What’s with the older men who ask, “Are you really okay with me?” before an adult relationship (intimate)? I mean, obviously I don’t want to be with some unattractive older guy I barely know after only meeting a few times, but if he pays enough, I can put up with pretty much anything. Why even ask?
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I feel like most girls would put up with sex with a gross older guy for 1 million yen—using a condom, with no kissing or oral sex. Especially if they’re doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). No matter how gross the guy is, they’ll put up with it if the money’s right, so is there really any need to ask? I wonder what kind of face he’d make if I turned him down by saying, “Putting the amount of money aside, your looks are a bit much for me.”
I’m Dai, a male member.
One of the frequently asked questions is, “Is papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) prostitution?” I finally understand the answer now.
Someone like the person asking this question—who would sleep with anyone if offered enough money—is a prostitute.
papa-katsu is, after all, about freely chosen relationships, so you should only let things develop into an adult relationship (intimate) with a man you genuinely feel comfortable with.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
If you already know the answer and are asking this question anyway, fine. But if you’re asking because you genuinely don’t know, start by learning how society works.
Catering to the person paying you so that you can earn money is pretty normal outside of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), too. And if you’re working hard at it, that’s something to be proud of. The more seriously you work, the more you come to understand how different things are.
Conversely, if you can compromise on various things in papa-katsu, there are plenty of ways that can help you in your career as well.
There are a lot of people in this world who have it easy and lack determination, so simply being able to compromise and accommodate the other person puts you a step or two ahead.
It’s not just papa-katsu. People will do whatever it takes to make money.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Prostitution doesn’t take place at dating clubs; rather, they facilitate consensual relationships accompanied by an allowance. Please don’t engage in prostitution through a dating club.
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I’m Basil, a male member.
It’s basically a final check to see whether they can go through with it as long as the money is there. Occasionally, someone takes a shower and then decides they just can’t do it after all.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
Papas see papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) as different from escort services because they don’t want to be with a woman who would sleep with anyone as long as she’s paid. So when he asks, “Are you really okay with me?” the answer he’s hoping for is probably something like, “I want it to be you, [name]♡”
If you can hide your true feelings and make your papa (a male supporter)—your customer—feel genuinely special, I think papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is a way to quickly earn around ¥1 million, even if you hardly ever go to hotels.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
Haha（笑）
That’s a good question（笑）
This is a scene that often comes up early on when a young woman and an older man start seeing each other. I’ve been through similar moments many times myself, but fortunately, she was willing to listen. We’ve spent the past three years working through our problems one by one.
There’s a more than 40-year age gap between us, so calling myself just an “older guy” doesn’t quite cover it（笑）
The other day, I happened to see our reflections in a mirror. All I could see was a gray-haired, masked old guy and a clearly young-looking masked woman. So I said, “Don’t we look kind of strange together?”
She replied, “Not at all! You two look absolutely perfect together!”（笑）
I hope that, before long, you’ll be able to say, “I think we could really hit it off!” rather than, “The age difference is pretty tough to look at.”
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