Please don’t assume that dating older men is completely stress-free. I can put up with it because there’s an allowance. Even so, I’m enduring enough that sometimes it still feels like too little.
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Even their wrinkled skin stresses me out—the thought that I’m being held by someone this wrinkled. Their thinning hair and the smell of aging bother me too.
Just being seen next to them makes staff look at us as if they’re seeing something they shouldn’t. And they tell the same stories over and over.
I consider the allowance compensation for all of that.
As people get older, everyone becomes less hygienic, don’t they? As their muscles weaken, they spill food and stop noticing the dirt around them. It can’t be helped, but many people don’t realize that they’re making others uncomfortable. I’ve really come to appreciate how difficult it must be to work as a caregiver.
Some people say things that make their papa-katsu partners misunderstand because they get a bigger allowance when the other person is genuinely in love. But it would be a problem if they actually thought I was serious. Lately, it feels like there are more older men here who misunderstand and think a real romantic relationship leading to marriage is possible, even though the chances are zero.
Things like, “You’d still see me even without the allowance, right?” Or, “Even though I’m married, you’re seeing me with the understanding that you’d be okay having my child, right?”
Do they even understand their own age? Do they understand how big the age gap is? Normally, we’re the ones being held against the firm chests of young men.
There are people who age beautifully, aren’t there? People who don’t seem unhygienic, who remain humble instead of becoming arrogant, and who seem to make even their age work in their favor.
I’ve started wanting to age gracefully, using my papas as examples of what not to become.
I can’t help feeling anxious when I think that growing old might turn me into someone like them. How cruel is aging?
I know this may be a strange place to ask, but what do you think it means to age beautifully?
I’m Flag Maker, a columnist.
There’s no one right way to age gracefully, is there?
It may seem odd for me to say this, but when you age gracefully, you end up with a happy home, a loving marriage, and close relationships with your children and grandchildren, don’t you?
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This is Joe.
I’m in Wakkanai right now. It’s cold enough to freeze to death if you let your guard down.
I asked the woman next to me, “Do you feel stressed when you’re with me?” Her answer was, “Probably about half as much stress as you’re feeling, Joe-chan.” I’d believed she was completely stress-free, so that came as a bit of a shock.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is: please understand that your papa is feeling stressed too.
Since you’re probably young, if you’re genuinely feeling afraid of aging, you’re definitely not getting enough exercise.
For now, try running 10 kilometers. That said, if you’re in Wakkanai right now, stay inside and keep warm.
Have a wonderful New Year.
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Don’t laugh at the elderly—you’re headed that way yourself.
Don’t become arrogant.
Stay humble.
I’ll say the same thing right back to you.
You’re choosing to go be held, aren’t you? Don’t get confused.
All you have to do is live by earning your own way, in return for your abilities.
People with no gratitude are truly vulgar.
Akari
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I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a column writer.
A Beautiful Way to Grow Old
> Some people seem to age beautifully. They don’t feel unhygienic, they remain humble instead of becoming arrogant, and they seem to grow older while even making their age work in their favor.
Seeing it that way is quite old-fashioned. In today’s world overflowing with pop culture, it’s like preaching “wabi-sabi.”
In an age where data and technology can easily provide the optimal answer, what matters now is something more “spiritual.”
- Since we’re surrounded by pleasure, what matters is figuring out which pleasures can make you feel happy.
- Rather than becoming wealthy by doing things you hate, it’s better to be poor doing only what you love.
- Accumulating experiences matters more than accumulating knowledge.
- You can learn from both your seniors and younger people.
- Rather than gaining the same knowledge as everyone else, acquire knowledge that only you possess.
That’s the era we live in.
Can someone like you, who falls genuinely in love, deceives your papa, and makes money while deceiving yourself, really “age beautifully”?
You may be able to make your appearance look better by spending the money you earn on things like beauty treatments—but what about your soul?
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I’m columnist Fuu.
I’ve said this in my answers and columns many times, but I understand that women experience stress too. I’m nothing but grateful to those who choose to date older men.
I’m also looking for an adult relationship (intimate) with clear boundaries. Romance carries far too many risks and would be difficult for me.
Why not choose a papa (a male supporter) who understands what you can tolerate without pushing yourself, and date him?
From the papa’s side, we also choose a woman for a monthly arrangement when we feel she’s worth the allowance.
I don’t choose someone who’s pushing herself that far.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here as well.
Don’t worry. Before long, you’ll grow older too and reach the same age as the person you’re talking about now.
Wrinkled skin, thinning hair, body odor from aging—
People will think of you the same way then.
If you keep focusing on appearances, you may eventually find it hard to accept yourself as you grow old.
Whether that’s good or bad, I don’t know.
Personally, I prefer people who focus on their inner qualities rather than their appearance. I feel you should work more on what truly matters.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
All of my papas (male supporters) exercise regularly and were athletic types to begin with, so they’re all incredibly fit. One of them even looks like Kazuyoshi Miura, the soccer player.
Having muscle helps the body retain moisture, so their skin is also more supple than that of others their age.
Even so, perhaps they want to stay young—one of them spends a million yen a year on cosmetic dermatology. I guess looking good as you age costs money.
You don’t have to date older men who aren’t your type. There are occasionally some handsome, stylish older guys, so I think it’s best to wait for the right offer.
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If you keep going like this, you’ll only end up emotionally drained.
Would you really want to meet someone who isn’t enjoying it and is only seeing you out of obligation, even if you give her an allowance?
It’s time to quit.
Please earn your own money.
Marika
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Whenever I tell people my actual age, they always go, “Huh?” It’s not just the PJ girls—even the men I meet through business negotiations are surprised.
After a golf tournament, when I take a bath, young men 20 years younger than me openly stare at my body. The PJ girls are constantly touching my muscles in bed, too. I’m built very differently from those scrawny young guys.
Every PJ girl I meet tells me, “You smell really good,” or, “You’re the first person I’ve met whose breath had no odor.”
I never let up on my daily workouts, self-discipline, and beauty care to maintain this. I take better care of myself than most women do, and when I look at some PJ girls, I find myself thinking, “You’re not taking very good care of yourself,” or, “Don’t you smell a little?”
One of my monthly-arrangement partners, who’s active in show business, links arms with me in the middle of Nagoya without me even asking—as if to say, “This is my papa. Don’t even think about making a move!”
Papa supporters like that really do exist. For example, Aya’s handsome older papa.
“What about you?” you ask?
Of course, I’m a short, fat, bald, ugly old man whose breath smells like poop. Sorry for being alive. m(｡>__<｡)m
A loser of a man
P.S.
My friend, Mr. Winner, asked me to pass along this message:
“If you’re really that confident in yourself, you must be an unbelievably beautiful woman unlike anyone else in the world. I’d love to receive an offer from you sometime.”
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I’m Dai, a male member.
You’re doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) because you want to, aren’t you? No one asked you to do it.
Go get yourself into the arms of a toned young man soon.
Well, being young doesn’t necessarily mean he’s toned, though, lol.
I couldn’t help laughing at the contradiction of someone who can’t feel grateful toward the person giving them an allowance, yet wants to remain humble and not become arrogant.
With that mindset, you won’t be able to age gracefully.
Lastly, I’ve noticed that some people have recently been saying it’s “because of this site,” but I don’t think this question box has influenced that many people.
For example, those middle-aged men who say things like, “We could date even without an allowance, right?” were simply thinking that way to begin with.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
You wrote about your own idea of how to age gracefully, didn’t you?
I agree with you, and I think everyone is entitled to their own views on allowance. But if, as you say, you feel that you’re enduring things in exchange for allowance, then you should simply endure them properly.
If you can’t endure it and have to complain about it here, wouldn’t it be better just not to accept the allowance in the first place?
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