This papa who’s married with kids has fallen seriously in love with me, and it’s creepy. How should I deal with him?
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He keeps telling me, a college student, that he wants me to have his child. He’s the father of two and supposedly has a happy marriage, yet it scares me that he’s pressuring a college student more than 20 years younger than him to get pregnant.
But he gives me a generous allowance on a pay-per-meeting basis, and he’s convenient, so I don’t want to cut him off yet. Since he’s married, the time commitment is short and easy, but now he’s saying some completely unhinged stuff about going to Atami in January for the first shrine visit of the year and a hot spring. It’s such a hassle. He also keeps begging me to have his child, as if he hasn’t learned his lesson.
Of course, I wouldn’t have his child even if I had to die, and I’m appalled by how thoughtlessly this papa is trying to turn me into a single mother. Does he think women are baby-making machines?
Why do you think this papa keeps telling me he wants me to have his child?
Also, is there any way to avoid it somehow and continue seeing him? I’m meeting him tomorrow, but if I turn down both the trip and having a child, I feel like it’ll be over. He’s otherwise a good papa, so is there any way to keep things going a little longer?
Even if he wants to make it feel like a serious romance, I think he’s still better than a papa who offers little allowance and brings nothing good to the table.
He probably just likes you so much he can’t help himself, and wants you all to himself.
With someone that blinded by his feelings, you might as well lean into it and let yourself be spoiled. Just stay cute, and make sure you clearly communicate what you want.
If you’re genuinely uncomfortable with him on a gut level, then you can’t force it. But if you feel like it’s basically okay, it might be fun to take control of the situation.
—Akari
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I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer this one too.
In *Tomo-chan Is a Weak Character*, the protagonist is great at games—number one, in fact—but hopeless in the real world. The story is about him gradually approaching life as if it were a game.
If you think of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) as a great game and try to figure out the best way to play it, you may be able to handle this situation successfully as well.
> He says he wants me to have his child.
You could probably just go along with him and say things like, “I want to have your child too,” or “I’d love to have your baby.”
But if you’re worried that he might try to finish inside you, for example, there are various options, such as taking the pill without telling him. You could also say that today isn’t your ovulation day and that you don’t want to do anything on days other than your ovulation day.
> I’m appalled by how thoughtlessly this papa is trying to make me a single mother.
You could probably work in questions like how much he would pay each month in child support and allowance.
> If I turn down both the trip and having a child, I feel like it’s over.
I feel like it would be better to keep going along with what he says while finding ways to avoid it. But even if you turn him down, I don’t think it necessarily has to end, as long as you don’t give him a strange or implausible excuse.
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It’s Joe.
Reading the questions here, I’m always struck by how many different kinds of papas (male supporters) there are. The women’s answers are exciting too, since they offer perspectives Joe would never have considered.
That was just a general impression, though.
I suspect quite a few papas want children for various reasons, although I’ve never felt that urge myself—not even 1%. According to the women’s answers, it sounds like he was joking, so you can probably just brush it off appropriately. Still, becoming an even bigger source of money may be a bit much for you to handle. That’s just my impression, of course.
You can simply turn down the trip to Atami. There’s the MOA Museum of Art, and Yugawara has a hot-spring inn that Joe loves, but you might enjoy those more when you’re a little older. Oh, though I’d recommend going with your boyfriend. Another option would be to ask your papa to buy you a condo in Atami. Condos from the bubble era with hot springs are being sold for next to nothing—sometimes even in the low six figures—so he might buy one if you ask. Enjoying the ocean view from the living room while having some fun standing up would probably be exciting with your boyfriend!
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
Hmm… I don’t really want to advise the questioner since both sides are at fault, so I think you should just do whatever you want.
Some people say you should stop being manipulated and become the one in control, but I tried that and found it empty. I guess it’s different for everyone. You’re free to think and live however you want, lol.
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It’s Seattle.
If I had money to spare, I might want my second wife to have my child.
Why not go ahead and have one? If it were me, I’d offer ¥100 million in child support. He might even offer more. Ask first, get it in writing—or have him pay upfront before you go through with it.
Realistically, though, this is a chance to negotiate a higher allowance. Try the approach the other commenters mentioned.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
If you’re trying to take advantage of a married papa (a male supporter) who’s genuinely fallen for you, then you’re in the same boat as him.
If you refuse to have unprotected sex, I don’t think you’re likely to end up pregnant.
If all he’s doing is saying it, isn’t that relatively harmless?
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I’m Aya, one of the female members.
I think it’d be a shame to let such a great opportunity go to waste.
The part about wanting a child is 99% a joke, but I think that papa really likes you. That’s why he’s so generous with your allowance.
As Marika pointed out, if you handle him appropriately, it may be a little vulgar, but it could lead to some serious profits… Unless you’re physically repulsed by him, I’d personally aim to make as much as possible.
Specifically, you could get teary-eyed and say, “I want to have ○○’s child too! But I’m scared…” Or occasionally show some emotional instability by going back and forth between “Maybe I really can’t have a child after all…” and “No, I love ○○, so I’ll do my best to raise the baby!” You could also say you want to get healthier so you can have his child and ask him to cover your gym fees.
Thanks to my papa, I regularly get comprehensive checkups at a famous gynecology clinic in Hiroo. As a result, I’m perfectly healthy as a woman. You might even be able to avoid hot springs by saying, “I’m trying to conceive, and my doctor told me hot springs are unhygienic, so I shouldn’t go.”
Unlike Marika, I don’t have much sex appeal, and I’m merely slim, so I’m the type who profits through an ongoing relationship rather than making money off a first impression. Besides, most women don’t have that much allure, so you should get creative and make sure to squeeze him for all he’s worth. If you build a relationship where he’s happy to be squeezed dry, it’s a win-win.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Money earned by putting up with things feels healthier than money earned the easy way.
But money you can earn just by enduring could also be called easy money. That’s what my job is like.
Let’s handle it sensibly.
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Isn’t it basically just a kind of role-play, like saying, “Would you have my baby?”
You could just get him all worked up by saying, “Sure, why not~,” then take the pill and brush him off, couldn’t you? As for the trip, I think you should just go normally—but if you don’t want to, all you can do is turn it down.
So if you want to be like Aya and succeed at papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), you can’t be stupid.
Marika
As expected, Aya.
The questioner was lucky to receive such wise words from Aya.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I don’t know whether this is supposed to be a question or just a rant, but I don’t think anyone who goes on and on like this here is capable of handling things well.
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