A few hours ago, I hurt my lower back lifting something heavy.
I can walk, but bending forward is difficult.
I’m supposed to meet my PJ tomorrow afternoon for our second adult relationship (intimate) date. But I don’t think I’ll be able to do missionary position, so I’m not sure what to do.
1. Cancel the date altogether
2. Make it dinner only (no intimacy)
3. Ask her to accommodate my bad back with positions like cowgirl or oral sex, for the same allowance
4. Offer an additional allowance for accommodating my bad back
I’ve been holding it in, so if I go with option 1 or 2, I’m thinking of taking care of myself now.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂50s👑Universe male member
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
Don’t let it get you down. Let’s just stick to dinner only (no intimacy), without pushing ourselves.
She’s making time for you too, so please don’t cancel without discussing it with her.
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I’m in Seattle.
Either ① or ② works.
Since this is because of my circumstances, I think I should still give you the allowance for the adult relationship. I assume you had planned on it.
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If it’s really bad, I’d give it a 1. Especially on the second meeting, I wouldn’t show them an undignified side of myself.
If you’re considering a long-term arrangement, it’s just one meeting out of many. It’s also a chance to see how they react and what kind of person they are.
—Paper Airplane
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I’m columnist Fuu.
If I were you, I’d let him know that I’m not feeling well and ask to reschedule.
If you’re trying to make your schedules work, you could discuss increasing the number of times you meet—for example, meeting twice that month instead of your usual once—to make up for the missed time.
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Maezawa from the president’s office here—I’ll answer too.
For option 2, dinner only, I think it would look classy to give her the same allowance as you would for an adult relationship (intimate).
Women actually tend to remember gestures like that, and it’s sure to work in your favor going forward.
I think it’s okay to treat yourself to looking generous once in a while.
That said, you should briefly explain that this isn’t the usual allowance for dinner, but the amount you would give for an adult relationship, and that since you’re choosing not to have one today for your own reasons, you’re giving her that amount anyway.
Otherwise, she might assume she’ll continue receiving the same amount for dinner only in the future. Keep the explanation short—just casually mention it in about ten seconds.
Going on and on about it could backfire.
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If he’s someone you want to keep seeing and treat well, I’d go with option ②—and definitely expect an allowance for an adult relationship (intimate).
Honestly, options ③ and ④ would be a deal-breaker for me.
Take care,
Akari
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Teramoto from the Tokyo branch of Universe Club here.
Hmm, that’s a difficult one…
As Kazu mentioned, I definitely think you should avoid being on top. If anything, it may put even more strain on your lower back than the missionary position.
A face-to-face seated position seems to put relatively less strain on the lower back, but it would still place some burden on it.
As disappointing as it may be, considering the future, it would probably be safer not to push yourself tomorrow and instead stay home by yourself… or make it dinner only tomorrow…!
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I’m Dai, a male member.
A thrown-out back can be really painful, can’t it? Please take good care of yourself.
If you’ve already had an adult relationship once, I recommend keeping it to one or two times and not pushing yourself.
It might be a good idea to schedule the next meeting without leaving too much time in between.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think you should talk it over with the woman.
By the way, being on top can put more strain on your lower back than you might expect, so you may want to avoid that position as well.
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