Any good tips for asking my former papa for something I want?
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I started working full-time, became financially stable, and graduated from papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). I still have a friends-with-benefits type of relationship with one former papa, without money involved, once every few months.
I’d like to ask him for a beauty appliance worth a few tens of thousands of yen, but it’s been more than three years since money was involved between us, so I’m not sure how to ask.
He’s single, and he hasn’t given me anything in particular, such as a Christmas present.
I’m Saito, the columnist ♪
I’m not really sure what a relationship without money involved means...
If it’s listed as ¥0, doesn’t that mean it will always be ¥0?
(Isn’t that difficult? Or is it about getting household appliances written off as business expenses?)
Sorry for my lack of understanding.
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I’m Ayase Nana☆
To that man, you’re just one of his casual partners.
If the roles were reversed and a man asked you to buy him a present, what would you do?
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There’s no real trick to it, but…
One of my longtime girlfriends regularly asks me for things around that price, repeatedly and without giving up. Even if I don’t buy them for her, she’ll bring it up again from time to time. Every few times, I’ll occasionally buy something for her. At most, that happens a few times a year; some years, I don’t buy her anything at all.
We’ve been together for decades, so ours is the kind of relationship where neither of us is bothered by whatever the other says.
I imagine the man in your situation probably doesn’t mind being asked either.
—Kamihikōki
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office will answer this one too.
Since you like him and are happy with the arrangement as it is, I think it’s perfectly fine to say that you’d at least like a gift for Christmas or other special occasions.
For example, you could mention that you’d really like a certain appliance.
It depends on how he feels about you, but under normal circumstances, I think he’d buy it for you.
If he won’t, it may mean he sees you as nothing more than “a woman of convenience.”
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
These days, if it isn’t part of an allowance arrangement, I feel like she’d be happy to buy something costing tens of thousands of yen. If there’s something you want but can’t afford, I think it’s best to just ask directly: “I want this, but I don’t have the money. Would you buy it for me?”
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I’m in Seattle.
Once the allowance stops, I guess the only option is to ask outright for things like birthday or Christmas gifts.
You might have an opportunity when you’ve done your papa a favor, or when he’s late or cancels at the last minute.
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