I do want a boyfriend, but the thought of meeting men in itself feels like a hassle. I can’t even be bothered to see my papa (a male supporter) twice a month under our monthly arrangement. Once we meet, though, we end up talking nonstop for three hours, and things get pretty heated and enjoyable. I even find myself thinking that meeting the guy I like, whom I see once a week and who’s basically a friends-with-benefits partner, is a hassle. When we do meet, I have fun and feel happy.
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I enjoy spending time with men I like, but all the preparation leading up to it feels like a chore. So even though I want a boyfriend, I can’t bring myself to take action.
Does anyone else feel this way? How do you motivate yourselves?
I know I’ll have fun once I meet them, but I just can’t get motivated.
Maezawa from the CEO’s office here.
> I know I’ll have a good time when we meet, but I just can’t get motivated.
I’m not quite sure how you can know that and still not feel motivated.
Maybe you simply don’t enjoy intimacy that much.
It might help to think about whether you’d feel more inclined to go if it were dinner only (no intimacy), or what circumstances would make it feel less like a hassle.
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This is Ayase Nana♡
You may not have noticed it yourself, but… aren’t you starting to feel a little down…?
Or maybe… it’s almost time for you to hibernate… Don’t you feel like eating lots of food?
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I’m Aya, a female member.
Meeting my papa is part of my everyday life. It’s a habit, so I never find it a hassle.
It’s kind of like brushing my teeth, taking care of my appearance, or working out—I don’t really see not doing it as an option, so it doesn’t feel like a chore.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
You’re pretty lazy, aren’t you?
In winter, you probably don’t even want to get out of bed—or leave the house, for that matter.
You should value someone who can pull you out of the house.
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I’m in Seattle.
Having no money is like having no head, so let’s meet a papa.
As for a friends-with-benefits situation, I don’t care if it’s too much trouble.
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It’s Joe.
I don’t mean this in a positive way, but I think “mendokusai” (“what a hassle”) may be one of the most powerful words in the Japanese language. Once someone says it, there’s really nothing more you can say.
This may sound a little presumptuous, but many of life’s greatest pleasures involve something being “a hassle.” For proof, even if meeting up with a friend-with-benefits feels like a hassle, you still have a great time and feel happy once you’re together, right?
The first thing you should do is stop saying “it’s a hassle.” You can’t help feeling that way, but don’t say it out loud. If you start there, you may see more of an effect than you expect. Listen to an old guy’s advice once in a while! What? Even that sounds like too much of a hassle? Then I have nothing more to say.
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This is Osaka, a male member.
LOL, I can kind of see where you’re coming from.
I’d ask what you do once all that starts feeling like a hassle, but let me guess—do you just sit there scrolling through stuff on your phone? Even though you know it’s bad for you, you keep repeating the cycle, while still carrying around this vague, chronic sense of emptiness, right?
Someone once said that this kind of state of society has only happened once before in history—apparently during the period when opium was widespread in China, lol. Opium cost money back then, but online content is practically free as long as you have an internet connection. They say it’s even more dangerous.
The world has become much more convenient, but there are also more things that feel like a hassle. Maybe we’re being challenged to find a way to deliberately enjoy the kind of inconveniences that feel good.
We’re far more advanced than in the days when people had to struggle just to eat every day, but maybe living happily has actually become harder.
Well, I’m sure this isn’t exactly a groundbreaking take, lol.
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