I made an offer to a C-type woman, and our first date developed into an adult relationship. We exchanged one thank-you email afterward, but then she stopped responding… I want to see her again and can’t decide whether to contact her. Here’s what happened—what do you think?
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I met her after making an offer about two weeks after she registered.
I felt that we both had a pleasant time over dinner and conversation, and that everything was relaxed and enjoyable.
After spending time together in an adult relationship, we talked, and she told me that she had gone on dates with two men before meeting me. She even told me how much allowance they had given her, and that she had offers from several more men.
She also told me the allowance amounts from the two men she had met before me. In my case, the amount I gave her was 10.
According to her, things with those two men had not developed into an adult relationship.
When we parted that day, I told her that I wanted to see her again, and that after she went on dates with the other men who had made offers, she should contact me if she still wanted to meet me again.
So I suppose I should just wait, but… I also find myself thinking that she could at least have sent me a New Year’s greeting around the end of the year. At the same time, I wonder if it would be okay for me to contact her first, so I decided to post and ask what others think.
I know that if I want to contact her, I should just do it… Sorry.
I’m Ayase Nana ♡
Dear questioner, go ahead and send your New Year’s greetings right away. If that doesn’t work, let’s move on to the next one.
Take some time to think carefully about what may have gone wrong on your end. When you meet someone wonderful next time, just be careful not to let those shortcomings show.
Life is a learning experience until the day we die.
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
I think either reaching out or waiting is perfectly fine. It’s best to look at the situation as a whole.
If she feels that things are good overall, the next date will happen regardless of whether the allowance is high or low. If she doesn’t, she’ll simply turn you down.
If you genuinely want to see her again, go ahead and contact her. If you’re fine either way, it’s also perfectly okay to wait.
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✕ In my case, the amount I gave was 10.
〇 It was twice the amount I gave—10.
That’s what you mean, right?
So I guess the questioner was able to have an adult relationship for 5, but afterward found several men who were just as attractive and well-groomed as you, and who offered 7 or 8.
And I suppose the men who offered 10 but were rejected before meeting you smelled like poop coming from their mouths, and were short, fat, and bald like me.
A loser guy
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I’ll answer this as Maezawa from the CEO’s office.
> If the amount you gave me was the amount in question, it was 10.
If you mean that the amount was 10—twice what the questioner offered—then even if those two women hadn’t entered into an adult relationship (intimate) with him yet, I think they probably did so on their next dates for 10. (That was likely the arrangement from the start.)
They may simply be saying they didn’t have an adult relationship with him out of consideration for you, but it’s only natural to assume that they did for 10.
In other words, they agreed to meet the first time for the allowance you offered, but you apparently didn’t have anything special enough to make up the difference between 5 and 10, so the natural conclusion is that they stopped responding.
If you wanted to see them again, I honestly don’t understand why you didn’t think of offering 12—more than 10—or at least the same 10 when you heard that the other two men were paying 10.
Of course, if you didn’t think they were worth that much, you should have realized then and there that there wouldn’t be a next time.
If 5 was all you could offer, then you simply needed to look for women who were fine with 5.
There may be an atmosphere suggesting that paying more allowance is outrageous, but there are women who receive 10 or more.
It’s difficult to defeat a tank with your bare hands.
If you’re empty-handed, find an opponent you can beat empty-handed. That’s the sensible thing to do.
So when someone tells me, “I fight bare-handed, no matter who my opponent is,” I can’t help thinking, “Go ahead and get torn to pieces, then.”
Anyway, I’ve gotten off track. This time, I think you should give up gracefully and look for another woman.
P.S. But Taichi Hiraga—Keaton actually did fight a tank with his bare hands… lol
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I’m Aya, a female member.
There’s a good chance you lost out to the competition. Maybe, quite simply, your allowance was too low.
Right after registering, women tend to get offers from lots of men, so it might be worth reaching out again after six months or so—once some of their other papa (male supporters) have moved on and they’ve gained a general sense of the realities of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
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Going as far as an adult relationship on the very first day, only to exchange one round of messages afterward, sounds incredibly lonely. It makes you both seem rather cold toward each other.
If she was happy too, it wouldn’t be unusual to receive a flood of excited, heartfelt LINE messages after your first meeting.
You don’t need a routine thank-you message every time, but when she feels happy or moved by meeting you, I’d like her to express those feelings openly.
I think it’s best to match the woman’s pace when replying, so from next time, try to think of ways to make her enjoy herself.
Paper Airplane
As for the allowance, I think it’s better to give it not simply because you were satisfied, but as a way of showing gratitude for the time you spent together and for being able to treat her well, entertain her, and make her happy. I hope you can feel the joy you’ve given her.
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I’m Rin, a female member of SALON.
You must be an attractive, wonderful woman, so you probably get plenty of offers—and maybe you’ve met someone really great.
Wouldn’t it be okay to at least reach out? I think you should try sending something like, “Would you like to meet up sometime around New Year’s and exchange greetings?”
I hope you get to see him again!
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
If you want to reach out to her, I think you should. I may have sounded a little too cool for my own good there. I’d rather regret doing something than regret not doing it.
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