I found out that my boyfriend of five years has been cheating on me. Our parents know each other, and we were even talking about getting married.
This content is machine-translated.
I’m so devastated that I’m thinking of starting papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
He apologized on his knees, but it wasn’t even a matter of whether I could forgive him—I instantly lost all feelings for him.
I’m torn between pretending to forgive him while secretly doing papa-katsu, or breaking up with him first and then doing it.
Once your feelings have died, can they ever come back?
If I’m intimate with a married older man, will my boyfriend seem better by comparison?
I’m Hiroto Arai from FS5 (Field Sales).
Everyone has their own reasons for doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), but I feel that continuing papa-katsu in your current state may only make things more painful.
I can understand the “an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth” mindset as a way of protecting yourself, but if that’s the case, do you really need to do papa-katsu?
Whether you choose to forgive or break up, acting on temporary emotions can lead to even deeper self-loathing. It may be painful right now, but personally, I think the best thing to do is let time take its course.
That’s just my opinion as an individual.
Speaking as a member of the Universe staff:
Why not try papa-katsu first, then think about it? We look forward to meeting you at your interview.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Ayase Nana☆
Getting back together with him is probably impossible at this point, and I don’t think you feel that way anymore either.
papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is fine if your goal is to find a wonderful partner, but if you’re doing it for revenge, it’ll only drag you further into despair.
You’re better off letting it go.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Kazu, a male member.
I’ve always found it puzzling when women say they “cheat in revenge” after being cheated on. How exactly is that supposed to be revenge? It seems more like a destructive impulse to me.
Whenever I lost interest, I simply ended the relationship, so I don’t know whether feelings can actually come back once they’re gone.
You might compare people within the same category, but a partner in a regular romantic relationship and someone you see in an allowance-based arrangement belong to different categories. So I don’t think they’re really comparable—and even if you force a comparison, it probably wouldn’t have much impact on how you feel about either relationship.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m in Seattle.
If he still hasn’t married me after five years, does that mean he’s still too young or unable to support himself?
If he’s just an incapable man with no prospects, I’m okay with dumping him at this point.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I don’t think turning to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) to get back at the man you loved is a good idea.
You may regret it.
If you end up unable to forgive yourself for being held by a papa-katsu man, won’t that only make things even more painful?
Akari
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
