A question for Kazu, a male member: You said earlier that asking, “What time should we meet?” was rude. What exactly did you find rude about it? I still have a lot to learn when it comes to life, so I’d appreciate your guidance.

I’m Nana Ayase ☆ Why not try taking the Secretary Certification exam?

I’m Rin, a female member of SALON. If you had already been discussing that day beforehand—like, “What time should we meet?”—and you two always speak casually like that, then maybe it’s fine. But if it were me, and someone was accompanying me for something personal and paying for it, I’d probably put a little more thought into how I phrased it. I think what they were trying to say was that it shouldn’t be taken for granted that they’ll accompany you for your cosmetic procedure and pay for you, and that it would be good to show a little more gratitude. I hope they get in touch with you!

Based on the words alone, it may not seem particularly rude. However, you made the discourteous mistake of assuming that men are generally negative about cosmetic surgery and may suspect that someone has had work done before. That may have made him increasingly uncomfortable. Even if he contacts you at the very last minute that day, please don’t forget this… Paper Airplane

I’m Taro, a male member. My opinion is basically the same as Kazu’s and the other respondents’, but I think explaining it properly will help the person who asked, so I’ll give it a shot. You’re having a man pay for your cosmetic surgery, right? That man is pretty remarkable—not only is he willing to pay, but he’s also supporting you in transforming your appearance. It may be fairly common in the adult video industry, but I think it’s unusual in dating clubs. As for you, perhaps you took his support as a sign of affection. Feeling happy about it, you may have started relying on him in a more familiar way or using the kind of direct language you’d normally reserve for someone close to you… I don’t know what actually happened, but if that’s the case, I can understand how you felt. The issue is the man’s perspective. Again, I don’t know the exact circumstances, but normally, after providing fairly substantial support, a man would first expect words of gratitude and some recognition from the woman. Someone with a great deal of experience who can view the situation objectively might interpret a woman suddenly becoming overly familiar as “she’s opened up to me.” But most people would probably think, “Who does she think she is? She doesn’t even thank me, acts like this is a given, and then gets all familiar with me.” It would be a shame for things to end here after getting so close to becoming something really good. Even when something promising comes your way, don’t get carried away. Follow up carefully and bring things to a close in a way that leads naturally to the next step. I think it’s probably best to be more attentive and invested than you feel is necessary—almost to the point of wondering whether you’re overdoing it. That’s probably the key to maintaining a rewarding relationship over the long term.

It’s Joe. From the way you describe it, it sounds like you and your papa (a male supporter) usually use fairly casual language when messaging on LINE and chatting in everyday life. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. But perhaps he felt a little offended if he considered this occasion something special. If he still hasn’t replied, you might try sending another message in a slightly more polite tone. Generally speaking, older men can suddenly take offense at the strangest things. It may be unreasonable of him, but try to handle him smoothly.

I’m Kazu, a male member. I felt that the way she spoke and acted toward someone who was covering the expenses was rather rude.