How can I stop feeling disgusted by older men? I just can’t handle men over 55 anymore. I’ve been on a lot of dates—maybe around 30 with men aged 55 or older.
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When I’m together with them, I can force myself to try. I put on a ridiculously bright smile, acted like their girlfriend, fed them bites of food, and got affectionate with them. But once I get home, I become so mentally unwell that I think, “If I stay with this person, I’ll kill myself.” I think I’m just biologically unable to handle men that age. I can have sex with them, but I can’t maintain a long-term relationship.
The papa I’m currently seeing and really like is around 50, so it’s not that I hate older men in general. I just can’t handle men who are that old.
I want to build up a tolerance, but they genuinely make me feel sick, and my body just won’t get used to it. Is there any way to stop feeling physically repulsed by older men? Do I have no choice but to keep going on dates until I get used to it?
I’m a 20-year-old woman.
I’m Fuu, a column writer.
Your sense of attraction comes from your own mind, and since you’ve already decided that anyone over 55 is a no-go, it seems difficult to change how you feel.
Personally, I don’t notice that much difference between 50 and 55. I think it really depends on the person, though…
I imagine you feel better after putting them down here, so why not quit papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) and earn your own money through work?
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I don’t feel like there’s that much difference between 55 and 50… But if you don’t like an older man, he might look like a grandpa, which can make things difficult. I think it’s best not to force yourself—just step back and focus on generous (well-paying) papas.
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I’m Rin, a female SALON member.
Maybe you don’t need to force yourself to meet him that often? The offers might go to other female members instead.
I can’t help feeling that you shouldn’t have to put up with so much…
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I’m Ayase Nana ☆
You could simply state that you don’t accept offers from anyone over 50.
Maybe it’s time to quit, don’t you think?
It’s not worth doing if it’s making you mentally unwell.
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I’m in Seattle.
Maybe you’re meeting too many people.
The worst thing would be for it to take a toll on your mental health and leave you unable to earn. Let’s narrow it down to the ones that are less stressful or offer a better allowance.
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