I’m a female member. I’d like to ask about how quickly I should reply to messages from my partner.
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I can’t check my phone while I’m at work, so there have been several times when I received a message from my papa (a male supporter) around 8 a.m., after I’d already started work, and replied after getting home that evening. In response, he told me I was taking too long to reply, accused me of cheating, and said I should reply during my breaks. Honestly, these aren’t messages about anything important or time-sensitive, and I reply when I can, so I don’t understand why he has to say all that. At this point, I even get irritated when he messages me at inconvenient times or sends trivial content.
I don’t have casual LINE chats with my friends or boyfriend either, and no one has ever pressured me to reply before. Am I the one being unreasonable? Is it really necessary to message someone every day?
I’m Aya, a female member.
If you can’t stand communicating with that papa (a male supporter), then end things. If you want the money badly enough to put up with it, you’ll just have to be patient.
I don’t mind keeping in touch, so I respond normally. But if a man gets too persistent, you can just send him a single sticker and leave it at that.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
If he’s replying within 24 hours, I don’t think there’s anything strange about it.
When it comes to LINE, I tend to think men should match the woman’s pace.
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It’s Joe here.
The other person is clearly out of line. But maybe the asker is starting to catch their stupidity by asking about it in the first place. Please be careful!
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I think women like the questioner are pretty typical and make up the majority.
For reference, my monthly arrangement partners take about 48 hours to reply on average. I almost never contact them first, so I guess they don’t notice.
Even my ace can easily go a week without replying. But since I happily let it slide, it’s never been a problem.
That said, people like me and Mac are rare, so you might get dropped simply for replying slowly. papa-katsu is a business, after all, and I don’t think anyone wants to do business with someone who’s slow to respond.
Also, I honestly can’t relate to the idea of being “busy.” I probably get more work done than the questioner, but I reply to everyone within seconds.
Even if replying instantly is difficult, there’s plenty of time while riding the train, using the bathroom, or taking a coffee break.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with replying slowly, but you just shouldn’t be disappointed if someone drops you because of it.
A Loser Guy
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I’m in Seattle.
Mac, you’re really busy, huh? lol
When a woman is slow to respond to important messages I only send occasionally, I figure she’s not very capable—and it doesn’t last long.
That said, if she replies to lots of pointless small talk after she gets home, that’s perfectly fine. In that case, the boring guy is the one to blame.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Everyone sees things differently, so I don’t think either side is necessarily in the wrong. If you feel that “the timing and content of your messages are the problem,” I think you should simply say so. Why not tell her?
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I’m Rin, a female member of SALON.
I guess you’re busy with work. Why not reply during your lunch break?
Personally, I wouldn’t go without replying from 8 a.m. until I got home. I’d respond here and there during my commute, breaks, or other spare moments. Since I’m not an office worker, though, my perspective may be a little different from that of most people.
Some people find it a hassle to stay in touch, so it might be a good idea to mention at the beginning that you’re not very diligent about messaging. Maybe you and this person simply aren’t a good match to begin with. I think how often you communicate is actually pretty important.
If you just can’t understand each other and it’s becoming stressful, it might be worth considering someone else.
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