I’ve been seeing a male member introduced to me here for nearly two years.
I’d like to continue seeing him, but I’m struggling with the following issue.
Whenever there’s something after dinner, we always stay overnight, and when he can’t stay overnight due to his schedule, it becomes dinner only. (I don’t know which it will be until we meet that day.)
The allowance for dinner only is one-third of the allowance for going to a room, so it’s difficult when dinner-only meetings continue.
This year, even though I met him more than twice as often as last year, there were too many dinner-only meetings, and the total allowance I received was less than half of last year’s.
I’m finding this situation difficult to continue, so I’m thinking of asking him for one of the following. Would he be put off if I said this?
1. Tell him that I’d like to go to a room even if we don’t stay overnight
2. Honestly explain that dinner-only meetings are difficult for me and ask to receive the equivalent of one room allowance per month
3. Ask him to increase the dinner-only allowance by ¥10,000 (even dinner-only meetings last more than six hours each time)
Apparently, I’m the only woman he’s seeing, and I don’t think it’s because he doesn’t have the money.
I have several papas, so I don’t have to hold on to this particular relationship, but since we’ve continued for nearly two years, I’d like to maintain a good relationship while making my allowance somewhat more stable.
I’m Aya, a female member.
Personally, I’d focus on other papas, considering the risk of upsetting him during negotiations… Or you could ask him if he’d like to go to a hotel. Either way, it’s probably best not to bring up the amount for now.
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I’m BB7.
Option 1 seems like the safest choice, but I think it’d be better to consider that man a bonus and find someone else for a monthly arrangement.
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More than six hours for dinner only is a long time.
If it were my papa (a male supporter), I’d definitely be going back to his place by then. I mean, even if you met at 6:00 p.m. and wrapped up at midnight, that’s six hours—plenty of time to have a leisurely meal and then go back to his place.
Rather than saying I was short on money, I’d tell him I felt lonely because we couldn’t go back to his place. In that situation, I really would feel that way.
At the very least, knowing in advance whether it’s dinner only that day would make a difference in how you feel. If simply asking about that puts him in a bad mood, I’d prioritize someone else instead of dealing with such a difficult person.
Marika
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The man likely has several other partners as well, so you should proceed carefully.
The fact that he’s already increasing the frequency of your dinners may mean he’s considering bringing things to an end.
I just hope mentioning money doesn’t become the final straw…
Paper Airplane
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here with an answer as well.
Don’t underestimate men.
With any of the proposals from 1 to 3, you could end up stepping on a landmine—a person to avoid. It would be a shame if things ended as a result.
I think you should continue seeing your current papa as you have been, and separately find a new papa.
You may not like the idea of seeing several different people, but if you’re ending up with too many dinner-only (no intimacy) dates, I think it can’t be helped.
Finding a few more new men would probably give you the right balance.
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I’m Basil, a male member.
I generally only do dinner dates, and I don’t usually do long appointments or overnight stays, so my style is probably the complete opposite.
Since he likely wants his partner to adapt to his style, I doubt he’d be happy with any of options 1 through 3.
If there are other prospects, it’s probably best not to fixate on him.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I imagine everyone sees it differently, but if I were presented with option 3, I’d consider ending things. If I were told 1 or 2, I’d feel bad about it.
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