I've been seeing the same woman for over a year. It's not just about sex—we've built a relationship as two people, and as a man and a woman. She says she doesn't see me just for the money, and that she genuinely enjoys spending time with me and respects me. (Though maybe that's just part of her strategy to keep things going...)
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She's wonderful in both appearance and personality, and although she's more than a decade younger than me, I've become completely emotionally invested—it's more than just liking her.
However, I'm married and have no intention of destroying my family. And since we met through a dating club, I understand that money is fundamentally part of her motivation. (That said, it seems things have continued for so long because being with me offers her benefits beyond money alone.)
In the end, even if we continue like this, she'll never truly be mine, and I'll simply be waiting for the day she moves on to another man. The longer our relationship continues and the stronger my feelings become, the more painful it is.
Now that things have come this far, would it be better to end it?
I joined a dating club rather than going to a hostess club or similar because I wanted an emotional connection, not just a physical one. But now that I've found one, I never expected it to bring problems like this...
I'd appreciate hearing your opinions.
I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
As long as you’re paying an allowance, don’t you end up going all the way? Unfortunately, it doesn’t go that far.
If you’re paying an allowance, start by putting your feelings out there—full force.
Worry about everything else afterward.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I thought this was a question from my papa. It sounds like you have a really good relationship. To cut to the chase, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with continuing as you are.
Isn’t papa-katsu that leaves you yearning the best? The chances of her becoming so attached to you that she tries to destroy your family are very low, so I think you should continue seeing her with the same level of emotional distance. Wishing you both happiness.
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
This has me thinking about exactly the same thing, lol. I can’t offer any advice, lol.
Just knowing there are other people thinking along the same lines helps me a lot, haha.
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I’m Date ◎ Yume, a male member.
Another great question（笑）
Conclusion:
I think you should continue as far as you can without disrupting your family life.
You’re dealing with a man and a woman, so all sorts of things may happen, but I think it’s best to stay within the bounds of a relationship arranged through the dating club. The framework of the relationship is what matters.
Have an open discussion with the woman you’re seeing and enjoy the relationship.
Don’t get too emotionally invested, but being too casual can make things boring, too…
You’re both adults, so find the right balance and have fun dating.
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If you avoid getting too serious, refrain from being possessive or prying, and make an effort to maintain the kind of relationship women are looking for, won’t she continue a comfortable arrangement that meets your expectations as well?
Just keep in mind that this is, after all, a dating club.
Akari
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I’m in Seattle.
First, look in the mirror. If you’re handsome, go ahead.
Does she want to get married?
Are you willing to break up your family?
If all the terms line up, get divorced and marry her.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I’m also fond of the two women I’ve been seeing for over a year. Both of them have said things to me similar to what the questioner’s partners have said. So I think that when you meet someone good through a dating club and the relationship continues, feelings like that naturally develop.
If this situation is painful for you, ending the relationship might give you a clean break and be for the best. But after breaking up with your current partner, do you intend to look for another woman, end up in the same situation again, and repeat the cycle?
Personally, as long as you have no intention of breaking up your family and the women don’t want that either, I think you might as well continue the relationships.
P.S.
Maybe seeing more women would help by spreading out your feelings. I say that because I’m fond of both women individually, but I don’t find the situation painful.
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