I’d like some advice about a papa (a male supporter) I’ve met several times.
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During meals, he would sometimes use his phone. I thought, “Maybe he’s checking work emails?” but the angle seemed strange for that.
The other day, while we were on a date, he pointed his camera at me. When I turned around with a questioning look, I caught a glimpse of the camera screen just as he tried to quickly hide his phone.
I didn’t have the courage to say anything, but I’m worried about continuing a relationship with someone who takes photos without asking…
(It makes me feel sick and scared to think that he may have been taking pictures of me before, too.)
Is there any way to handle this peacefully…?
I’m unsure whether I should tell him not to take pictures of me or end things with him…
I’m sorry to bother you during this busy time of year, and thank you in advance.
(I look forward to your continued support next year, too!)
I’m BB7.
Once you’ve gotten reasonably close, most women will smile and make a peace sign when you say, “Let’s take a picture,” won’t they? We even take selfies together all the time. Do none of you do that?
Of course, not during meals or trips—and not during intimate moments.
Why would anyone take pictures secretly? They could just ask.
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I’m Ayase Nana ♡
That’s scary, isn’t it? :( ;´꒳`;):
I’d be wondering, “If I say goodbye right away, what will happen to those photos?”
Like Marika, I think it would be okay to take his phone away and tell him to delete the photos the next time he does something weird.
That’s a crime.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here.
That’s concerning. I think there’s a good chance you may have been photographed in bed as well.
Even so, I think the best option is to simply send something like:
“I’ve decided to stop papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) this year.”
Then stop marking their messages as read, or block them and end things.
If you want to find out whether you were photographed in bed, try paying close attention to their behavior on your next date. Look carefully for any cameras and watch what they do.
They may leave a bag or smartphone somewhere unnatural, so you might be able to find evidence while the man is taking a shower.
However, there’s still a possibility that things could go wrong, lead to trouble, or result in threats.
So I think ending things without investigating further is the best option.
I understand wanting to take photos of a woman, but they should properly obtain her consent first.
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Break up with him immediately—the real concern is what will happen to all the photos you’ve shared so far, right?
If you’re planning to end things anyway, you could wait until he’s holding his phone at an odd angle, quickly take it from him, and catch him in the act. You could also have him delete every photo in front of you.
Marika
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He sounds like the kind of person who can’t even follow basic manners.
The only option is to end things.
That said, people like that tend to be a hassle, so I hope you can end things smoothly…
Akari
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I think it’s fine when it’s a reverse offer based on taking photos or videos, like Mack does, but I never take photos of women.
That said, women do take quite a few photos of me...
I accept because refusing would seem petty, but I’d at least like them to say, “I’m going to take a photo.”
—A defeated man
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I’m Rin, a female SALON member.
I really don’t like photos…
I decided to register with SALON on the condition that I wouldn’t allow photos, so I can’t imagine someone taking them without my permission.
I don’t know why he was taking them, but I’d be scared if he had secretly taken photos or videos in bed too.
I feel it would be difficult to continue seeing someone I can’t trust. But asking, “Were you taking photos?” would take quite a bit of courage as well.
If it were me, I’d probably start creating some distance little by little.
Best of luck, and take care!
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