I don't know what body type is considered acceptable. I'm currently 160 cm tall and weigh 42–43 kg. Exactly a year ago, I weighed 10 kg more. Then I developed anorexia and could no longer eat properly, eventually dropping to 37 kg. My parents told me I was frighteningly skinny, but men at the club would say things like, “You’re slim and have a great figure.” They don’t say that as much anymore. Now they tell me, “You’re just the right size—not too thin or too heavy.”
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Even now, I can't eat properly. I eat 3–4 kg at a time, repeating this about eight times a day. I keep eating and vomiting, and that's how I maintain this weight. If I fail to vomit even a little, I immediately gain 2–3 kg. I can't control my appetite, and vomiting is the only way I can maintain my figure. I also try walking for exercise, even though I'm not good at it, just to stay as slim as possible. The men seem to think I’m just the right size now, but if I gain even a little weight, will they see me as fat? I think I’m underweight according to my BMI, but if I reached a normal weight, would I no longer fit the ideal of the men who say my current figure is just right?
I'm scared they'll dislike me if I gain weight.
I’m Shingo Lee, a column writer.
From a man’s perspective, having a healthy mind is 5,000 times more important than whether you’re overweight or thin.
> Men tell me I’m just right as I am now, but if I gain even a little weight, will they see me as fat? I think I’m on the thin side according to my BMI, but if I reach a normal weight, would I no longer fit the ideal image of the men who say my current figure is just right?
> I’m scared they’ll dislike me if I gain weight.
Please consider visiting a clinic so you can reach a state of mind where you don’t have to worry so much about other people’s opinions.
Any man who cares about whether you’re thin or overweight either just wants a one-night stand or is only interested in paying for sex. Getting involved with people like that will only damage your mental health further.
The person you need is someone who will value you whether you’re thin or overweight. If you ever became seriously overweight, they would surely be the ones to gently point it out.
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I’m Ayase Nana☆
Are you doing nothing but eating and throwing up?
The reason you gain weight after eating is that, because you vomit, your body desperately tries to store nutrients whenever you manage to eat even a little. Please notice the distress your body is trying to tell you about.
You’re 160 cm tall, right? Even 50 kg is perfectly fine.
It’s not as though men like bones. They prefer soft, gently curving hips and a soft bust they can touch.
Besides, even with food, bones are just thrown away, so they’re useless.
And first of all, exercise. If you exercise, you won’t suddenly gain a lot of weight.
Start exercising today.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here—I’ll answer as well.
Apparently, the standard weight for someone who is 160 cm tall is 56.3 kg. From a health perspective, that would be ideal, but men who prefer slim women don’t seem to be very interested in women at the standard weight.
With that in mind, the man you’re currently seeing would probably be a little disappointed if you reached the standard weight.
However, if you build a strong relationship while you can, you may become close enough that your weight no longer matters to him.
So I think it would be best to focus on building a relationship based on your personality and inner qualities.
That said, if you feel that would be difficult, apparently the standard weight for a slim build at 160 cm is 47.4 kg, so I think maintaining around 46–47 kg would be a good idea.
At that weight, I think most men would consider you just right. By “just right,” I mean just right for someone who likes slim women, so I think you can feel reassured.
> Does that mean I wouldn’t fit the ideal of men who say my current figure is just right?
Even if you gain 4 kg and reach 46–47 kg, I think you can assume that you still wouldn’t fall outside their ideal.
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I’m Rin, a female member of SALON.
Rather than worrying that someone will dislike you if you gain weight, I think the most important thing is for you to stay healthy. Wouldn’t you be happier with someone who wants to be with the healthy you, instead of someone who would leave just because you gained weight?
You’re not fat. Please enjoy delicious meals without worrying about it. Alternatively, you may want to consider seeing a doctor.
I hope you’ll be able to get healthy.
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There’s no such thing as an unacceptable body type, but I believe the membership requirements included wording like “being in good physical and mental health.”
It seems you’re already a member, but at the moment, you don’t appear to be physically or mentally healthy.
People have different preferences when it comes to body types, but I don’t think anyone wants to date someone who isn’t healthy.
Marika
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I’m in Seattle.
At 160 cm, up to 60 kg is fine. Even 70 kg is within my acceptable range.
Recently, someone I’ve been seeing for seven years reached a height-minus-weight figure of 75, so I told her I wouldn’t see her again until she lost weight.
Bottom line: you’re far too thin. Your body is crying out that you’ll die if you don’t get enough nutrition. Isn’t your skin dry and rough, too?
You’re in the same condition as someone suffering from malnutrition in the postwar period.
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