Do papa-katsu women sometimes fall for a papa they only see occasionally, even though he would usually be little more than an afterthought? I don’t give her gifts at all, and we generally only meet once a month (pay-per-meeting, under ¥50,000), so I’ve enjoyed papa-katsu while assuming she’d drop me if she found a better papa (a male supporter).
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I’ve been seeing one woman for about a year now. She’s beautiful and has a wonderful personality, so I’m sure she could find as many papas as she wanted, yet she continues to meet me. If her only motivation were money, I feel she would have ended things long ago. Is it okay to think that she may have at least some genuine feelings for me?
I’m Rin, a female member of SALON.
Of course, only that woman can really know for sure, but perhaps she finds something appealing about you besides the money?
Maybe she’s looking for something other than money from a man. You must be a wonderful person!
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I’m Maezawa from Shacho-shitsu, and I’ll answer this one too.
If we’re talking about something rare, I suppose it’s possible for her to develop feelings for you—but it feels about as likely as winning the jackpot in the lottery.
If you’ve actually won the jackpot before, then you must be incredibly lucky, so there’s a chance she really does like you.
But realistically, that kind of thing usually doesn’t happen.
I can’t say for sure based solely on the fact that you’re dating, so try analyzing her words and behavior carefully during your dates:
Did she celebrate your birthday?
What were things like around Christmas and New Year’s?
Has she ever suggested going on a trip together?
Looking closely at those kinds of details may give you a better idea.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
I have a similar dating style, and I assume the women are in it for the money.
Either they don’t need much money to begin with, or they’re seeing other men as well.
It’s best not to mistakenly assume that a woman has genuine feelings for you.
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You may be grinning as you write all that, but you should let go of any excessive expectations or faint sense of superiority.
Maybe he’s simply a papa (a male supporter) who’s nothing special one way or the other—someone you see about once a month, who doesn’t interfere with your schedule and isn’t unpleasant.
Akari
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Does that mean you’re only still meeting them because of the money and because they’re someone you don’t really care about, rather than cutting things off…?
Paper Airplane
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I’m Aya, a female member.
To put it realistically, I think it’s because “the allowance is low, but he doesn’t cause any trouble. And even if it’s considered low, I still receive at least ¥50,000 every time, so I’m grateful, and there’s no reason to end things.”
With fewer opportunities to meet new people because of COVID, you may both be keeping each other as options.
If you don’t expect too much emotionally from him and remember to give as well as receive, I think you could have a long-term relationship.
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Column writer Fuu here.
I don’t know for sure, but if she’s beautiful and has a good personality, she may also have two or three other monthly supporters, plus a boyfriend. Still, judging from your description, you sound like a gentleman and a kind person, so perhaps you’ve been chosen as one of the men in her rotation.
That’s how I choose to think of it.
That way, even if she’s the one who ends things, it won’t hurt as much.
If I started thinking things like, “She has at least some feelings for me,” it would probably stir up complicated emotions, so I’d make an effort not to think that way.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
For her, you’re probably someone she can have a satisfying arrangement with for an allowance of 50,000 yen. Affection can take many forms and vary in depth, so I think you could interpret it as a form of affection too.
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I think she likes you enough that even a pay-per-meeting allowance of ¥50,000 or less feels fair.
Beyond that, though, I think it’s best not to press the issue if you want to maintain your current peaceful relationship for a long time.
I don’t think she’s seeing you reluctantly.
Marika
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