After meeting, many men say things like, “Let’s go to ○ next time,” and make all sorts of nice promises, but after a few messages following the date, they never invite me out again.
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They do reply when I contact them, but the conversation never progresses to making specific plans.
What are they thinking, and how should I handle this?
I’m a male member named Basil.
It feels like they’re talking about me.
When I’m seeing multiple women, I prioritize the ones I rank more highly. On the other hand, even when it comes to women I rank lower, I still enjoy seeing them, so I’ll say things like, “Let’s go to this restaurant next time.” But when I get busy, meeting them inevitably gets pushed back.
When that happens, I’m not planning to cut things off, so I reply when they contact me, but I tend to stop reaching out proactively.
From the woman’s perspective, I’m probably breaking my promises, so I feel it’s understandable if they decide to cut ties with me.
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I’m Fuu, a columnist.
If a papa (a male supporter) likes a woman, he’ll be the one to ask her out again.
If he doesn’t invite you to meet again, there’s probably some reason on your end.
Since you’re getting offers, I assume you’re attractive. But perhaps things don’t continue because of how you act when you’re together, or because you’re not giving your papa enough satisfaction during intimate time to match the allowance.
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
I don’t think many people can bring themselves to turn someone down for a relationship while sitting right in front of them.
From a man’s perspective, he probably felt that something was lacking. There’s no need to fixate on one woman, so I think that’s why he treated you the way you described.
It would be wiser to look for your next opportunity.
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
If that’s happening during the follow-up communication, then the man is probably losing interest during the date or meeting beforehand. You may need to change something at that stage, but without knowing more, that’s all I can say.
Men also decide whether to make an offer after looking at a woman’s profile and even her videos, so I wonder if there’s some kind of mismatch between expectations and reality.
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Maezawa from the President’s Office here, too.
It’s possible the man isn’t very interested in exchanging many messages.
I’d suggest being direct and narrowing down the dates, something like:
“When would you be able to take me to ○○ next time? I’m free on the ○th and ○th—would either of those work for you?
There are also some other days I could do, so please let me know.”
If he doesn’t offer a date, I think it’s fine to take the initiative and be more forward.
However, if you still can’t settle on a date, it may be that you’re not his type, so I’d recommend looking for someone new.
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