A man I’ve met five times for dinner only (no intimacy) invited me on a one-night, two-day hot spring trip. When I asked about the allowance, he said it would be 30,000 yen as a base, with a little extra if anything came up.
Honestly, I would have gladly accepted if it were 50,000 yen.
He’s the most wonderful man I’ve met so far, and I’d like to stay close with him, but should I be honest and tell him how I really feel? I’m torn.
Maezawa from the CEO’s office here.
Since he’s a man you’ve only been seeing for dinner, I take his offer to mean:
“I’ll give you an allowance of 3 just for going on a trip, and even more if we have an adult relationship.”
So I think you should decide based on whether you’d be okay with getting 3 for the trip alone, with separate rooms.
If you want 5 just for the trip, it may be safer not to say that directly and simply tell him:
“I’ll pass this time.”
That said, since you’re going anyway, you could also go along with the trip and, if things seem like they’re about to become adult, try saying right before he goes all the way:
“I’d like an allowance of 20. Is that okay?”
From the man’s perspective, that would be the worst-case scenario. Some men might agree to pay it that time but never see you again.
However, since you’ll still have time together until morning, you may be able to leave a good impression.
If you cuddle and be affectionate enough to make him feel that you were worth more than the allowance, he may invite you out again.
Even if you don’t go that far, if you’d be satisfied with 5, I feel like you could ask when things are about to become adult.
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“If anything comes up…” is probably his way of hinting at something.
You should ask him directly.
He likely means, “If an adult relationship is possible…”
I think he’s hoping that if you’re okay with traveling together, you’d be okay with an adult relationship too.
Akari
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I’m Dai, a male member.
If he’s offering 30,000 yen without an adult relationship (intimate), isn’t that a pretty good deal?
If you’re concerned about how much time the trip will tie you up, I think it would be better to turn down the trip altogether.
In this case, I feel that being honest about how you really feel carries a high risk of ending the relationship.
Also, the part you can negotiate is the additional amount. If you’re not opposed to an adult relationship (intimate), make sure to clearly agree on the extra allowance in advance.
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I’m guessing it’s 30,000 yen with no adult relationship, and a little extra if anything (meaning an adult relationship) happens? I think you should ask about that and then decide on the allowance.
Marika
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