides, canceling at the last minute can also give the club a bad impression.
And you can’t really tell how much money someone has from the first meeting alone. He might be a papa (a male supporter) worth investing in, so why not meet him once and see how it goes?
