I won’t date my next partner unless he surpasses the person I was with in every way. So I keep dating men who are increasingly more emotionally and financially accomplished—or rather, whenever I find someone who surpasses my current boyfriend, I move on to him.
This content is machine-translated.
I assume everyone does the same…
But there’s no end to it. Is the time to stop looking for a new partner something you decide based on age? I’m 26.
I end up dating someone while always thinking, somewhere in the back of my mind, that there must be someone better and that this guy isn’t good enough.
Maybe it’s because my biological father was a fairly high-caliber man. I haven’t met anyone who surpasses my father.
How can I become satisfied with my current boyfriend, truly face the relationship, and finally settle down?
You have a thing for older men, huh?
Still, I suppose that’s better than having a mommy complex.
You won’t keep meeting one wonderful person after another forever. Before long, more and more of the great ones will get married, and you’ll find yourself thinking, “The person I liked before was better than this one.”
You might end up nearing 40 and marrying someone younger, but I think that’s perfectly fine too. I have a friend like that, and she seems happy.
Marika
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Maezawa from the CEO’s office here.
Hmm...
Are you talking about appearance?
I feel the key is what you’re using to judge someone as being “high-level.”
Try setting aside all your criteria for now and seeing different kinds of people. You may start to understand what you’re really looking for.
Maybe you’ve been focusing only on appearance, but things never worked out because what you were actually seeking was someone with substance.
That could be the case, too.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think it’s because you’re young. When I read your question, I felt you were being a bit childish. Once you mature emotionally, I think you’ll learn to appreciate what you have.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m a male member who’s always come up short.
I really understand how you feel. I’ve always wanted to surpass my past self in every way, and I’ve lived with my ambitions fully unleashed, without worrying about my place in the world or how I measure up.
I wouldn’t call it hell, but I think it means living a life of constant struggle—and you probably won’t be able to find true happiness.
“Knowing when you’ve had enough”
is the ultimate state to aim for, yet if you try to fill your stomach completely, you’ll end up making yourself sick.
Still, I understand that urge to keep striving, even when you know better.
I hope you live without regrets.
I aimed higher and, luckily, things happened to work out for me.
If you aim for “knowing when you’ve had enough” from the start, you may end up with even less than half a full stomach anyway.
Wishing you the best of luck!
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Have you ever taken an objective look at yourself?
Just because your papa was high-caliber doesn’t mean you are.
Just because your boyfriend was high-caliber doesn’t mean you are.
If all you care about is judging others and keeping up appearances, without making any effort yourself, you’re simply someone who doesn’t know their place.
People who mistake someone else’s achievements for their own, or brag in advance about achievements they haven’t even attained yet—nothing will come to those who have no substance behind them.
—Akari
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m in Seattle.
How do you rate yourself mentally, financially, academically, and looks-wise? Compromise by finding someone with a similar total score.
At this rate, you’ll probably still be saying the same thing five years from now. It’d be a shame to miss your prime chance at marriage. Though marriage is nothing but trouble anyway, so you’ll probably have more fun staying single for life.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Ayase Nana here☆
Were you intimate with your papa?
Fundamentally, there’s something wrong with looking for someone better than your papa.
And really, the question is how long high-caliber men would be willing to date someone at your level, isn’t it?
A woman is more than just someone who opens her legs.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Falling for someone isn’t about logic or conditions.
You don’t need a reason for chemistry, either.
Maybe you simply haven’t met someone you truly liked, fallen for, or felt genuinely compatible with yet.
Do you like them or not? I want you to focus on your own feelings—and theirs.
Even if everyone else calls it the worst thing in the world, who cares? If you find someone who feels like the best person for you, and you can feel that way about them, that’s happiness.
—Paper Airplane
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Taro, a male member.
Are you a daddy’s girl? lol. There’s probably no man who can surpass your father. He’s known you since you were a baby, cleaned up after you, accepted all your selfishness and stubbornness, and watched over you for 26 years, right? And without even being intimate with you. I don’t feel like I could possibly compete with someone like that. If you’d at least been intimate with your father, you might have seen some of his uncool sides and been able to evaluate him as an ordinary, real-life man.
One more thing: this isn’t limited to romantic partners, but striving for something better is important—and yet, there’s no end to it. In the end, everyone has a certain personal “capacity,” and you can’t go beyond it. By working hard without accepting that “capacity” as fixed, you may be able to expand it. But when you actually try, you realize that although people continue growing throughout their lives, they don’t have the unlimited potential they imagined when they were young. Instead, they deepen their abilities in the areas they’re good at.
If these are the kinds of things you’re thinking about, I believe the man you should be with shouldn’t be someone you obtain as the result of your efforts, but rather a partner who walks alongside you on that journey.
Put more simply, in Japan, you’ll probably be happier choosing “rice and pickles” over “steak.”
In dating-club terms, “steak” is “just for fun,” while “rice and pickles” means something serious.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
