I’m honestly surprised by how much people here seem to dislike backpacks.

I’m Dai, a male member. As I mentioned in my previous answer, I’m also fine with backpacks. I asked a woman I’m dating, and she said that if someone showed up with a backpack on their first date, she would only think, “I wonder if he’s taking me somewhere inexpensive.” So even if you go with a backpack, I don’t think it’s really a problem as long as you don’t take her to a cheap restaurant. As you said, there are all kinds of izakayas. I can also understand wanting to choose one where it’s easier to reserve a private room. Personally, I’m not really inclined to go on an izakaya date. The main reason is that they often either don’t carry particularly good sake or charge ridiculously high prices for it. When I mentioned buffets before, I got the impression that quite a few people weren’t very enthusiastic about the idea. I’ve also heard people say that they’d like to be told in advance about yakiniku dates because their clothes might smell afterward. In the end, everyone has different preferences. That’s actually one reason I’ve started making more active use of letter dates, where you can ask the other person about their preferences beforehand.

I’m Chikuwa, a male member. First dates through Universe are such a hassle. You have to be considerate, spend money, choose a restaurant, and give up your time. These days, I’m limiting new offers and only approaching the most beautiful women or those with interesting backgrounds. C types only. Every B type I’ve met so far seemed completely unmotivated. As long as her clothes aren’t dirty and she isn’t domineering or violent, that should be enough. And for the restaurant, I’d be perfectly happy with a private room at an izakaya with good food. I’m not using a marriage-hunting app, after all. I was stunned by the comment that showing up with a backpack or going to an izakaya would get you banned. If all the women were really that nasty, I would have quit Universe ages ago. In reality, I keep using it because there are plenty of tolerant and kind women.

I’m Shingo Lee, a columnist. To begin with, you should probably recognize that you’re the kind of person who is “wrong in several ways.” > This isn’t criticism from someone who hates backpacks. > Everyone is free to have their own sensibilities; they just don’t suit me. > Of course, I’m not saying I only go to izakayas. > I’m not even sure how we’re defining “izakaya,” though. > Izakayas serve great food. > They even have private rooms, and they’re relaxing. > Backpacks are incredibly convenient. > They even go well with Chesterfield coats. This writing completely lacks any consideration for how others see things. If you simply use the word “sensibilities,” then anything becomes acceptable. By that logic, you could show up to a first date wearing a loincloth and say, “It’s my personal style, so it’s fine.” That’s why people share a common understanding of TPO—time, place, and occasion—and make an effort to adjust themselves to some extent out of consideration for others. There’s absolutely none of that in the way you express yourself. Incidentally, pairing a Chesterfield coat with a backpack is basically a bad move. A Chesterfield coat is a somewhat formal outer layer, so wearing it with a casual backpack isn’t exactly a sign of good taste. It inevitably makes you look like a college student. On a middle-aged man, a Chesterfield coat with a backpack is practically a fashion “out.”

You understand that there are stylish backpack outfits and ones that aren’t, right? And you also know which kind the papa who left was wearing, right? I’m not saying that backpacks are inherently bad. That said… my papa usually wears a jacket and trousers rather than a suit. He has a smart look, but he always carries a backpack—usually a TUMI or something similar. I do think he’s stylish, but even so, I’m not really a fan of it. Sorry. If it were a date to hike Mount Takao, I’d bring a backpack too. I like izakayas as well. I’m not a fan of narrow-minded people either. Marika

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here as well. It seems there may be some misunderstanding. No matter how you dress, I think the woman will stay and spend time with you during the meal. It’s only afterward, when you invite her to a hotel, that she may turn you down. In the first place, even if you show up dressed appropriately, there’s still a chance she may decline an adult relationship (intimate). Women are choosing men, too. If you understand that, then by all means, try going to an izakaya with a backpack. She’ll still keep you company properly, smile, and say things like, “This is fun,” or “A place like this is nice too,” as a courtesy. But afterward, she may write a terrible review in the post-date feedback. Naturally, if enough negative feedback accumulates and your score falls below a certain threshold, you’ll be forcibly removed from the service. At that point, the man may think, “She was smiling, said she had fun, and even said she was looking forward to my next invitation. It was a huge success!” But she was only being considerate. Those weren’t her true feelings. After that, she may stop responding altogether. Are you really okay with that? That’s the point. If you find that enjoyable, I’m not going to stop you. You’re free to wear whatever you like and go wherever you want. There may even be one woman in a thousand who genuinely wanted to go to an izakaya, and perhaps one in five thousand who falls for a man because she thinks his backpack looks cool. > **[1] Is it possible to ask the staff in advance whether a woman would dislike this kind of backpack or be unwilling to go to an izakaya for the first meeting? There’s no need to check, because almost no women will openly say they dislike those things. The point is that more women would prefer not to date a man who shows up dressed like that or takes them somewhere like that. So even if you check, I imagine most women will say it’s fine. What exactly is wrong if it’s “fine”? You’ll probably understand once you make plenty of offers. Isn’t the only reason you don’t understand yet that you haven’t made any offers? Even if someone gives you advice about what would be better, if you can’t take it to heart, I think you should experience it for yourself. Instead of asking here, why not go ahead and make an offer, then try going to an izakaya with your backpack? If the allowance is over ¥100,000, it might still work out, so you may end up concluding that a backpack is perfectly fine.

I’m in Seattle. The actress playing Rika, the “problematic female member,” in that candid interview did a great job. It was entertaining. Even if he wears a backpack, it’s fine as long as he’s handsome and rich.

I’m Fuu, a columnist. It’s up to your personal taste, so by all means, give it a try. Whether it’s showing up with a backpack or going to an izakaya, feel free to try it out. Set your profile so that only people who make you an offer can view it, and write, “I’ll go to an izakaya with a backpack.” Any women who aren’t comfortable with that can turn you down beforehand. But try to imagine how the woman might feel, too. Can’t you easily imagine that many women would feel it wasn’t what they expected if they were taken to an izakaya they could have gone to themselves for a first meeting? It might be fine once you’ve gotten to know each other, though… Everyone has different deal-breakers, right? A lack of cleanliness, body odor, beards, being overweight, being overly hairy, untrimmed nails, age, and so on. Women also have the right to decline offers through a dating club. So the question is: what can you do to make it less likely that you’ll be turned down? If I were Fuu, that’s what I’d be thinking about…

I’m Aya, a female member. I think you may be taking things too literally and getting overly anxious, questioner… I’m not saying you should leave just because he’s wearing a backpack or because the place is an izakaya. A smart-looking backpack carried by a typical businessman is perfectly fine, in my opinion. As long as he looks clean and well-groomed, there’s no problem. The point is that when you’re entertaining a woman you’re meeting for the first time, choosing a place or outfit that’s excessively casual or lacking in cleanliness increases the risk of things not going well.

I’m Kazu, a male member. > [1] Can the staff check with women in advance about things like “I don’t like backpacks like that” or “An izakaya is a no-go for a first meeting”? Why not mention it in your message when making the offer? > [2] Are there any other common deal-breakers? The first thing that comes to mind is a lack of cleanliness.